


Everything's Gonna Be Alright [Everything's Gonna Be Just Fine]

by devious-sex-monster (darkotter)



Series: Everything's Gonna be Alright 'verse [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Aged up characters, Agoraphobia, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Anxiety Attacks, Blow Jobs, Depression, F/M, Face Sitting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of Suicide Attempt, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Polyamory, Self-Harm, Semi-Public Sex, Trans woman!Haruka, Transphobia, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, chef!haru, happy endings, mentions of dysphoria, mild slurs, teacher!Makoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2019-10-12 00:57:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 59,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17457563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkotter/pseuds/devious-sex-monster
Summary: After being kicked out of his house by his abusive ex, Sousuke finds himself in need of new living arrangements. When Rin tells him some of his friends are looking for a roommate, he's more than willing to go check it out. But he doesn't really know what he's getting into, or just how much his two new roommates will change his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT'S UP, GUYS? DID YOU KNOW THAT I AM, IN FACT, NOT DEAD? I am back, with a whole new story (actually completed) for your enjoyment (hopefully). I really missed writing fanfiction. I know I haven't updated my ABO in nearly two years... I still plan on working on it, but this was scraping in my skull, begging to be written. 
> 
> Thank you [maybeillride](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeillride) and [Jelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrojellyfish) for allowing me to talk about the fic extensively as I was writing it! 
> 
> So, not all of the tags are obviously in this first chapter. I wanted to put up at least most of them, just to warn what's going to happen in the future. I will also include warnings on the specific chapters for the more trigger-y content (like self-harm). There are also several original characters in this, but they are side characters to help move the plot along.

               Sousuke was amazed that he had actually been able to find the apartment complex in a reasonable amount of time. He had _almost_ gotten turned around at the train station, turning left instead of right, but he had thankfully thought to look at the map on his phone before actually leaving and so turned the correct direction.

               He had already spoken to Rin extensively about the apartment – the location, the layout and square meters, and of course the people already living there. His friend had been the one to suggest it when he lamented that he still hadn’t been able to find new living arrangements because the current tenants were Rin’s friends, although Sousuke had never met either of them yet. So this would be their first meeting.

               He was almost 100% certain that he’d take it no matter what, though, because he _really_ needed a place to stay that wasn’t Rin’s couch. The redhead had been kind enough to allow him to stay when Sousuke got kicked out of his old place but the house Rin lived in was loud and packed, and Sousuke felt bad for taking up a big chunk of the living room with all of his shit.

               That was probably another reason why Rin had suggested it, because he knew that this living arrangement wasn’t the best for everyone involved. There were already too many people in the house to be legal and adding Sousuke – on the couch – was a bit much. He hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in a week and a half.

               So here he was, on the corner of 67th and 123rd, looking up at the apartment complex, still amazed he had found it without having to call Rin for help. He really needed to use his phone more often to find places. The complex looked nice from the outside – neat, clean, with several sakura trees next to the entrance. He shifted his backpack on his shoulder and walked through the open gates.

               Sousuke walked up three flights of stairs, grimacing at the thought of taking that at least twice a day (at least one of those would be down, thank god) and down the walkway. He looked at his phone then at the key Rin had passed onto him to double check that he had the right apartment.

               Number 313. That’s what it said on both the key and the LINE Rin had sent him. He had been told that the two other tenants would be there – Tachibana Makoto and Nanase Haruka if Rin’s message was correct – so he would be able to speak to them about the lease and moving in.

               He _really_ needed to get out of Rin’s house. He hoped this would work out.

               Sousuke put the key into the lock and turned, opening the door slowly and stepping into the foyer. The small space was neat. There was a coat rack to one side and a small line of shoes – male and female, he realized. Had Rin said that Haruka was the girl?

               But as he let the door close behind him a suspiciously familiar sound reached his ears as he stepped a little further into the apartment and the living room came into full view.

               Sousuke’s mouth fell open, eyes widening, as he took in the scene on the large western style couch that butted up against the wall. Three people were occupying it, two men and one woman. The woman was on her hands and knees between the other two, long sheets of raven hair covering her face and hiding what her mouth was doing, but he didn’t need to see it to know what was going on there.

               A second later Sousuke realized he _recognized_ one of the men. The man by the woman’s head, who was brushing her hair back from her face as the other, tall, well-muscled, brunet, worked behind her.

               It was _Rin_.

               The brunet looked up from where he had been running his hand down the woman’s back, watching how her muscles moved, if Sousuke guessed (because he knew he always liked doing that) and finally spotted him. His green eyes widened in surprise and his mouth opened to say something, hips stilling against the girl, but Sousuke was already turning right around and walking out of the apartment.

               The door made a loud bang as he let it fall shut, trying to erase the image of his best friend in a fucking _threesome_ in the house he was supposed to be moving into. He pushed away the small twinge of arousal that he had felt from seeing that – admittedly very erotic – scene as he walked back towards the stairs.

               The door banged open again. Sousuke couldn’t help it. He glanced over his shoulder to see if it was Rin who was following him, but it wasn’t. It was the tall brunet. He had obviously tugged his pants on hurriedly because he hadn’t even buttoned them, but at least he was wearing _something_ since the hallway was open to the air and everyone’s views. It was also cold.

               “Yamazaki!”

               Sousuke guessed this was Makoto but it was a little hard to know since both of them had girly names, so really it could go either way. He stopped walking as the other man caught up with him, panting and a little flushed still but he was smiling kindly at him.

               “I’m… so sorry about that!” he said. “We thought you’d be here later this afternoon. We wouldn’t have, ah, done that if we had known.”

               Sousuke let out a slow breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Are you Tachibana Makoto?” he asked a little tensely. Seeing his best friend like that had been seriously uncomfortable.

               “Ah, yes! You can call me Makoto though,” the brunet said with a bright smile and reached out his hand to shake Sousuke’s. The dark haired male squinted at it suspiciously. “I washed my hands.” As if Makoto had been able to read Sousuke’s mind. Or maybe just his expression. So Sousuke reached out and shook hands. Makoto was telling the truth, his hand was slightly damp.

               “Please, come back in? We’re really excited to meet you, Rin’s told us so much about you! I think you’d like living here!” Makoto said earnestly.

               “I won’t go in if they’re still…” Sousuke drifted off. To be honest, he wouldn’t have been quite as uncomfortable if it had just been Makoto and the woman (who he guessed was Nanase Haruka), but with his best friend in there it just added a whole other layer. And to find out your possible new roommates had threesomes. With your best friend.

               “I told them to put their clothes on. I’m sure Rin is decent enough at least,” Makoto said. “I’ll make sure Haru has clothes on.” His eyes were twinkling, as if he could tell exactly what was going on in Sousuke’s brain. It was a little unnerving.

               But what else was he to do? He desperately needed a new living arrangement. One with an actual bed and a kitchen and bathroom not shared with five other _men_. So he followed Makoto back to the apartment and slid his shoes off in the foyer when the door closed.

               Rin was indeed decent, standing by the couch as he looked at his phone. Sousuke thought he saw a flash of long dark hair disappearing into one of the doors down the hallway as he came into the living room before turning his attention to his best friend.

               The redhead gave him a toothy, somewhat guilty grin. “Hey! Sorry, Sou,” he said. “To be honest, I thought you’d be later… You didn’t get lost on the way here, did you?”

               Sousuke scowled and punched Rin’s arm, maybe a little harder than usual but he didn’t really care. He was angry at Rin. The redhead winced and rubbed his shoulder.

               “Hey it’s a safe assumption, dude!” he said. He was still grinning.

               “Again, I’m so sorry you walked in on that,” Makoto piped up. He had gotten a shirt now, too, which Sousuke was glad for. There had been nail marks down his chest, and it had been a little… distracting.

               “It’s Rin’s fault, I’m sure,” Sousuke said, ignoring Rin’s indignant ‘hey!’ to look at Makoto. The brunet smiled, eyes crinkling.

               “So I’m sure Rin’s shared all the details of the apartment. It isn’t the _biggest_ , but you’ll have your own room and bathroom – Haru and I have the master bed and bath, so you won’t have to share with Haru’s, uh, bathing habits,” Makoto chuckled, to Sousuke’s confusion. Whatever _that_ meant. A moment later the brunet yelped and jumped, rubbing his arm. Nanase Haruka had appeared beside her boyfriend and had given him a sharp pinch.

               Thankfully she was now dressed as well. A loose top with patterns of fish and a long flowing skirt, which made her slender frame look even more slender. She was incredibly beautiful and Sousuke couldn’t help but think of the way her breasts moved as Makoto worked into her. He shook his head to clear it.

               “Don’t make it sound weird,” she said, staring up at Makoto, face impressively blank and composed for someone who had just been spit-roasted five minutes before.

               “Spending an hour in the bath morning _and_ night is weird, Haru,” Rin said and she glared at him as well before walking off, skirts swishing around her ankles, going into the kitchen. “So that’s Nanase Haruka,” Rin continued, “although she prefers to go by Haru.”

               “Would you like to see the apartment?” Makoto offered, smiling at him. They were about the same height, Sousuke maybe a centimeter taller, and just as broad but he figured Makoto wouldn’t be called intimidating like Sousuke often was with his easy smile and bright, kind eyes.

              “Yes,” Sousuke replied, ignoring Rin completely now. The redhead huffed but said nothing else, instead following Haru into the kitchen.

               “So we split all utilities and internet. Rin said you didn’t have a car, so we don’t have to worry about parking. The rent is pretty cheap since it’s three people in a two bedroom apartment,” Makoto said cheerfully. “Living room, obviously. Kitchen is through there,” a jerk to the open counter that looked into the living room – he watched as Haru put the kettle on the stove, “your room will be the first on the right. You have a door directly into the bathroom.”

               Makoto led him down the hall and flicked the light on in the bedroom. It was empty and clean. A door leading to a closet was open at one side, beside another door that obviously led to the hallway bathroom. “It’s not too shabby, right?”

               Sousuke had to admit it was a pretty nice room. He did have his own furniture (well, a bed, dresser, and desk at least) so that wasn’t a problem and having his own bathroom would be incredibly nice. Especially if what Rin said was true and Haru took hour long baths in the morning and in the night. He peaked briefly into the bathroom to see it was pretty standard, a little small but fully equipped with shower and bath.

               Makoto then showed him the hallway closet and washer and dryer – they had a washer and dryer! Sousuke hadn’t been expecting that at all, especially for the amount of rent they were asking him to pay. He was used to using shared laundry rooms which tended to be a pain and some would lock after a certain time. So that was exciting.

               They went back into the living room to find Haruka – Haru – had put together some snacks and tea and was sitting on the couch with her own small cup, gazing blankly at Rin as he talked animatedly about… _something_. He stopped when the other two arrived and grinned.

               “So, Sou? How do you like it?” he asked.

               “It’s pretty good,” Sousuke admitted although he was still a bit peeved at his best friend. Sousuke’s teal gaze flickered to Haru, finding the young woman was staring at him. Was there interest in those large blue eyes? He couldn’t read her expression in the slightest and finally looked away. “I should tell you I’m currently, uh… unemployed. But I do have enough for the next two months while I look for a job.”

               Makoto glanced at Haru, who gave a small nod. “That’s fine, I’m sure you’ll find something. Will you move in?” he asked somewhat excitedly, beaming. “We can figure the lease out easily! The landlady is very nice.”

               “She just likes you because you let her touch your arms,” Haru intoned which caused Rin to laugh and Makoto to splutter. Sousuke found himself grinning in spite of himself. Despite the rough first encounter, the apartment was nice, the rent was cheap, and Makoto and Haru seemed nice enough.

               “Yes, I will.”

 

               It only took a day to get all of his stuff into his room and another to get settled. Sousuke realized he didn’t really have that much stuff as he was unpacking his various items. He did have some stuff to add to the kitchen, which Makoto said was perfectly fine – he could use whatever space he needed.

               Makoto had also told him that he could use whatever pots, pans, knives, and various other cooking things if ever he needed them and Sousuke was impressed by just how much they had. He found out after a day that Haru cooked often and actually worked as a chef at a rather nice restaurant not too far away.

               Makoto himself taught primary school and coached swimming. Sousuke wondered why they needed a roommate, because they seemed pretty well off job security wise, but that seemed too personal a thing to ask. Maybe once he knew them better.

               Haru was incredibly quiet, Sousuke soon found out, and several times had been startled by her sudden appearance in the kitchen or the living room. She was overall a silent person, moving quietly and speaking softly or not at all. He was slowly getting used to it.

 

-

 

               Four days after he had moved in, as he was settling into bed – oh god it was so _wonderful_ to have his own bed again, he could actually _sleep_ again – he found that Haru wasn’t _always_ quiet. She was, actually, _very_ loud if she wanted to be, with Makoto. Either Makoto was very good at what he did (probable) or Haru was just loud during sex (also probable, so maybe both?) because he was definitely impressed. And maybe a little aroused. He put his headphones on, which effectively drowned them out, as he listened to music.

               Sousuke figured he could deal with roommates having sex. It was nowhere near as crazy as Rin’s house, where everyone was coming and going at all hours of the day and night, or his old apartment which had just been plain toxic. It was definitely for the best that he had been kicked out, he was slowly realizing.

               His headphones did the trick and he drifted off to his music.

 

-

 

               Sousuke was leaning against the counter in the kitchen one morning about a week into his new stay, sipping coffee from his favorite mug as he scrolled through his phone. He had been job searching late into the night and was trying to wake himself up before getting back to it. Maybe he’d take a shower.

               Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement and looked up, opening his mouth to say “good morning” to whoever it was but the words got stuck in his throat as he actually saw the person. It was Haru, looking half asleep, long hair mussed up hectically…

               …and completely naked.

               Sousuke spat out coffee back into his cup as he choked, wheezing and looked away from the woman.

               “You’re not Makoto,” she said blearily, peering at him through her bangs. She rubbed her eyes and yawned widely. “Did he already leave?”

               “I, uh, I don’t know,” Sousuke said, looking anywhere but at the incredibly naked woman in front of him. He could feel his cheeks burning.

               “Oh. Okay,” Haru said and drifted away, back down the hallway towards her and Makoto’s bedroom, leaving Sousuke standing there in shock and arousal. She really was a gorgeous woman. Her skin smooth and pale, breasts just a little bigger than one would expect on someone of her build, and neatly trimmed pubic hair between her legs. She had also been covered in hickeys.

               Sousuke cleared his throat and tried to go back to drinking his coffee, feeling flushed and a little hot under the collar.

 

-

 

               As it turned out, Haru seemed to prefer to be naked when at home. Sousuke could still not get used to it. It was just so un-Japanese and so un-ladylike – not that he believed in all those stereotypes, he liked to think at least – that he was having a hard time wrapping his head around it.

               Most of the time it seemed completely un-sexual. Nude instead of naked. She just didn’t seem to like clothes. That was as much as he could get out of Makoto, at least. Sousuke tried his best to divert his gaze.

               Those two had a _very_ healthy sexual relationship. Almost every single night, from what Sousuke had heard. Sometimes he was out at night and by the time he got back they were both asleep, and sometimes he already had his headphones in, but it seemed that _most_ nights, they fucked.

               Rin hadn’t been over again since Sousuke was there. At least since he was at _home_. To which Sousuke was incredibly glad, because he didn’t really feel like seeing Rin sneaking out of the apartment at three in the morning as he went to get water.

 

-

 

               Sousuke was typing on his computer one night, headphones on and some random Pandora station playing when a shadow crossed the light spilling in from the hallway. He blinked, starting, and glanced at the clock. It was 23:45. Much later than the other two usually stayed up. At least in the two weeks he’d been here.

               He slid his headphones off and turned to the door and his mouth suddenly went very dry.

               Haruka was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, wearing nothing but one of Makoto’s shirts, and it was only buttoned once between her breasts. She and Makoto had obviously just finished having sex, because her hair was messed up and impatiently pulled into a bun and then… He couldn’t help himself, he really couldn’t. He wanted to be a decent guy, who didn’t look at other men’s girlfriends, but she was _right there_ and he just couldn’t stop.

               “U-uh,” he said stupidly. A small smile seemed to curl Haru’s lips and she pushed herself off the door jam and over to Sousuke. Her hips swayed tantalizingly before stopping beside his desk. Resting one of those beautiful hips right there on the wood.

               “Do you want to touch me?” Haru asked, her voice low and a little hoarse. He really had missed all the screaming hadn’t he?

               “What?” he asked, staring at her blankly.

               “I asked if you wanted to touch me,” she repeated slowly. Her tongue flicked out over her soft looking lips. “Because I want you to touch me.”

               “What,” Sousuke said again just as dumbly as before. This just _couldn’t_ be happening. Makoto’s girlfriend was _not_ coming onto him right after they just fucked. With him in the other room, taking a shower, by the sounds of it.

               Haru sighed softly and carefully pushed Sousuke’s things further up the desk and before he could do anything she had settled on the lip, right before him, one foot on either side of his chair. Sousuke closed his mouth, swallowing with difficulty. A wash of conflicting emotions flooded him then as he gazed blankly at the beautiful woman before him.

               “I want you to fuck me,” she said, taking his hand from his lap and setting it right on her breast over the shirt. A low flush crept up Sousuke’s face as he felt her shift under his hand, then she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

               He had been right: her lips were incredibly soft, his own mouth going slack and eyes widening, brain stalling out.

               And then suddenly his mind jumped into overdrive, his breath catching in his throat. He knocked her hand away from his and grabbed her shoulders, pushing her back forcefully. Haru let out a yelp as her head hit the wall but Sousuke couldn’t find it in himself that he cared. He had jolted out of his chair, sending it toppling to the ground, and stared at her with wide eyes.

               Makoto came bursting into the room, a towel wrapped around his waist, just as Haru was sitting up, rubbing the back of her head.

               “Ow…” she mumbled, wincing before looking over at Sousuke.

               The dark haired man had backed up until the back of his legs had hit his bed and ended up sitting down.

               “What happened?” Makoto asked, looking back between the two.

               Sousuke mouthed as his heart rate finally slowed. “I… I don’t know.”

               “I just kissed him and he flipped out!” Haru said looking a little upset as she slid off the desk, still rubbing her head.

               Makoto sighed and grabbed her arm. “I’m so sorry, Sousuke,” he said. “Good night.” And he bodily dragged Haru from the room, making her stumble. Leaving Sousuke alone and sitting there in shock.

               He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. That had never happened to him before. Usually he would have jumped for glee at a hot woman kissing him and begging him to fuck her, but for some reason his brain had just whited out. Sousuke ran his hand over his face and laid back down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe he should go to sleep. He could deal with whatever the fuck had just happened after a reset.

               He thought he vaguely heard his roommates talking in the bedroom, but he couldn’t comprehend the words as he slid his eyes closed.

 

-

 

               “I’m really sorry about last night, Sousuke,” Makoto told him, looking sheepish. It was Saturday afternoon and the brunet had just gotten home from work; Haru still seemed to be at work. Sousuke had slept much later than usual, feeling disoriented and numb as he dragged himself out of bed to make himself coffee, and Makoto had found him drinking it sitting on one of the kitchen stools staring blankly across the room.

               “Huh?” he asked.

               “With Haru, I mean,” Makoto explained. “She shouldn’t have done what she did.”

               “You… aren’t upset that she, uh, was coming onto me?” Sousuke asked, setting his cup down on the counter.

               “That’s not why I’m upset,” he said, shaking his head. “We have an open relationship. That’s not the issue here.”

               It took Sousuke a moment to comprehend what Makoto had just said to him because _open relationship_? So that meant Makoto was actually _okay_ with Haru wanting to sleep with him?

               “It’s how she went about it. She obviously upset you and I know she won’t really apologize,” he continued, seeming to be unaware of Sousuke’s inner conflict. “She really should have, ah, asked you first.”

               “To be honest,” Sousuke started, chewing on his words carefully. “If…it had been a year ago, I probably wouldn’t have hesitated.” Makoto nodded, showing that he was listening. He stayed quiet, like he could tell that this could be important. Sousuke sighed. “I don’t know if Rin told you but the reason I needed a new place to live was that my ex kicked me out of our house. That’s why I was staying at Rin’s…”

               “I’m sorry to hear that,” Makoto said sympathetically.

               “It’s probably for the best, she was a bitch,” Sousuke said, letting out a humorless laugh. “I think I might have just…freaked out because of her.”

               “Understandable,” Makoto said. “I always tell Haru that we need to _discuss_ before just jumping into things. That’s why we haven’t been able to keep a roommate. She scares them away. Or they get scared of what _I_ might do if I ‘found out’ because she conveniently forgets to tell them that we’re open about these things.” He sighed. “She’s just… really, _really_ bad at talking, if you couldn’t tell before.”

               Sousuke took another sip of his coffee. “What does it mean, that you guys have an open relationship?” he finally asked.

               Makoto came to sit down on the stool beside him, so that Sousuke had to turn to keep looking at him, but was genuinely intrigued, because he had never really heard of that before. Not even from Rin, who could be very, uh, _loose_ about who he dated and slept with.

               “It means we’re free to see and sleep with other people,” the brunet said.

               Sousuke gaped at him.

               “But really it’s just Haru. I’m too busy to see other people aside from the odd date here and there, and she keeps me, uh, satisfied,” Makoto chuckled awkwardly.

               “You… you don’t feel bad that she sleeps with other people? Isn’t that kind of saying that you’re not enough?” Sousuke asked, shocked. He raised his cup to his lips and found he had no more coffee and looked into the cup, a little surprised. When had he finished that?

               “For Haru, if I was ‘enough’, as you said, I wouldn’t have any time to sleep,” Makoto said with a smile. “And no. I mean, sometimes I get jealous, but it’s easy enough to work through. There are plenty of things her other partners can offer her that I can’t, even if it’s just more orgasms. Everyone loves differently.”

               Sousuke chewed on this carefully as he got up, refilling his cup with more coffee. “That’s…”

               Makoto smiled at him, a soft, kind smile. Like he knew what Sousuke was going through. “Different, I know. But it’s becoming more and more popular, especially over in America. There are actually a number of American books that have thankfully been translated into Japanese that are wonderful about open relationships.”

               “Oh,” Sousuke said because he didn’t know what else to say. What was he supposed to say? He _had_ been overwhelmed when Haru came into his room and came onto him. Had kissed him so suddenly, right after fucking Makoto. He really wished he could have had this conversation earlier, even just to save himself the guilt of thinking Makoto’s girlfriend was hot.

               Makoto smiled and got off the stool. “I understand that it might take some time working through that. Feel absolutely _no_ pressure to become one of her partners, of course. I’ll speak to her about it,” he let out a light laugh, “she needs to learn to use her words.” And he left Sousuke sitting at the island, gazing after him. Probably to change out of his ‘teacher clothes’ as Rin called them.

               He stood up suddenly, nearly spilling the rest of his cup of lukewarm coffee as he pushed the stool back. Rin. He needed to talk to Rin. Maybe that would help clear up some of this… this madness. He downed the rest of his coffee, grimacing at the feel of it, and went to take a shower. Before he did so though, he sent a LINE to Rin.

 

**[To: Rin] Let’s get coffee. Usual place.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke talks to Rin and has a new experience with Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait a couple more days... But I just couldn't help myself! I'm just so excited to share this, and I hope you like. If you DO, think about supporting me on [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ottersfic)! There, you can have input on some of my fics, participate in poles on what I should post, discussions, excerpts of next chapters and fic! Please, at least check it out! It's just a baby patreon right now, but I will start using it more often.
> 
> We're getting more into it now! I'm still nervous about posting again, since it's been so long. So be kind.
> 
> [This chapter has some smut]

Sousuke wondered if he could actually have too much caffeine as he sat in Their Corner of Their Coffee shop, waiting for his best friend. He had been forcing himself to drink it slowly, since he _had_ had two cups earlier at home. It wasn’t like his sleeping schedule was existent at all, though, so did it really matter?

He knew Rin would show up eventually. He hadn’t really specified a time, and although Rin had responded with ‘sure’, he hadn’t either. That was okay, though. This allowed Sousuke time to think, alone, out of the house. Because getting out of the house had definitely been in order.

“Hey!” Rin’s loud voice reached Sousuke’s ears and he looked up to see his best friend dropping his book bag into the chair across from him. “Be right back.”

The larger man watched as Rin wound his way to the front of the shop to get a drink. He was back quickly, the line not being long at all as it was an awkward in-between time during the day, plopping into the chair after moving his bag.

“So what’s up?” he asked, sipping at his drink carefully. “So cryptic in your message. You doin’ alright there?”

Sousuke didn’t speak for a long time, long enough that Rin’s grin actually slid from his face and he looked a little worried. He set his cup down on the table between them and leaned forward, red eyes filled with concern.

“I… don’t know,” he finally admitted. Rin cocked his head to the side questioningly and so Sousuke took a deep breath and continued. “Last night… Haru asked me to have sex with her.” He said it quietly so the tables nearest them wouldn’t hear.

Rin sat back in his chair. “Ah. Oh. Wow. She lasted this long? Usually she’s a _lot_ faster to jump on someone’s bones,” he said thoughtfully as he picked up his cup again. He caught Sousuke’s angry scowl. “What? She does! I don’t know if you should feel honored or insulted that it took her twice as long, though. Maybe you’re defective.”

“Gee, thanks. Dick,” Sousuke said, muttering that last bit. Rin just blinked at him, not raising to the insult, which surprised him. Usually he’d respond with his own quip in the same vein. “Don’t you think that this could have been something you could have, I don’t know, _told me about_ before I moved in with them?”

He was still scowling and Rin sighed, setting his cup down again, looking exasperated.

“Look. I wasn’t even sure if Haru would do something like that. She’s been getting better, but I suppose I should have expected it. You are very much her type,” Rin explained. “The thing with Haru is… is she’s a free spirit, I guess? She does what she wants. And _who_ she wants. Usually she doesn’t get much resistance.”

“Yeah I’m sure you didn’t resist her much,” Sousuke replied dryly, taking a long draw of his coffee. Rin gave him a toothy grin.

“No resistance at all. Have you see that ass?”

Sousuke chose to ignore this. “So she’s done this with all of their roommates? She sounds, well, kind of like…” he drifted off. Saying what was on his mind was incredibly insulting if he was being honest with himself, but he couldn’t think of any other term that seemed to describe her.

“A slut?” Rin offered and Sousuke spat some of his coffee out. He seemed to be doing that a lot ever since he met Makoto and Haruka. He spluttered, staring at Rin in shock. The redhead was, at the heart of it, very respectful of people, women especially, and for him to just come out and call one a slut was, well, shocking. He let him control his coughing before continuing. “I’m using _her_ words, man. She calls herself that and she says it very proudly.”

“Isn’t that… well… inappropriate? Dangerous?” Sousuke stopped talking, unable to find the right words. “I mean. Sleeping with a lot of other people?”

“I feel like you should be speaking to Haru or Makoto about this,” Rin said, finally looking a little embarrassed. “They get tested regularly, you know. And even if Haru isn’t always the best at communicating, she’s _always_ communicating with Makoto. They’re on the same page. Always. I think they’re soul mates actually, they have this weird mental connection. Wigs me out sometimes.”

“Weird mental connection aside,” Sousuke plowed on, although he thought Rin had a point because he had seen something like that happen in front of him before as he watched the two. They seemed to be able to talk without words. Rin grinned. “Wouldn’t _you_ be uncomfortable if your girlfriend was loose –”

Rin cut him off. “She prefers slut, that’s her own term, loose however is not and I don’t think you should use that. And also, she’s _not my_ girlfriend, she’s _Makoto’s_ girlfriend. So really, whatever I would be feeling, if I were in this position with her, doesn’t matter. Because it’s not my situation.”

Sousuke fell silent. His best friend seemed to have a point, there was just a lot to take in. He stared down into his mug.

“Hey.”

Sousuke looked back up. Rin’s voice was softer now.

“I’m sure part of this is because of Himari, right?” Rin asked, head cocking to the side as Sousuke swallowed hard and looked away. “I know it’s hard to talk about, man. What she did was _horrible_. But you don’t have to deal with her anymore. And maybe Makoto and Haru can be close friends. They’re very understanding.”

“Hah, I’m sure they’d think I was pretty pathetic, letting –”

“There was no _letting_ , Sousuke,” Rin said and to his horror he could see tears in Rin’s eyes. Because of course Rin still cried for him. He was so emotional.

“Okay, okay,” he said quickly so that Rin didn’t start sobbing in the middle of the café.

Rin cleared his throat and hurriedly scrubbed his eyes. “Believe me, they’re both _very_ understanding. They’ve both been through some hell too.” He stopped talking for a moment and took a steadying breath. “So give them a chance. I know Haru is a lot, but maybe… she can help?”

Sousuke finished his coffee and looked over at his best friend. How was it that Rin was _so good_ at this kind of shit? He really was a little mad at himself that he had nearly made him cry, but it wasn’t too hard to do that if he was being honest. He watched Rin finish his coffee and they both stood up in unison. When they noticed this they grinned at each other and the red head gave Sousuke a soft punch on his good shoulder.

“Plus,” the redhead said as they walked out of the café, “she has _killer_ blowjob skills.”

Sousuke punched his arm as the woman walking passed them into the café gave them both a scandalized look.

They both went their separate ways and Sousuke was shocked to find that the sun had set (had he really gone there so late?). The temperature had dropped considerably with it and he wrapped his jacket tighter around himself. It wasn’t too bad but it was definitely a little chilly. At least the apartment was within walking distance. The apartment seemed to be within walking distance of a lot of things.

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through Facebook and Twitter as he walked – his chosen social media poisons – and nearly bowled someone over as they exited a restaurant. He reached out automatically and grabbed their arm so they wouldn’t fall and found himself looking down at…

…Haru!

She blinked, looking startled, but he couldn’t tell if that was because he had nearly sent her crashing to the ground or if it was seeing him in the first place. He dropped his hand quickly.

“Uh…hey,” he said awkwardly.

Haru actually smiled a little up at him. “Hi.”

He looked over her head to see where she had just exited. It was a rather upscale restaurant, one he had seen dozens of times walking to the café. He had briefly peeked at the menu and was rather horrified at what the prices had been.

“You work _here_?”

“For now,” Haru said as she turned and started walking in the direction he had come from. He looked incredibly confused, glancing back in the direction he had been going then in the direction she was walking. She paused and looked back at him, a questioning look on her passive face. “Aren’t you heading home?”

“Uh. Yeah. Sorry. Got turned around,” he admitted and hurried to fall into step with her. Her legs were shorter than his and he found himself slowing his strides to match hers. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She looked very nice, he realized. He could see a white chef’s jacket just under her winter jacket – even if the trees thought spring was here, the temperature hadn’t gotten the memo – and her hair was done up in a tight bun. He thought she might even be wearing makeup but it was hard to tell in the dim light.

“You don’t have a very good sense of direction, do you?” she asked and was she _teasing_ him? He looked at her and yep she definitely was, because her eyes were dancing with amusement. “Rin told us.”

“Bastard. Useless friend,” Sousuke declared, which actually got a soft laugh from Haru.

They walked in silence and the man found it wasn’t actually too terrible. People were bustling here and there, enjoying their Saturday night.

“It looked like the restaurant was still open, do you not close?” he finally asked, glancing down at her.

She shook her head. “Not on Saturdays,” she said simply.

He looked up and found that she had led them back to the apartment complex. He really should have been trying to pay closer attention to the route she had taken them on so that he wouldn’t get turned around next time he decided to go to the café. But it was nice to know that the restaurant was so close, too.

They both called out as they entered and Makoto appeared in the doorway, looking surprised to see both of them together.

“We ran into each other,” Sousuke explained.

“Sousuke was going the wrong way back home,” Haru said as she shed her coat and hung it on the rack.

“Hey!” Sousuke said, glaring at her.

Haru ignored him and slid off her shoes, stepping lightly over to Makoto. Pulled him down for a deep enough kiss that it made Sousuke blush a little before drifting off airily to their bedroom.

“Hey waaaaait, Haruuuuu! Feed me!” Makoto whined, trying to catch her hand but she wiggled away, eyes dancing, and Makoto slumped looking sad.

“Feed you? Isn’t that archaic? Have the woman cook?” Sousuke asked as he shed his coat and shoes too. He had been momentarily distracted watching Haru kiss Makoto.

“It has nothing to do with that!” Makoto said huffily.

“He can’t cook,” Haru called out from the bathroom before they both heard the water running and Makoto groaned.

“I’m hungry,” he whined more to himself than Sousuke. “She’ll be in there for forever…”

“I can make us something,” Sousuke offered. He felt that he owed it to them… or at least to Makoto. For being so patient and kind. Plus he thought the big brunet was being kind of cute like this. When he said those words Makoto brightened immediately.

“Really?” he asked and beamed. He was almost too bright to look at directly. Sousuke huffed, amused, and made a beeline into the kitchen to see what they had. Makoto left him be, going back to the table where he had had his computer and books and papers spread out all across the surface.

It didn’t take him long to make something for the two of them. Haru still hadn’t returned from the bath but Makoto didn’t seem worried. In fact he looked excited when he finally was able to eat and actually _groaned_ when he took the first bite.

“You’re a really good cook!” he said, carefully stacking some of his papers so that Sousuke could sit and eat too. Sousuke chuckled softly. “I’m _horrible_. If Haru ever left I’d starve. If she ever leaves for multiple days Rin comes sometimes comes over or I order out or she makes me food in advance. I’m so useless.”

 

Haru reappeared what seemed like hours later. They had finished dinner and cleaned the dishes, Makoto going back to lesson plans for the next week, he had explained to Sousuke. And of course she wasn’t wearing clothes. She had wrapped her hair up in a towel turban and had another towel around her hips, but it was wrapped like a man would – like Sousuke had had his wrapped earlier today and like Makoto had last night – so her breasts were on full display.

She seemed unperturbed, as always, as she came over to them and leaned against Makoto’s back. Sousuke watched, rather enamored, as a droplet of water fell from some of her fringe not hidden in the towel, right onto the back of Makoto’s neck. She had pressed her breasts up against him in a most definitely suggestive manner.

“Haru…” he said and looked at her apologetically. “I really need to finish these.”

“You have tomorrow.”

“I need to finish _this one_ tonight,” Makoto said, motioning to the lesson plan he was working on. “I’ll finish the rest tomorrow. Please call someone for tonight.”

Haru sighed and straightened up then gave Sousuke a pointed look, cocking her head to the side, lips curled in a slight (suggestive) smile but Makoto interjected before he could formulate something to say.

“ _No_. Call someone. Call Kisumi, he hasn’t been over in a while,” Makoto said. He hadn’t even looked up from his work and Haru’s face fell but she nodded slowly and flopped down onto the couch, grabbing her phone.

Sousuke sent a grateful look over to Makoto when the man glanced up again. He smiled and nodded then grabbed his headphones so he could focus since it did look like Haru was going to call someone to come over. Or message them, as her fingers tapped away at her phone. Sousuke took this as a good time to leave and went down the hall to his room.

As he was getting ready for bed, slipping on sweats pants and finding his phone charger, he heard a loud, boisterous voice call “Haruuuuu” from the living room accompanied by laughing (Makoto’s, he thought) and loud shuffling. Then he settled onto his mattress, sighing softly and grabbed his ear buds to muffle the sounds he would undoubtedly be hearing soon.

Today was a weird day, he thought, as he chose his favorite sleep mix before closing his eyes.

 

-

 

Sousuke _still_ couldn’t find a job! He had applied to everywhere within walking distance and a little further out, even, and still _nothing_ , and he was running out of savings to pay for the rent. He was sure if he spoke to Makoto and Haru about it, they’d understand, but he was definitely feeling useless. It really shouldn’t be this hard for him to find a job. It didn’t even have to be a good job! It wasn’t as if his bills (besides his cellphone) were expensive! He just needed to make enough to pay for rent and food until something better fell into his lap.

He _was_ getting a little hopeless though.  Which was why one could find him sprawled out on the couch, arm thrown over his face, computer sitting abandoned on the coffee table, listening to whatever music his computer had decided to play.

_Useless useless useless_ he repeated in his head then let out a frustrated groan and aimlessly kicked the couch. He was acting like a child, he really was, but at the moment he couldn’t help it! It was just so… _frustrating_. It seemed like he just couldn’t catch a break since… well, since Himari, it seemed, which didn’t help his mood in the slightest.

Sousuke groaned again and shifted his foot. He didn’t even notice when the couch cushion dipped, signaling someone sitting down beside him, until they touched his thigh. He started rather violently, jolting upright with an undignified yelp and found himself face to face with Haru. She didn’t seem to have even flinched with his ridiculous reaction, just blinking at him with those large, _beautiful_ eyes that seemed to see through his soul.

“H-Haru. You startled me,” he admitted, rubbing a hand down his face.

“You were being loud,” she commented. “I could hear you before I even opened the door.”

Sousuke flushed dully. Was he really being that loud? Well that was embarrassing. He suddenly became very aware that her hand was still on his thigh and he looked down at it before looking back at her face.

She was wearing another long flowing skirt, a deep, royal blue, and a top that showed just a sliver of her tummy. She was incredibly cute.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Sousuke felt like her hand could burn him but he didn’t have the energy to ask her to remove it or push it away. It actually felt kind of nice. She had started rubbing her thumb in small circles, causing his breath to hitch slightly.

“I’m… fine,” he grunted out and glared at his computer. Haru glanced at it to see the jobs finder site open, before looking back at him.

“You look tense,” Haru admitted and before he could stop her, her slender hand was sliding up his thigh and he knew exactly where her target was.

“Wait!” Sousuke said, startled and grabbed her thin wrist. She immediately stopped, gazing at him.

“Sousuke,” she said seriously. “Just let me do this… You need it, I can tell. Anyone could tell. You need… release.”

The way she said that last word had Sousuke swallowing on his suddenly very dry tongue.

“I mean, you aren’t wrong but, well,” he floundered. He had no reason to deny her.

“Just a blowjob. I won’t go further,” she stated, blinking her large eyes slowly. Like a cat showing affection, and Sousuke flushed even more. And finally, _finally_ he gave up. She wasn’t lying. He really did need some way to calm down and get out of his head and his hand wasn’t all that helpful. And maybe after this she would leave him alone… if he wanted her to? Did he?

Haru cut off his thoughts by settling between his legs and mouthing at his crotch over his jeans. Sousuke jumped at her suddenness but slowly relaxed, letting out a low exhale. Was he really going to let her do this? Suck him off in the middle of their shared living room, where Makoto could come home at any moment? He remembered what Makoto had said, that they were open. But did this actually benefit Haru at all? What was in it for her, if all she was doing was sucking him off?

Once more though he was jolted out of his head when he felt small hands finally touch him and a surprised moan escaped him. He looked down, leaning back onto his hand, and saw Haru on her elbows, having pulled out his member from his pants. She was gently stroking him with deft fingers, more of a teasing touch than anything else, and it was _definitely_ turning him on.

He let out a soft groan, feeling more blood rush south. He was hardening quickly under her hands which seemed to please her. Sousuke closed his eyes. He hadn’t had someone give him head in a really – really, really, really – long time and even without her mouth yet, with just the ghost of her warm breath, it felt good.

He was not going to last, he realized.

“Ah!” he gasped out, as he felt those soft, impossibly soft, lips finally close around the head of his cock and he forced himself to open his eyes. Haru was looking up at him as she slid her mouth further down him, sucking as she went. Shakily he lifted one hand, supporting himself on his left, and brushed her hair back from her face and held it there. Out of her way. She hummed appreciatively, sending a jolt through him.

Sousuke just couldn’t take his eyes off her. Even though she was small she seemed to be able to take so much into her mouth – Rin had been right, she really did give amazing blow jobs – as she bobbed her head, letting out soft gasps and moans.

Pleasure shot down his spine as she did so, bucking his hips a little. He quickly stilled them, not wanting to choke her or upset her, but she didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, only redoubling her efforts on his cock.

Belatedly he realized that _she was touching herself._ Her other hand was down the front of her skirt and moving, her hips undulating, as she sucked on him. His dick twitched as he realized this and he let out a loud groan. He didn’t know why but that just made this ten times hotter… because maybe she was getting something out of this. Haru really seemed to be enjoying herself as she sucked at him.

Haru pulled off him for a moment, letting out a soft huff, panting as she looked up at him. Sousuke still had his hand in her hair, mouth open, just staring at her. She pulled her hands away and sat back. “Move,” she demanded and he dumbly did as she said, moving so that he was leaning against the back of the couch. Then she moved back to his lap, perpendicular to him, her breasts (she wasn’t wearing a bra!) now pressing against his thigh as she sank back down onto him.

This position was a lot more comfortable, he found, as the fingers of his right hand made it back to her hair, keeping the long silken locks out of her face for her. And that allowed his other hand to be free. Free to roam. She didn’t seem to be touching herself anymore, instead squeezing the base of his cock with one hand and massaging his balls with the other. It was an awkward position for the latter, only because he was still wearing his pants, but it felt good nonetheless.

Without letting himself think too hard, Sousuke dropped his other unoccupied hand onto her back. Then slowly, slowly, ran it down her spine. Her back arched and she let out a soft whine through him. He groaned. He paused, panting, unsure, with his hand resting at the small of her back, right before the swell of her ass.

He really wanted to touch her.

Haru wiggled her hips impatiently and swallowed around him, causing all of Sousuke’s misgivings to fly out the window as he moaned – god she was good at this. So he slid his hand up over her ass, giving it a squeeze, before down the back of her thigh. Then he carefully pushed up her skirts. She shifted so she wasn’t kneeling on them, allowing him to move them as he pleased. They ended up pooling around her waist.

From this angle, Sousuke couldn’t see much, but he could see the curve of Haru’s ass and it was absolutely beautiful. She had stopped sucking for a moment, panting against his thigh as her hand continued to move slowly over his cock, as if her jaw needed a rest and as if she was waiting for him to _do something_.

So he did. Sousuke ran his hand back down her ass and found – causing him to swallow and his cock to jump once more in her hands – that she wasn’t wearing underwear. Did she ever? It didn’t seem like a Haru thing to do if he was being truthful. He let out a loud moan as she redoubled her effort on his cock, bobbing her head and swallowing, moving like she was made for this, and wiggling her hips again demandingly.

The large man finally dipped his fingers down and pressed them against her lips. Haru let out a loud keen and moved against them. She – was – so – wet. Sousuke’s head spun and he let it fall back onto the couch as she moved her mouth on him, slowly pressing a finger into her pussy.

Haru was panting hard now, sucking in breath around his cock and rocking back against his finger, trying to get him to touch her more. It was definitely working though because Sousuke pressed another finger in and started to move them in and out.

“Ah! Yes!” she moaned out, having pulled her head off momentarily. Using his hand, gentle but insistent, he guided her back to sucking at him, which seemed to only rile her up more because he felt her clench around his thick fingers.

“God,” he groaned out, plunging them deeper and causing her to moan even louder. She was getting messier and messier but it still felt absolutely amazing. So Sousuke removed his pointer finger, sliding his other three fingers back inside before she could complain, and found her clit easily.

Haru was moaning obscenely around his dick now, crying out with every rock of her hips.

“K-keep going,” Sousuke gasped out, giving her head a soft push so she had to take more of his dick. A guttural groan escaped her and he tested it out again, forcing her down. Her entire body seemed to spasm as he thrust up into her mouth experimentally, all the while fucking her with his fingers.

Looking down at her, Sousuke saw tears in her eyes. He let up immediately, panicking, before she grabbed his wrist and forcing his hand back onto her head. She actually gave it a little push, as if telling him what to do.

“Really?” he choked, hips moving of their own accord. She swallowed against him and gave a minute nod. Enough of a yes for him. So he pushed her head down even further, feeling the back of her throat flutter at the intrusion. He found that he really enjoyed the sound of her choking around his cock, and he redoubled his efforts in fingering her.

Haru was absolutely gasping and crying now. Each thrust of his fingers seemed to force a moan out of her, which went straight to his cock. He rocked his hips up to meet his forceful pushing on her head and suddenly she was sobbing through him, hips flinching. His hips snapped up and she was choking and gagging but followed his hips back down when they went, and she was coming around his fingers, he could tell by how her soaking walls clenched down on his fingers and she was keening loudly around him, but it was cut off and muffled with how deep he was in her mouth.

Sousuke’s hand let up on the pressure and he let his head fall back. “Haru!” he cried out and came. He had meant to give her more warning, he really had, but it had come up at him so suddenly he hadn’t had the chance. And she was pulling off, just a little, before sinking back down as he spilled himself into her mouth and down her throat and he was still finger fucking her, hard, the obscene squelching filling the whole room.

Finally he stopped cumming and let the hand in her hair drop to the couch cushion, slowly pulling his fingers from her.

Haru carefully pulled off him and sat up. Her face was bright red and there were still tears clinging to her lashes. Her hand, at least one of them, was gently stroking him still, and for a moment he couldn’t figure out why she hadn’t said anything yet.

Until she opened her mouth. Sousuke’s cum was pooled on her tongue and slowly spilled over her lips before she closed it again and made a large, obvious swallow. Then she opened her mouth once more to show that she had actually swallowed it all.

“S-shit!” he gasped out, hips jerking as he came again. It wasn’t nearly as powerful and he didn’t cum nearly as much, but it still happened and he was shocked. Sousuke had never experienced a second orgasm so close behind a first. And now Haru was bowing her head once more back down to his cock, slowly cleaning it off with gentle licks and sucks.

“Fuck,” Sousuke said and finally pushed her off when it got too much.

Haru sat there before him, skirt pooled in her lap, gazing at him with something that looked like pride?

“Feel better?” she asked, flicking her bangs out of her face and giving his thigh a gentle squeeze. Sousuke nodded numbly as he put himself back into his pants. She rocked onto her knees and gave him a surprisingly chaste kiss before getting up. “Don’t stress too much.” Then she left the room, drifting like she usually did, like she was otherworldly and had no plan of where she was ending up, even though he was sure she was going to the bathroom to take a shower or a bath or both.

He was left sitting on the couch, gazing unseeingly at his computer, mouth a little open. Had that just happened? Had he just gotten the most mind blowing head he had ever had in his entire life from his roommate? A twinge of guilt ran through him suddenly and unexpectedly, overwhelming him momentarily, and realized that even if she and Makoto were open, he had to tell the other man.

Honesty and communication were good, right? He had researched – a little – about open relationships and even sneaked a peak at the sexuality books that sat on one of the bookshelves in the living room, set beside books of the ocean as if it were normal and for all the world to see. But then he thought – and he was almost positive in this thought – that all of Makoto and Haru’s friends knew what they did and who they were and weren’t uncomfortable in the slightest to see a book titled _The Ethical Slut_ on their shelves, and so it was normal for them.

But one of the big things always mentioned was communication. He wasn’t sure if Makoto wanted to hear about his girlfriend’s sexcapades, but he found that he really needed to tell the brunet. And hopefully that would get rid of this guilt that had suddenly and randomly blossomed in him after his high of the (best by far) orgasm waned.

 

Sousuke got a chance later that evening, as Haru was in the kitchen swaying back and forth as she cooked something that smelled godly. He and Makoto were both on their computers at the table, Makoto with glasses perched precariously on his nose as he squinted between the screen and papers set before him. Sousuke had no idea what he was doing because there was no way grading primary age children’s school work was _that_ focus worthy. The black haired man was – once again – looking at various job sites but felt slightly more relaxed about it, maybe even hopeful. Even with the guilt and nerves curling in his stomach.

“Hey Makoto,” he finally said as he listened to the sounds of something getting thrown into a wok, the sound of sizzling filling the room. The brunet took a moment to respond before looking up briefly.

“Huh?” he asked. He was most definitely still thinking about his work with the way his eyes were glazed over.

“I wanted to tell you about something that happened, between Haru and I, earlier today,” he forced out, stiffly, a low flush coloring his cheeks. He focused on his computer but he wasn’t actually seeing it. He was trying to calm his thundering heart which he was sure Makoto could hear, if not for the sizzling veggies in the wok in the kitchen.

“You don’t have to,” Makoto said immediately, finally sitting up completely and rolling his shoulders. He took his glasses off and dropped them on top of the pile of papers to look at him.

“Yeah but,” Sousuke started, taking a long, deep breath and letting it out just as slowly, trying his best to not look into the kitchen, “I need to.”

Makoto gazed at him for another long moment then smiled and nodded. “Alright,” he said. He threw a glance into the kitchen but Haru wasn’t looking at them. She was chopping something with her back to them. She might not even have been able to hear them.

“Well, earlier, uh,” Sousuke said. His cheeks darkened. Makoto waited patiently. “Haru gave me a blow job and I ended up fingering her.” His words gushed out of him quickly as if that would lessen the embarrassment of saying such a thing. It didn’t. He knew he was blushing now and gritted his teeth, all his attention on his keyboard.

The sound of the knife stopped, but only for a second before more things were dumped into the wok. If Haru could hear what he had said she was ignoring it. Or letting him tell her boyfriend.

The brunet nodded, still smiling. “Haru told me,” he said. Sousuke just stared. “Did you enjoy it?”

The teal eyed man nodded slowly.

“And she asked first, right?” Makoto asked, shooting a look at his girlfriend. Haru obviously _was_ listening because she raised her middle finger at him, causing the brunet to chuckle.

“Yeah,” Sousuke said.

“Then it’s all good,” Makoto replied then picked up his glasses and looked back at the ridiculously long paper he had been looking at before Sousuke had interrupted him. Sousuke just sat there, chewing all of this over. Thankfully, he _did_ feel better; the guilt slowly uncurling inside him and slipping away. He took another deep breath through his nose and found himself staring at the back of Haru’s head. Her hair shimmered beautifully, like the back of a raven or magpie. Did she bring good luck like a magpie, too?

Then Makoto spoke up again but this time it was quietly so Haru wouldn’t hear. “I’m perfectly okay with this, Sousuke. Please believe me. You seem like a really good guy, too. So if this does continue, don’t feel like you _need_ to tell me every time something happens.” He looked up at him over the frames of his glasses. “That being said, if you feel like you need to tell me – before or after – it happens, I’m fine with it. If that helps _you_ , because I know this whole thing is new for you, then by all means.” He gave him another smile.

“If you losers are done talking about me,” Haru chimed in, “there’s food. That both of you should probably eat. Because I know for a fact neither of you actually ate today.”

She was right, Sousuke realized, as his stomach grumbled loudly. He had forgotten to eat with everything that had happened and now he was _starving_. The both got up and shuffled to the kitchen, somehow both feeling like they had been scolded – which they had.

The stir fry Haru had made was the best Sousuke had had, but maybe that was just because he felt lighter than air for the first time in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested, The Ethical Slut is a WONDERFUL book about open relationships and polyamory focusing on sex. Lots of stories from self proclaimed sluts. 
> 
> As always, if you can, please comment!
> 
> [Next chapter up soon]


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke finds out something about Haru he never expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! I hope you're enjoying this fic. I definitely enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: mild transphobia, self-harm (aftermath of cutting), abusive language; also has an original character.

Sousuke was elated. He had gotten a job! A job that wouldn’t totally suck! And not a moment too soon, because he only had half a month’s rent left and had had been having to bum food off of Makoto, Haru, and Rin.

               When he had gotten the call for the interview, he had been feeling high-strung. It wasn’t the first interview he had had that totally tanked. But this one! This one went perfectly! The owner of the _Café Bark_ , a dog café just one train-stop away from the apartment, was a wonderful older woman who had greeted him warmly. She kind of reminded him of his grandmother. The interview went smoothly and as he walked through, it seemed the dogs liked him, which definitely gave him starting points. It also helped that he had experience making coffee drinks.

               She also was understanding when he admitted he had a bad shoulder and that there were some two-handed things he just might not be able to do without hurting himself, as strong as he looked. He was pretty good at lifting things with his good arm, but there were certain things, especially in a café setting, that required both hands and he really didn’t want to end up in the hospital again.

               She had told him not to worry, that there would always be at least one other employee there – she didn’t like her employees working alone – and they would be able to work it out. It had made Sousuke very relieved. That had been a deal-breaker for _several_ of his previous tries. She even seemed to sympathize, which made him think she had had experience in that sort of thing too.

               So there was a noticeable bounce in his step as he jumped up the stairs to the third floor of the apartment complex. He had already messaged Rin, who had responded in all bold text that made it seem like he was shouting, and a lot of emojis that Sousuke found ridiculous, but he was happy. Rin was happy for him. And he found he was also excited to tell his two roommates – two new _friends_ , he corrected himself – hoping that they’d be glad for him too.

               But when he entered the apartment, sliding off his shoes, his wonderful mood vanished when he realized he heard _crying_.

               He slowly came into the living room to find Haru curled up in Makoto’s lap, tears rolling down her cheeks as her boyfriend ran his fingers through her hair, looking equally upset but holding it together for her. Neither of them looked up when he entered.

               “Uh… are you guys okay?” he asked awkwardly.

               The moment he had spoken – scratch that, the moment he had said _guys_ – Haru stiffened and whipped her head around. She glared at him, tears still filling her eyes, and flew off of Makoto’s lap and down the hall. She slamming the bedroom door behind her. Makoto had let her go, eyes filled with sadness, and ran a hand over his face.

               He was in his ‘teacher clothes’ (Rin’s name for them had stuck, it was just so descriptive), which told Sousuke that Makoto was here during lunch. Which was odd… he usually stayed at the school for lunch.

               “Uh what just happened?” Sousuke asked. “Did I do something? She looked pissed at me.”

               Makoto stood, straightening his shirt and running his fingers through his hair so it stuck up in all angles. “Haru was… fired from her job,” he said quietly. He seemed heartbroken. Sousuke understood that it sucked to be fired from a job you liked, but it also didn’t seem to warrant _this much_ sorrow.

              “Oh,” he said unhelpfully. “That, uh, that sucks.” He didn’t know how to comfort people. At all. And he was obviously floundering.

              “There’s more to it than just the job, Sousuke,” Makoto said tiredly. “But it’s Haru’s to tell you. And I really need to get back to work, I’m already going to be late. Can you please… look after her? Don’t leave her alone, alright?”

               “Sure,” Sousuke answered immediately, ignoring that little voice reminding him, for the second time in five seconds, that _he sucked at comforting people_. Makoto smiled at him, clapped him on the shoulder, then left the apartment.

               Sousuke was frozen for the longest time, staring after the man. What else was there to it besides losing the job? Was _this_ why they were still in an apartment even with two stable (well, not stable anymore) fulltime jobs that seemed to pay well, in need of a roommate? He took a deep breath and walked down the hall. He froze at the doorway but shook himself out of it and knocked. There was no response. He knocked again. Again, silence. So he pushed manners aside and opened the bedroom door.

               Haru was lying face down on the large bed, shoulders shaking. He couldn’t hear any noises coming from her, but he knew she was still crying. He went over to her and touched her shoulder as he sat down.

               “Hey?” he asked quietly. He couldn’t think of anything else to say.

               Haru jolted, as if she hadn’t heard him come in, and pushed herself up into a sitting position, pushing his hand off.

               “I heard you were fired,” he said lamely.

               “Yes,” Haru spat venomously. She clutched at the blankets tightly, shoulders shaking. Tears were still rolling down her cheeks and her eyes were a little puffy and red. Even then, though, she looked beautiful and Sousuke felt a stab of guilt at thinking that while she was so miserable. “Yes. I was fired. Again.”

               “Again?” Sousuke asked. “But you’re a wonderful cook!”

               Haru laughed and it was a grating noise, heartless and joyless and he thought he could hear her heart breaking. “That’s _not_ the issue! They didn’t fire me because of my cooking skills.”

               “Then what is it?” Sousuke asked. She looked furious now, her whole body shaking. Like at first she couldn’t say.

               “You’re going to think I’m disgusting,” she hissed, a fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks. She was angry, yes, furious, but it seemed that the anger was the only thing holding her together from collapsing once again into misery. “I guarantee it.”

               “What? Why would I think you’re disgusting?” Sousuke asked, shocked, eyes widening. What could she tell him that would make him think she was disgusting? He already knew she was a self-proclaimed slut and had a slew of sexual partners, what else could shock him?

               Instead of answering, she grabbed two orange pill bottles off the bedside table and flung them at him. Sousuke caught them – but only just –  before they hit him right in the face. He had _no_ idea what was even happening.

               “Read them.”

               Doing as he was told, Sousuke turned them to look at the label and read them. One was labeled _Oestradoil Valerate_ and the other _Spironolactone_. He had no idea what they were, he had never even heard of them. He glanced up at Haru again, who was pointedly looking away from him, shaking. She was shaking the whole bed with how much she was trembling.

               “I’m… sorry, Haru. I don’t recognize these medications,” Sousuke said carefully, lowering them. It didn’t really explain what they did, like _take two daily for pain_ or some shit like that.

               Haru let out a hysterical laugh, although her face crumpled.

               “I’m trans, Sousuke,” she whispered out.

               Sousuke just blinked.

               She shuffled forward and grabbed onto his shirt, looking desperate. “Don’t you even know what that is? How naïve can you get?!” she hit her fist on his chest – he let her. “I’m _trans_. I used to be a man!”

               Sousuke’s mouth fell open in shock. He had not expected _this_. A mixture of emotions boiled up inside him – confusion, panic… _disgust_. He grabbed her wrists and tugged her hands off him before getting up and walking several feet away. The look on her face was devastating, like her heart had shattered.

               “What?” he asked deadpan. Expressionless. Even if inside all of his various emotions were raging war against each other. He had said he wouldn’t be disgusted, but he was, he couldn’t lie, there was definitely disgust in there, fighting at the sadness to see such a beautiful… woman? look so broken.

               “I was fired because they found out I was born a male!” she practically shouted. “Do you _get it now_? Do you understand? And I can see it! I can see it. You are disgusted in me. I knew y-you were like everyone else.” And she stumbled off of the bed and hid herself in the bathroom. He heard the lock click audibly. He also could hear her crying.

               Numbly, confused, conflicted, he left the bedroom and grabbed his phone, dialing Rin.

               “Hey man, congrats on the j—”

               “Did you know Haru... was a guy?” Sousuke asked, cutting him off.

               Rin fell silent. So silent that Sousuke thought he had actually hung up. Then he spoke, “Of course I knew she was born male.”

               “And you didn’t _tell me_? I fucking fingered him,” Sousuke shouted into the phone.

               “Haru is a woman. God. I knew you were more old fashioned but this is ridiculous. I’m coming over. You better be there when I get there or else I will find you and string you up,” Rin snapped back and this time he really did hang up, leaving Sousuke so stunned he let his phone clatter to the floor.

               He shifted to the side and fell onto one of the dining room chairs and waited. His mind was racing. Haru was a _guy_? With a vulva? Because there was no penis down there. But still… Haru had been a man? He didn’t know what he was feeling. Disgust was definitely in there but… Haru _looked_ like a woman. But she – he? – didn’t start as a woman.

               Rin must have his own key because he simply walked into the apartment, kicking his shoes off. Sousuke looked up as he stormed over and the look on Rin’s face was murderous.

               “So,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “You found out Haru’s trans. Big _fucking_ deal. Doesn’t change that she’s an amazing woman with a _smoking_ body.”

               “But he’s a _man_. With tits,” Sousuke said, not getting up.

               Rin growled and grabbed his shirt, kind of like Haru had done just fifteen minutes prior. Or had it been longer? He didn’t really know how much time had passed between then and now.

               “Haru is a _woman_ ,” Rin snarled. Sousuke had never seen him this mad at him. Sure, he had seen Rin this fired up before but it had never been directed at him. “You need to get over yourself. She was born male, but she was never a boy or a man. She was _always_ a woman and she knew it, her body just didn’t match up with that.”

               Sousuke grabbed his wrist and ripped his hand off him, finally standing up. “I feel, though, that this should be something I should have been _told before she blew me_.”

               “What, does it somehow change anything?” Rin asked.

               “Yes! It does! I don’t know if I’d ever… if I knew…” Sousuke drifted off. Would it really have changed his feelings towards Haru? She was an attractive woman, skilled at cooking and skilled at sex. At least at blow jobs. He had never experienced something like that. He had wanted to take care of her… he had _wanted_ to get her to come. And he definitely couldn’t forget the feeling of her doing so around his fingers.

               Rin turned away from him, disappointed and disgusted. Sousuke looked down, a sudden and violent wave of guilt and disgust – at himself – washed over him. Did it… did it really matter? Did it? Haru was still who he… no… she was.

               “…How did you find out?” Rin finally asked, after pulling at his hair until his fringe stuck up. He turned to look at his friend, eyes sharp.

               “She lost her job. Because I guess, they found out that… that she used to be a man…” Sousuke said with difficulty.

               The redhead’s eyes widened. “She was fired? Again? Where is she?” he asked and Sousuke didn’t understand the urgency in his voice. He stepped right up into his face. “Sousuke, where is she?”

               “In the bathroom, she ran in there when I…” Sousuke stopped talking. His reaction to finding out that she was trans hadn’t been the best.

               “Fucking hell, Sousuke,” Rin said and whipped around, practically running down the hall to the bathroom. Sousuke followed, confused. Why was he so panicked? He found Rin in front of the door, knocking softly.

               “What’s the big deal?” Sousuke asked dumbly. “She… she wanted space. I gave it to her.”

               “I’m guessing,” Rin said through gritted teeth so his words were muffled, “Makoto was also here when you got back. Did he say anything to you?”

               “Well, he told me to not leave her alone,” Sousuke admitted. Rin looked over his shoulder and glared at him before turning back to the door. “What’s going _on_?”

               “Shut up,” Rin said. “Haru? Haru it’s me… can you unlock the door?”

               There was shuffling from inside and then the door opened slowly. “Rin…” her voice was soft and weak, a little hoarse, probably from crying. But when she was finally revealed, Sousuke’s eyes widened and he simply stared.

               She was naked and dripping with water. Neither of these were strange for Haru, especially if she had been taking a bath. No, it was her forearms. There were several deep cuts on both forearm, oozing blood down onto her wrists. Dripping from her fingers onto the tile. Sousuke could only gaze at her.

               Rin didn’t react, like he had expected this. He simply grabbed the hand towel and wash cloth from by the sink and wrapped each wrist with one, holding it. Haru leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder.

               “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

               “Don’t apologize, it’s alright now. I’ll message Makoto. I’m sure he can come home,” Rin said softly. He glanced over at Sousuke and his eyes grew cold again.

               “What…” Sousuke said, taking a step forward. Haru seemed to tense against Rin at his voice.

               “Sousuke just. Just _leave_. We’ll talk later,” Rin said and then shepherded Haru back into the bathroom, closing the door on Sousuke’s face.

               Sousuke was left staring blankly at the white surface, listening to Rin’s quiet words before wheeling around. He grabbed his phone off the floor and his keys and left the apartment. The door slammed behind him.

               What had she _done_? Why had she hurt herself like that?! Why would she cut herself? Sousuke didn’t know where he was going, he was just moving, walking, going somewhere that was not the apartment, since he was obviously not needed or wanted there. He had never seen someone cut themselves before. Or at least someone who had just cut herself.

               So that’s why Makoto told him to not leave her alone. Things started to fall into place in his head, thoughts still racing. That’s what those small scars were under her breasts, that he had only seen momentarily. That would explain several of the books on gender beside those on relationships and sexuality. And it would explain why they still lived in an apartment.

               Rin had said “again”. Haru had said “again”. How many times had she had to go through this? Being fired from a job she obviously enjoyed just for being who she was? How long had she been dealing with all of this? How had he missed the scars she undoubtedly had, of her own doing, that marred her otherwise smooth, beautiful skin?

               Sousuke ran into several people as he walked but barely even noticed. Not apologizing or even acknowledging that it happened. He didn’t know where he was going. He would obviously end up lost. Did he even have his wallet? Could he find the way home? He didn’t think he could call any of them right now, if he did end up getting turned around.

               He was so preoccupied that it took him several moments before he realized where he had ended up. He blinked, startled, as he gazed at his ex’s house. His house, until two months ago. As if in his sleep, as if he didn’t have control over what he was doing, he slowly walked up the sidewalk and to the door. What was he even doing?

               He knocked on the door.

               Maybe she wasn’t home. Maybe he’d wait a minute and then he’d leave, as if he wasn’t making the stupidest decision he had made in a long time. He wasn’t so lucky.

               The door swung open. Himari stood there, in her short shorts even though it was spring. She was on her phone but when she saw who it was, she said “I’ll call you back hun” and hung up. She looked him up and down, twice, before slapping him _hard_ across the face.

               He took it. What else could he do? He deserved it, really. For hurting Haru like that. For leaving her alone.

               Himari cupped his jaw. “You look like shit. What are you doing here?” she asked.

              Sousuke opened his mouth then closed it again, shaking his head a little. A smirk curled her lips.

               “I knew you’d come crawling back to me. It took longer than I was expecting though,” she admitted. “I thought you’d be back here with me sooner. You kept me waiting.”

               Sousuke looked at the ground, unsure of what to say. It didn’t seem that he needed to say anything, though, because she took his hand and led him inside. He felt horrible. What was he doing? Why was he here? Was he actually crawling back to her?

               “Did you find yourself another girl to beg attention from?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder as she led him into the bedroom. It hadn’t changed much since he had left, besides the new (bigger) bed and the pictures.

               “Sort of,” Sousuke said.

               “Hah, I knew it. You’re useless on your own,” Himari said, pulling her shirt off over her head. As Sousuke looked at her, stumbling to sit down on the lip of the bed that wasn’t his, that was probably her boyfriend’s, he realized that Haru was so much more beautiful. “What’d you do? Mess up with her, too? Is that why you’re here? You shouldn’t have left.”

               “I didn’t –” Sousuke started but she covered his mouth.

               “Your mouth isn’t good for words,” Himari said before crawling onto the bed, lying down. “You know what it’s good for. Do it.”

               Sousuke crawled over to her, settling between her legs as she wiggled out of her shorts. He felt like a zombie. He couldn’t stop his motions even though he knew he should. Because he shouldn’t be doing this, he could be anywhere else, but no, he was here, between his ex’s legs. Of course. Of fucking course.

               Himari threaded her fingers into his hair and pushed his head down between her thighs. As he pressed his tongue against her, feeling her fingers tightening in his hair, nails scratching painfully against his scalp, he wondered what Haru tasted like.

               If she was the one clutching at his hair, digging her nails into one shoulder, would he hate it like he hated this? Or would he love it instead? Would he love Haru’s thighs squeezing his head, moaning in pleasure as he fucked her with his tongue?

               Why was he doing this?

               He went through the motions, feeling Himari move and gasp under his mouth, trying to imagine they were Haru’s moans. But Himari’s moans were higher pitched, whiny even, even when Haru had whined, and his image was smashed. Because he couldn’t pretend, because he wouldn’t have the chance to see how she felt, because he had majorly fucked up.

               Himari was pulling him off. She had come and he hadn’t even noticed. “Are you hard enough for me to ride you?” she asked snidely. “I knew you always had issues with that.”

               _I didn’t have an issue with that with Haru…_ he thought numbly as he fumbled with his pants. Himari only watched, judgment painted all across her face, as he pulled out his only half-hardened length. She scoffed.

               “Get yourself hard, I want to ride you. When you’re hard you have such a good cock. It’s bigger than my boyfriends… Maybe I should just keep you around for this type of thing. You satisfy me more than he does,” she said, tossing hair over one shoulder as she watched him stroke himself.

               He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. An image painted itself in his mind. The image he had walked in on upon first walking into the apartment. Haru between Rin and Makoto, moving inside her, and her breasts swayed half and forth as Makoto thrust into her.

               “I’m impressed,” Himari said and he opened his eyes. “You got hard faster than usual.” She searched him with her eyes for a moment, then pushed him down flat onto the bed and straddled his hips. “Good. I can fuck you then.”

               Sousuke knew what to expect. Knew that she wouldn’t let him cum, inside her or out. He knew he would never get a blow job from her, he never had in the time they had been together. He let out a soft groan as she slid down onto him, closing his eyes again.

               He let her do most of the work, fingers digging into her thighs.

               “Ow! Sousuke,” Himari snapped, slapping a hand down hard onto right shoulder, causing him to hiss. “What are you _doing_? You’re hurting me.” Sousuke let go of her thighs immediately, although he let his hands continue to sit there. She didn’t seem to mind that, at least, because she continued to move above him, moaning and gasping. Like they were in a porno making a performance for an audience. She always seemed to do that. Did she even _like_ sex? Was she ever honest about it? Unlike Haru’s sounds… loud, unrestrained, _honest_. Like she actually was doing this for her, for him or her partner. Like she enjoyed it.

               Finally, _finally_ , Himari seemed to be done. She cried out a loud _fuck yes_ , a sound so rehearsed and fake that it made him shut his eyes tightly, then pulled off him. Sousuke was breathless as he stared up at the ceiling before turning his head to look at her. She had pulled out a cigarette, lighting it.

               Slowly, Sousuke sat up, tucking himself back into his pants. His cock was already losing his hardness and he hadn’t even cum. “I shouldn’t have come here,” he admitted, looking at her.

               “Probably not,” she said. “But you just had to come back and get some more of me, didn’t you? Aren’t I the best fuck you’ve had? That right, Sousuke?”

               “No.”

               It had spilled out of his lips before he had time to think. She had never been his best fuck. She had never even been a good fuck. Why had he stayed with her for so long? Why had it taken being thrown out _by her_ to get out of this house? He knew why and he hated the answer. Because he was weak. Because he was a coward. And he always fucked up and let things get out of hand.

               “…What did you say?” Himari asked slowly, lowering her cigarette. Her face contorted.

               “You’re horrible at it,” Sousuke said, getting up from the bed.

               She stared at him, shocked at his gall. Because really, he hadn’t been that honest with her before. He turned around and walked _straight_ into her boyfriend, who had obviously just come home. His face was livid and he looked between Sousuke and Himari. “What the fuck you doin’ back here?” he growled at him and before Sousuke even had time to react, her boyfriend was punching him solidly in the face. Stars blinked in front of his eyes and he stumbled backwards.

               Any other time, maybe he would have fought back. Maybe. But now, he just needed to leave. He needed to get out of this place. He never should have come here. He gave Himari’s boyfriend a hard shove as he passed him, running from the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please comment! 
> 
> Because Free! is full of ~symbolism~ I attempted that too but with irony: Himari means "home of light and love".
> 
> I have a [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ottersfic)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke comes home and he and Haru talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4! This chapter is only 3k instead of 4-5k, sorry about that - It was just kind of how the writing broke in a way that'd be good for a chapter. Shout out to all three of my fans who left comments on chapter 3. 
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mild mention of dysphoria; mentions of abuse

Sousuke wasn’t sure how he got home. He didn’t remember the trek back at all, it was like he had blacked out. But he found himself standing in front of the doorway to the apartment, face aching from the punch and utterly drained. Taking a deep breath, he went inside.

               “Sousuke I thought – What happened to you?” It was Makoto speaking. His tone had been accusatory at first but quickly changed to concern as he saw him. Sousuke looked up. Rin was still there. Haru was there too, sitting between Rin and Makoto on the couch. Her arms were neatly bandaged and she was wearing a sundress – something comfortable. It was beautiful, he realized, as he watched her slowly stand.

               Haru gently shook Makoto’s hand off that reached to her arm and stepped forward.

               And Sousuke found that his legs could no longer hold him. He collapsed onto his knees, to Rin and Makoto’s shock, and shuffled forward. Wrapped his arms around Haru’s legs.

               “I-I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I didn’t understand. I’ve been horrible. I’ve been horrible. Please. Please.” He thought he could feel tears prickling his eyes as he pressed his face against her stomach. Everything had become too much for him. Finally realizing how toxic and abusive Himari was. What he had been through. And what he had put Haru through.

               He felt hands on his head and shoulder and his arms tightened. Haru stroked her fingers through his hair and it felt so good he actually let out a sob. So pure and caring. Gentle.

               “Sousuke, man…” Rin was saying but Makoto shushed him and Sousuke was glad.

               “Sousuke,” Haru said softly and he pulled back to look up at her. She cupped his cheek, running her thumb across the scratch that was left by one of Himari’s nails, the bruise forming on his cheek and brow. Her touch was soft. “It’s okay… I. I wasn’t in my right mind. That wasn’t the right way to tell you.”

               “But I shouldn’t. Shouldn’t have left y-you alone,” he said, arms tightening around her and he heard her sigh. “I’ve been so. So judgmental. Please forgive me.”

               “I do,” she said simply and he looked up at her again, eyes widening. There was a small smile curling her lips. It was a kind, gentle smile, so different than Himari’s. “Get up.”

               Sousuke staggered to his feet with some difficulty.

               “Nothing about what happened was good. I should have told you before, you deserved to know, as my friend,” she said quietly. She guided him into a chair and took the cool washcloth Makoto handed her. He hadn’t even noticed the brunet move.

               “What happened, Sou?” Rin asked, coming over to him. He sat down next to his friend, peering into his face. “I mean, I told you to leave but I didn’t mean go get yourself beat up.”

               Sousuke glanced at him then at Makoto. Then he looked up at Haru, who dabbed at his eyebrow and cheek, cleaning it carefully. She met his eyes.

               “Sousuke. I really… I shouldn’t have put that on you, but I really wished you had just listened to what I said,” Makoto said, voice steely. So. He was still angry, even if Haru had forgiven him. That made sense.

               “Makoto, not now,” Haru said as she ran her fingers through his hair, holding the washcloth to his swollen cheek. The cold felt good.

               “He _left you_!” Makoto said.

               “ _Makoto_!” Haru replied, a little sharply. Sousuke stared up at her. Did they ever fight? Had _he_ done this? Was he to blame? He shouldn’t have come back… He should have just left. Haru handed the washcloth to Sousuke, then grabbed Makoto’s arm and dragged him into the bedroom.

               “I just keep fucking up,” Sousuke said and put his head in his hands, dropping it between his knees. Rin scooted his chair forward and touched his back.

               “Sousuke… tell me you didn’t do what I think you did?” Rin asked quietly. Sousuke stayed slumped over. “…Sousuke.”

               “…I did,” he finally choked out, shoulders shaking.

               His best friend sighed. “Talking right now won’t do any good. I think all of us need to just. Go to bed,” he finally said.

               Sousuke shook his head slowly, still between his knees.

               “You need to sleep,” Rin said. “Too much has happened. Come on. Get up.”

               It took a moment of Rin’s annoying tugging before he finally got himself up.

               “It’s okay, Rin. I’ll take care of him.” Haru had reappeared beside them.

               “But…” the redhead started but Haru just cocked her head to the side, smiling a little.

               “It’s going to be okay,” she murmured. “Let me take care of things.”

               Rin shifted from foot to foot, then nodded, kissing her cheek lightly and gripping Sousuke’s shoulder gently before he left.

               “Come on. You need a shower,” Haru hummed and tugged him into his bedroom. She helped him out of his jacket and shirt then pushed him into the bathroom. Sousuke did as she said numbly, going through the motions of a shower. Scrubbing everywhere Himari had touched raw. But he didn’t want to stay. Exhaustion was starting to creep up on him, making his limbs heavy and sluggish.

               Haru was still in his room when he came out and he froze, gazing at her.

               “Come lay down with me,” she murmured. She laid down onto his bed still in her sundress and propped herself up on an elbow. He pulled sweatpants on and joined her slowly.

               “Do you want to…?” Sousuke asked uncertainly as she set a hand onto his chest, drawing aimless patterns there with her finger.

               “I always do,” she said with a small laugh, “but no, that’s not what I had in mind.”

               “What about Makoto?” he asked.

               “He’ll be okay,” Haru said as Sousuke gazed at her. “You need company tonight more.”

               Sousuke closed his eyes and breathed deeply. She smelled nice. Somehow like the ocean, like rain on the beach, like flowers floating in the sea. _God when were you so sappy? She has a boyfriend! Even if she has sex with other people, she has a boyfriend she loves!_

               A finger poked his cheek and he jumped and opened his eyes, looking at Haru. She was scowling at him. “I can hear you thinking. Don’t do that.”

               “Don’t think?” Sousuke scoffed. “How do I do that?”

               “You just… do it?” Haru suggested with a small shrug. She hadn’t removed her finger from his cheek. He turned and licked it, causing her to scowl again and wipe it off on his skin. “Like imagine swimming. And just floating in the water. And you listen to the water.”

               “Do you swim?” Sousuke asked, a little surprised.

               “Sometimes. I used to, all the time. That’s how Makoto and I met Rin,” she hummed. “Before all of… this.” She motioned to herself vaguely. “Do you?”

               Sousuke turned his head to stare up at his ceiling. “Yeah, I did. But I… I overdid it. I pushed myself too far and wrecked my shoulder.” He took a deep breath through his nose and held it for a moment before exhaling. Haru suddenly came into his view as she sat up. She ran a finger down the scar on his right shoulder from the surgery.

               “Butterfly?” she asked, cocking her head.

               The dark-haired man blinked up at her in surprise. “…how?”

               “That kind of injury it had to be that or backstroke. Plus, your back muscles,” Haru replied. Her finger had moved away from his scar and was gently running across his skin to his other shoulder, which was easier for her to reach.

               “You know a lot,” Sousuke admitted, staring up at her in surprise.

               “Swimming was once my whole life,” Haru said with a small smile. “Rin said I could have gone to the Olympics.”

               “Wow.”

               “We were 11 though, so,” she continued, “those were big dreams. But it became too much.”

               “What did?” Sousuke asked.

               “…swimming with boys. Being around boys. Wearing a boy’s swimsuit,” she murmured meeting Sousuke’s gaze. “I already knew I was a girl by then… that was just when it had built up enough to the point where the dysphoria was making me physically sick every time I saw myself in my jammers.”

               The man didn’t know the term but what she was saying made his heart ache. The idea that looking at yourself in the mirror made you sick sounded horrible. Especially if it effected something she loved.

               “Makoto stopped swimming when I did,” Haru continued to speak.

               “Why?”

               “He was too scared to go alone,” she said and there was sadness in her voice. Sousuke watched her through the dim light of the bedroom. “When we were little, he was scared of everything. The ocean. Dogs. People. He’s obviously gotten better but there would be days he wouldn’t be able to leave his bedroom. Whenever his parents forced him to leave he would have panic attacks.”

               “I wouldn’t have been able to guess that,” Sousuke admitted. Haru gave a small shrug. They were quiet for a long time. Sousuke had closed his eyes again, keeping his breathing even, acutely aware of Haru’s fingers on his shoulder and arm.

               “Where did you go after…everything?” Haru asked quietly. Her hand stilled on his skin.

               Sousuke’s chest tightened and he swallowed hard through the lump in his throat. He kept his eyes closed stubbornly but moved his arm so that it was loosely looped around Haru’s sitting form, fingers brushing her hip. “…My ex’s place.”

               Haru made a little noise in the back of her throat, making Sousuke finally, _finally_ , open his eyes to look at her. She had a nasty expression across her face. Anger. Disgust. But he didn’t think it was aimed at him. Maybe his choice. Probably his ex.

               “Why?” she asked.

               “I… I don’t know,” he choked out. His chest felt so tight it was hard to breathe. “I just found… found myself there.”

               “What did she do to you?” Haru asked quietly. She threaded her fingers into his hair and slowly started combing through it. Brushing it out of his eyes. Playing with it. Sousuke took a deep breath.

               “She was abusive,” Sousuke admitted. “Rin told me to leave so many times. _So many times_. But I just… I just couldn’t.”

               “I don’t think Rin really understands how that works. How it feels to be there,” Haru admitted.

               “… you too?”

               “Oh yeah,” Haru said. “When I was 15 I… slept with so many guys. Boys my age. Older men I lied about my age to. Anyone who would… ‘love’ me and call me a girl. It wasn’t good.”

               Sousuke listened, eyes wide, but couldn’t think of anything to say so he stayed quiet.

               “Finally I snapped out of it. It was Makoto. He came to find me one night when I wouldn’t answer my phone,” she said quietly. “It was so hard for him. I was… with… my ‘boyfriend’ and his friends. They were taking turns.” Her beautiful face contorted into anger. “But… when he showed up and tried to stand up to them…”

               “Tried to?” Sousuke asked. He was horrified with what Haru was telling him. He could imagine it and it made him feel sick.

               “He had a panic attack,” Haru hummed. “But then, all the guys started making fun of him and I just… snapped. I just attacked my boyfriend. Like, full on attacked. With a knife. Protected Makoto.” Her voice cracked a little, like thinking back about these things was still hard.

               “Y-you don’t have to continue,” Sousuke breathed staring up at her. Her shoulders were trembling but she took a deep breath and shook her head.

               “The police were called, of course,” Haru said. Then she smiled a little bit. “But the scene was definitely in our favor. Makoto was shaking, barely holding it together, and I was bruised and covered in, well… It looked like they had raped me. I was dressed as a girl, had a school skirt on and everything. So even though I was still holding the knife, they were the ones arrested. I don’t even remember where I got the knife.”

               “Bastards deserved it,” Sousuke growled.

               Haru smiled. “Yes, they did. But realizing that Makoto needed me…” she murmured, looking down. “It got me to stop what I had been doing. It was hard. God it was hard. I still hated myself. I hated having sex. I hated my body. But for Makoto… I would try.”

               Sousuke gazed at her. His heart was aching again but for a completely different reason. To have that sort of love… it sounded amazing. Something that he wanted. That he somehow knew he could never have. This amazing woman before him already loved Makoto. He could see it in how she spoke, even as she revealed a horrible past – the hell Rin had mentioned – the love for him was obvious.

               “You’re overthinking again aren’t you?” she asked and Sousuke blinked. “The _point_ of the story I guess wasn’t to make you feel bad about that. It’s in the past. But I want you to know I understand.”

               “Understand what?” he asked stupidly.

               Haru huffed softly but her expression was gentle. “How _hard_ it is to get out of a toxic relationship.”

               Sousuke swallowed. Oh yeah, that’s what they had been talking about.

               “When we first started dating,” he began, willing himself to keep talking even if he felt panic rising inside him, “Himari was wonderful. She really was… it was. Perfect. Too perfect.”

               Haru hummed and went back to carding through his hair. It steadied him a little. He had never been with someone like her. She felt so deeply, that was obvious. Even if she hid it behind a deadpan face.

               “And it started slowly,” he continued. “I didn’t even notice. It was. Was little things. And when I tried to bring it up she just said I was imagining things, that she hadn’t really done that or said that.” He was having trouble breathing now and pressed his hand against Haru’s hip. She shifted forward so her thigh was pressed against his side and he rested his hand on her leg. She was warm against him. He took a deep breath then continued. “By the time it had elevated to… to p-physical things, I felt like it was too late to leave. No one was going to believe that _I_ was being abused by a woman. A woman practically half my size.”

               Haru growled and took his hand, intertwining their fingers together. Holding it tightly.

               “It sounds so stupid –”

               “It’s not,” she said before he could continue.

               “You don’t even know what I was going to say,” Sousuke said, nonplused.

               Haru slowly shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. It’s not stupid.”

               Sousuke smiled slightly at her. “Okay. Well… I don’t think I ever… came with her, whenever we had sex.”

               Haru’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

               “Half the time she didn’t let me,” he admitted. “I… I always had issues getting hard. B-but… not with you.” Sousuke flushed lightly and was glad the room was dark so she couldn’t see it.

               “Well of course,” she said. “I’m amazing.”

               “So humble,” Sousuke said with a small grin.

               “I also cared about you enjoying it,” she said, her voice going soft again.

               “Oh I did,” Sousuke admitted. She gazed down at him and squeezed his hand; he squeezed back. Then she leaned down and kissed him. He lifted his hand off her thigh and up to her head, sliding his fingers into her long black locks, pulling her down. The kiss was amazing. Deep and intimate. A strong shiver ran down his spine and down to his gut as Haru nipped playfully at his lip.

               Finally she pulled back. “You should sleep,” she murmured. “It’s late… Today’s been exhausting hasn’t it?”

               “We aren’t going to…?” Sousuke asked.

             Haru shook her head. “I want to and I know you want to. But I don’t think it’d be a good idea…” She tugged her dress up, though, and pulled it over her head. Sousuke’s eyebrows rose. “I’m not sleeping in that. Don’t worry, though. We’ll catch you up on orgasms.”

               Sousuke choked on his tongue at that, staring at her. But all she did was slide under the covers with him only in her underwear and laid close. Sousuke was surprised she wasn’t going to go back to Makoto but he wasn’t sad. He was even elated. He shuffled around, causing Haru to poke him and grumble but didn’t stop him when he tentatively rested his head on her chest.

               He fell asleep quickly, listening to her heartbeat and feeling her breathe under him.

 

-

 

               “Haruuuuuuuu. Sousukeeeee.”

               Sousuke stirred slowly at the soft voice, not totally sure why he felt so warm and comfortable and peaceful. “H-huh?” he mumbled as he stretched slowly. The small ball beside him under the blankets grumbled and curled tighter.

               “Makoto?” Sousuke asked blearily, rubbing his eyes. The brunet was sticking his head into the room, eyes wide.

               “I’m hungry,” Makoto lamented.

               Sousuke burst out laughing, hard and unrestrained, because he just couldn’t believe this. It was like some weird dream where he and Haru were the parents and Makoto was their child. He really hadn’t noticed that Haru made food for Makoto pretty much every meal. Couldn’t she just try to teach him how to cook?

               Makoto’s face fell comically.

               “Talk to your girlfriend,” Sousuke wheezed as he held his stomach, trying to stop laughing. He looked over at the lump beside him and shook her shoulder.

               “Go away,” Haru said. “I don’t have work. I can sleep.”

               “Your cooking-challenged boyfriend is hungry,” Sousuke said with a teasing look over at Makoto. The brunet had pushed the door open fully and was now leaning against the doorframe.

               “Ugh,” Haru grumbled and sat up slowly. Sousuke was overcome with another wave of laughter when she did so because her hair was sticking up with a shocking amount of volume. She kept grumbling as she crawled out of bed and wandered towards her boyfriend. She tried going passed him and into the kitchen but Makoto caught her around the waist.

               “Don’t cook shirtless. Put on a bra at least,” he said and tipped her chin up to kiss her.

               “Jeez, get a room,” Sousuke joked.

               “I plan too. After I feed needy,” Haru purred. She pulled away from Makoto and slapped his ass, hard enough to make her boyfriend jump then sauntered off back to their bedroom. Leaving the two men looking at each other.

               “How’re you feeling?” Makoto asked more seriously.

               Sousuke scratched the back of his head as he tried to figure that out. He thought he was doing alright. He rubbed again at his face then hissed as he rubbed his swollen eye.

               “You should put some ice on it,” the brunet said with a sympathetic look.

               “I’ll be fine,” Sousuke said through a yawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please comment! 
> 
> I have a [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ottersfic)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke enjoys a little face sitting and see's just how fast Haru can swim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS.  
> CHAPTER 5. Longer to make up for last chapters 'shortness'.
> 
> Fluff and smut. Nothing to warn about in this one. I like to give you guys breaks.

Sousuke was easily getting into a rhythm with his new job. He usually worked in the mornings, which meant he was leaving when Makoto was. Haru would wave them off like some weird threesome ‘50’s family with the ‘have a good day at work dear’. Except Haru would never say something like that, Sousuke wasn’t _technically_ her (second) boyfriend, and there were no kids to take to school.

               It was a weird thought he had, when Haru would pull Makoto down for a kiss. Like he wouldn’t actually mind something like that. Domestic. He could be Haru’s boyfriend. He would. If she asked. He didn’t know the etiquette with this type of thing, how would you even approach that? As far as he knew, none of her fuck buddies were actually boyfriends.

               The dog café was a lively place to work. The dogs were all well behaved – they had to be, to be around food – and all up for adoption. Sousuke had told both Makoto and Haru that they should come by sometime when he had settled in more. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of his new friends at a new job. Rin had already come by though – forgetting totally about his coffee in favor of the dogs who seemed to love him.

               His coworkers were cool as well. For the most part. There was Okumura, a sixteen-year-old girl from a nearby prep high-school with large circle glasses; a tall woman – nearly as tall as himself – with short cropped and dyed hair named Ikehara; Tokuda, a nerdy 20something with an obsession with K-pop groups – both men and women’s – Sousuke guessed he might be a little gay; and then there was Josh Beecher. Josh (he insisted that Sousuke call him by his first name) was a ridiculously gangly college kid from America with shocking red hair and covered in freckles. He was one of _those_ Americans who idolized Japan and wanted to have a cute Japanese girlfriend. Both Sousuke and Ikehara had started to watch out for the high school girls who came into the café from Josh and had asked Miss Fujiwara, the owner, to not schedule Okumura with him.

               Josh wasn’t a creep, per say. He was just _a lot_ and often ignored Japanese social cues and traditions. He was big on hugging, which had gotten him pushed into the trashcan the first time he tried to do so with Sousuke. His obsession with anime and anime girls sometimes made Sousuke uncomfortable but Josh rarely bothered him. He would usually just talk anime at him and gush over the cute girls walking by. Sousuke could deal with him.

               Rin, Makoto and Haru seemed incredibly amused whenever Sousuke talked about Josh because he would always update them on the newest weirdness the guy had pulled at the café. Rin hadn’t met him yet but he definitely wanted to.

               But overall, it was a good job that paid surprisingly well and got him out of the apartment and making money. He was paying Haru and Makoto back by buying groceries since he had bummed food off of them for at least two weeks.

 

               Not everything in the apartment was calm though. After being fired, Haru was acting strange. Well, stranger than normal anyway. She was either in the bath or in the kitchen nowadays and would kick them both out when one of them wandered in.

               Sousuke knew that she went out during the day when both of them were at work because whenever he returned there would be groceries everywhere. Several times he had tripped over bags in the middle of the night getting water.

               Haru was cooking obsessively now. As if not being able to cook at work was piling up and she had to make up for it. She wouldn’t tell Sousuke or Makoto why she was cooking so much but it was getting out of hand. She forced food into Rin’s hands one time he was hanging out, enough that he dropped one of the plates on the way out. She made Makoto and Sousuke take food to work (much to the excitement of both of their coworkers).

               She even called Kisumi over – the first time Sousuke had met the pink haired male – only to make him try something new she had made and load him up. When he leaned in to kiss her, maybe sweep her off her feet to go to the bedroom she caught his face with a hand and pushed him away.

               “She’s never said no before!” Kisumi wailed, an arm looped around Makoto’s shoulders.

               “I’m a bit concerned,” the brunet admitted. He didn’t seem to care that Kisumi was hanging him off so dramatically. “She’s said no to me too. I don’t think we’ve had sex in at least a week, maybe two.” They both looked at Sousuke questionably.

               “Don’t look at me, we haven’t done anything,” Sousuke said raising his hands.

               Kisumi untangled himself from Makoto and pushed his shockingly pink hair from his face. “It’s like she’s possessed! Maybe we should exorcise her,” he said. He let out a yelp as a potato bounced off his head and all three of them looked over into the kitchen to see her glaring at all three of them, another potato in her hand.

               They all fled the apartment for fear of more flying vegetables.

 

               Makoto couldn’t stop giggling as they supported Kisumi between them. Sousuke was trying his best to not join in but it was really hard – everything was really funny. Maybe it was the drinks they had at the first bar… or maybe it was the shots they had at the _fourth_. Kisumi was half conscious between them, mumbling something with a lazy grin on his face.

               “Haruuuu, we’re hoooome,” Makoto sing-sang as they tumbled through the door after Sousuke _finally_ was able to unlock it. They stumbled into the living room and dumped Kisumi onto the couch, who then rolled over and hugged a pillow to his chest. “Haruuu!”

               “What, what?” Haru asked as she came out of the bedroom, looking grumpy and wearing just her underwear. She scratched the back of her head and stopped at the sight of them.

               “Haru I love you!” Makoto said as he came over to her, wrapping her up into his arms so that she was hidden from Sousuke’s view. She wheezed as he squeezed her.

               “M-Makoto, too tight!” Haru yelped and Sousuke dragged Makoto off her. “Are… are you guys drunk?”

               “Maybe a l’il bit,” Sousuke said as Makoto started running his fingers through Haru’s hair and nuzzling against her, arm wrapped around her naked waist.

               Haru scowled but she seemed to be smiling a little.

               “Sorry,” Makoto slurred against her ear. “You kicked us ooouuuuut.”

               “I see Kisumi is, ah, unconscious,” she said, trying to push her boyfriend off. “Makoto you need to go to bed.”

               “Pffft lightweight,” Sousuke said and swayed, nearly falling backwards as the back of his thigh knocked the couch. He sat down on the arm of it quickly. Haru’s eyebrow raised a little as she took him in then guided her boyfriend to the bedroom gently, leaving him alone. He could hear Makoto whining to her but couldn’t understand what was being said.

               Sousuke grumbled and shed his jacket, dropping it onto Kisumi. The other male wiggled around a little then fell still again, now fast asleep.

               “You drunk too?” Haru had appeared again.

               “Where’s Makoto?” Sousuke asked as she stood in front of him.

               “Asleep. He can’t really hold his liquor, best to get him to bed,” Haru said with a shrug. She gave him a piercing look and he glanced to the side then back at her questioningly. “You don’t look too drunk.”

               “Higher tolerance,” Sousuke replied. “Still drunk.”

               Something in her gaze softened when he said that, as if she knew _why_ he had a high tolerance. She took his hand and pulled him to his feet. The world spun a little bit and he swayed but didn’t collapse like Kisumi had done earlier that night, so he called it a win. Without thinking he slid his arm around her shoulders.

               “Makoto really loves you, y’know,” Sousuke murmured as she walked him to his room, seemingly fine with his arm heavy around her lithe frame. It seemed all of them were throwing themselves at her tonight. She looked at him and cocked her head to the side.

               “Yes, I do know,” she replied with a soft chuckle. “Did you talk about me?”

               Sousuke nodded and pulled his arm away as they entered his room. Ran it down her back instead, all the way down until he reached her ass, and gave it a playful squeeze. She pushed him away although she was grinning now. He stepped back and let his momentum send him toppling down onto his back on the bed with a soft ‘oof’.

              Haru snorted and came over to his bed, sitting down next to him as he blearily stared up at her. A crooked grin across his mouth.

               “You’re… beautiful,” Sousuke said and ran his hand up her stomach slowly. She allowed him to cup her beautiful, perfect breast and her breath actually hitched when he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

               “Yeah I worked hard for this,” Haru said with her usual deadpan expression. He slowly pushed himself to a sitting position and tugged his shirt off over his head before sliding an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. He stared at her and she stared back, lips slightly parted.

               “Your eyes are like the ocean,” Sousuke rumbled, splaying his hand against her lower back. She just blinked at him as if waiting to see what he would do. So he kissed her, diving into those soft lips, causing her to gasp. It took no time for her to kiss back though, running a hand down his arm, squeezing his bicep.

               Finally he surfaced when he was feeling lightheaded – but that might have been the alcohol – and gazed down at her again. He could see a soft pink dusting her cheeks and he grinned at her. She pushed him down playfully and reached over him to turn his lamp light off.

               Her breasts hung above him as the room was plunged into darkness, as if she was inviting him to do something to them. So he leaned up just a little and captured one of her nipples between his lips, a hand coming back to press gently on her back.

               Haru let out a soft whine as he sucked on it, arms shaking as she held herself up over him. His other hand came up and massaged her other breast.

               “S-Sousuke,” she gasped out, back arching to press her chest further into his range. “Ah!” Her voice pitched higher as he rolled her nipple between his teeth and he relished in her keen. Like music to his ears. He finally pulled off after abusing her nipple, only to dive right for the other one. He felt himself stir in his pants but knew himself well enough that he wouldn’t be able to get even half hard in his drunken state, but he found that he didn’t care in the slightest. He just wanted to touch Haru.

               She pulled away from him and he grumbled, trying to pull her back to him but she stopped him with hands on his chest. Sousuke huffed, tugging her but without any real strength to it. If she didn’t want to do anything of course he wouldn’t force her, even drunk. He’d never do anything like that to her. But she wasn’t pulling all the way away or leaving him alone so that must count for something.

               “Sousuke,” Haru started.

               “Hm?” he replied. He was running his hand up and down her back and the feeling of her skin under his fingers was rather hypnotic. He could just do that all night long.

               “Can we do something?” she asked quietly and he knew she was looking down from where she was sitting, even if he couldn’t see her.

               He nodded before he realized she probably couldn’t see him either in the dark. “Yeah.” His voice came out hoarse and breathy and he heard Haru chuckle softly. But then she fell silent and he thought she was taking slow, deep breaths. That’s what it felt like, with his hand still on her. “Haru?”

               “You probably can’t get hard right now…” she commented.

               “…so mean,” Sousuke interrupted and she slapped him lightly on the chest. “Oof. Continue.”

               “But…” Sousuke didn’t know if he had ever heard her sound so hesitant. “…Could I…sit on your face?”

               God if he hadn’t been drunk – or at least tipsy – he would have gotten so hard in record time. He definitely felt _something_ down there. Because _that image_. That got him going.

               “Sorry, too soon,” she said in a hurry and started to pull away. She was talking about Himari, wasn’t she? Sure it hadn’t been _that_ long, but that didn’t matter. He so didn’t care about her right now. All he cared about was Haru and how fucking nervous she sounded, asking something she had probably gotten from many other people. He didn’t even care that he probably wouldn’t measure up to her other lovers especially Makoto – who knew all of her spots and preferences.

               “God, _please_ sit on my face,” Sousuke growled out, finding her thigh and giving it a strong squeeze.

               Haru was silent for a second and then he could feel her body shaking. At first he thought she was crying until he heard her soft wheeze and realized she was _laughing_. Hard. Holding it down, probably for the two other drunkards in the other rooms, but laughing none-the-less.

               “O-okay,” she said, breathless from her giggle-fit. She pulled from his grip, disappearing from the bed momentarily only to rejoin him. He felt her lean down, her hair sliding across his skin, and kiss him. He kissed her back, hard, passionate, sloppy. She let out a soft groan as he nibbled her lip, his hand finding her breast again.

               But then Haru was moving again, straddling his chest, then was shifting up and he could feel her knees on either side of his head and he could smell her. Sousuke let out a moan, sliding his hands up her thighs to her hips and pulled her down.

               “S-Sou!” she gasped out loudly at that first swipe of his tongue. He wrapped his arms around her thighs until he could use his hands to spread her lower lips, giving himself more access. She whimpered as he started to lap at the sensitive folds, groaning at the taste of her. She was so wet again, now on his mouth, and God he could get used to this. This pressure on his body, the feeling of one hand in his hair – the other braced against the wall for support.

               Haru’s back arched a little as he lapped further into her pussy, pressing his tongue inside, swallowing hard. She tasted so sharp, so tangy, so _perfect_ ; his head was spinning.

               “Ah!” she gasped out as he changed back to licking at her lips. Then he licked his way up to her clit, circling it before pressing his tongue flat against the sensitive nub. Haru doubled over, arm now resting on the bed, letting out whimpering moans. He paused, then gave it a gentle suck. She shuddered hard, hips canting against his face. “Yes!”

               Grinning, Sousuke redoubled his efforts, sucking on her clit. It was a little difficult, but he finally got one hand back under her and slid two fingers deep inside her cunt, pressing them up inside her as he lavished attention onto her clit.

               Haru was crying out loudly now, seemingly unable to restrain her moans, hips thrusting down onto his fingers and tongue.

               Sousuke pulled his mouth off her momentarily although kept his fingers buried inside her, letting her rock against them as he mouthed at her inner thighs. He gave one a swift nip and she yelped. Sousuke felt himself freeze, his entire body going cold at the sound, but when no harsh words reached his ears or fingers tugging painfully at his hair, he realized she didn’t dislike it.

               So he started sucking and kissing at the skin there, just a bit away from the junction of her hip. The skin there was impossibly soft and was just so tempting to bite, so he did so again and she moaned loud, grinding down onto his fingers. He sucked against her skin, hard, hard enough that he was sure there’d be a mark, until she whined and tugged gently at his hair, wiggling her hips a little.

               She obviously wanted his mouth elsewhere, so he obliged her, going back to licking and sucking at her clit. Soon she was a moaning mess above him as more slick coated his mouth and chin. Sousuke didn’t care in the slightest – actually loved the taste and how it seemed to be positively dripping from her as he continued.

               Sousuke removed his fingers in favor of gripping her thighs tighter and pulled her down so she was grinding onto his mouth and tongue.

               “Ah! Ah! S-Sousuke! Don’t stop!” she gasped out, continuing to cant her hips as he ate her out completely. And soon she was coming on his tongue, long and hard, her thighs jumping and twitching.

               Haru pulled off him and rolled, boneless, to the side onto the bed. Sousuke wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he listened to her pant. Finally she stirred beside him and he could feel her long hair tickling his chest. She must have sat up again.

               “You’re… really good at that,” she said still breathless.

               He grinned into the darkness. When she said it, he felt pride blossom inside him. Pleasure. Desire. So unlike when Himari would… praise, if that was the right word… his oral skills. He rolled onto his side and pressed his face against her thigh. “Glad I measured up.”

               She smacked him lightly on his right shoulder, a soft love-tap that did nothing to aggravate his injury. “Stop doing that,” she huffed out.

               “Doing what?” he mumbled against her skin.

               “Comparing yourself,” she replied as her fingers found his hair and started to card through it.

               Sousuke was quiet for a long time, thinking. He did seem to do that a lot but he hadn’t really noticed. Haru had though, apparently, and she didn’t seem to like it. He didn’t really know what to say, his drunk and exhausted brain lagging, so he simply nuzzled against her leg. She huffed again but didn’t stop touching his hair and he soon found himself drifting off to sleep.

               When he woke up in the middle of the night, dry mouth plaguing him, he found she was gone but a glass of water was sitting on his bedside table. He smiled to himself and after downing the entire thing fell back to sleep. No nightmares in his dreams.

 

-

 

               “Can you still swim with this?” Haru asked, giving his shoulder a tap before draping herself over his back where he had been hunched over his phone. Sousuke really needed to fix his posture because he knew that it wasn’t good for him, but he just found he fell into that position. He had been scrolling through Twitter and Facebook. Several friends from college were getting married. One had just gotten back from her trip across Europe.

               “Yeah,” he told her as he set his phone down. He straightened up in his chair a little, forcing her to move back so she could keep her arms draped around his neck and shoulders. “Just not competitively. But I can still swim.”

               “I know that look,” Makoto chimed in, watching them, smiling, and Haru straightened up to give him a small glare. He just beamed at the raven-haired woman. “Shall I message Rin?”

               “I suppose,” Haru said but when Sousuke looked at her she seemed to have this strange glint in her eyes that he had only seen there while she was cooking. He looked back at the brunet. He had already grabbed his phone.

               “I’m guessing we’re going swimming?” he asked.

               “I haven’t seen you swim. Let’s see how you measure up,” Haru declared.

               “I could keep up with Rin when we were younger, I think I can beat you,” Sousuke said with a smirk. Haru huffed and twirled around, heading off to the bedroom.

               “You’re in for it now,” Makoto hummed with a grin. Sousuke looked over at him and raised his eyebrow questioningly. “She’s not usually into racing all that much but I think you rubbed her the wrong way. Be prepared to go all out. Well. As all out as you can without hurting yourself. She’d be pissed if you hurt yourself.”

               Rin met them at the pool. Sousuke hadn’t realized that there was a pool so close by with Olympic length lanes until Haru drove them there. Makoto had made them take the car, claiming that it would be too cold to walk back after swimming even though it was only 20 minutes away on foot. He stared around, impressed, before joining Rin and Makoto in the men’s locker rooms to change. He still had his legskins, even if he hadn’t worn them in ages – Himari had despised swimming and hadn’t ‘let him’ do so.

               “Think you can keep up?” Rin teased him as they exited. “You’re a little rusty.”

               “Shut up,” Sousuke replied playfully.

               Makoto only chuckled.

               “What stroke did you swim, Makoto?” the jet-haired male asked curiously, cocking his head to the side. He knew that Rin swam free and butterfly, but that was only because he had spent many years swimming beside him. Makoto, however, was a mystery. So was Haru, come to think of it. He hadn’t thought to ask her what stroke she swam.

               “Backstroke,” Makoto said cheerfully. “I prefer to look up.”

               Rin nudged his side. “This guy used to be scared of swimming,” he said. The redhead seemed to be in a really good mood – probably because they were swimming – because he was in full-on tease mode. It seemed even Makoto wasn’t safe from his teasing. The brunet spluttered, a bright flush coloring his cheeks.

               “You’re such a jerk, Rin!” he said.

               It was Sousuke’s turn to chuckle as they walked to the lap-lane side of the pool, where they would undoubtedly meet Haru. He hadn’t seen her yet. He allowed himself to imagine her in a two piece, maybe one with frills, drawing the eyes of all the men in the pool even if he was 90% sure that she would _not_ be one of those girls.

               Makoto got stopped as they entered the lap-lane section by several kids. They rushed up to him (parents yelling at them to stop running) and swarmed his legs, chattering loudly. Makoto beamed at them, allowing them to tell him about their newest accomplishments before their parents came over. They were able to pull their kids away after some pleasantries with Makoto.

               “Students of yours?” Sousuke asked.

               The brunet nodded, smiling.

               “Makoto is so popular,” Rin said wistfully, looping an arm around the green-eyed man’s shoulders.

               “They’re kids, Rin,” he replied.

               “Where’s Haru?” Sousuke finally asked as they dropped their towels, coming to the edge of the pool.

               “Probably already swimming,” Rin said, scanning the pool for the woman. “She’s impatient when it comes to swimming.”

               “I don’t see her,” Makoto hummed. “Oh, there she is!”

               Sousuke turned to see her coming into the pool. He was slightly disappointed to see that she _wasn’t_ wearing a bikini but kneeskins. They still looked good on her. Her hair was still down even though she held her goggles and swim cap in one hand, towel in the other.

               He opened his mouth to say hi, maybe compliment her, but she ignored all three men completely as she dropped her stuff and dove straight into the water.

               “Haruuuu at least put your hair up!” Makoto wailed maybe a little louder than necessary, causing several people to look at them curiously.

               Rin was holding onto Sousuke laughing. At Makoto or Haru, Sousuke didn’t know and he didn’t care. He had been stunned at her dive. It had been, well, beautiful. Natural and perfect by all accounts.

               Finally she came drifting back to them and flicked her head, getting a strand of hair out of her eyes as she looked up at the three of them. Makoto leaned down and offered her his hand, which she took immediately, allowing him to pull her from the pool. It seemed like a practiced motion, as if they had been doing that for years. Maybe they had.

               “You’re going to strangle yourself one of these days,” Rin joked as she grabbed her cap and goggles off the floor. “With all that hair. You should cut it.”

               “Don’t touch my hair,” she said with a glare.

               “That was a perfect dive, Haru,” Sousuke said. She looked over at him and her eyes softened as she smiled.

               “You shouldn’t swim with it down,” Makoto said fussily and the other two men watched with amusement as he snagged the hair tie from her wrist and expertly braided her hair.

               “Thanks honey,” Haru said, overly sugary like she was making fun of him, and kissed him on the cheek. He flushed and looked away.

               “Are we gonna swim or not?” Rin asked, pulling his swim cap on. “I’m beating you this time, Haru.”

               Sousuke was shocked. Was Haru really that good? She had said that long ago Rin had told her she could swim professionally, so maybe she was. But for someone to be faster than _Rin_ , who could easily get onto an Olympic team if he half-assed it, was saying he would beat her _this time_ , then she must be good. Really good.

               “Sure,” she replied flatly as she wound her braid onto the back of her head and pulled her cap on as well. Rin, one to never change tradition, snapped the back of his goggles before fixing them in place. Haru shook her head gently as she did the same.

               “Makoto, call it,” Rin said as they stepped up to the blocks.

               “You should watch this,” Makoto said to Sousuke. “I think you’ll be impressed.” He nodded. He was definitely going to watch. “Take your marks…Go!”

               Immediately the two rocketed off the blocks and Sousuke found his mouth falling open. Rin’s dive was technically stronger, hitting the water further out that Haru did, but her dolphin kick was strong and as they surfaced they were already neck and neck.

               “Holy shit,” Sousuke said as he stared at the two. Rin was the fastest swimmer he knew and Haru was giving him a run for his money. She looked so natural in the water, powerful, like some mystical creature – a mermaid or siren – unbound by human laws and hydrodynamics. They both cut through the water fast and unrestrained, hitting the turn at the same exact time.

               A quick glance told Sousuke that they were now being watched by at least half the other patrons of the pool. Makoto moved to the head of the lanes, crouching down as they bore down on them, kicks still just as strong and determined, if not more, as when they started.

               People actually cheered when both of their hands slammed hard against the wall of the pool and they surfaced, panting hard.

               “Tied,” Makoto said.

               Rin groaned as he pulled his cap and goggles off. “One of these days, Haru,” he said. Haru just pulled her goggles down around her neck and looked at them, uncaring or oblivious of the crowd they had gained in their casual race, expression just as blank as usual.

               Makoto helped them both out of the pool and Rin immediately looped his arm around her slender shoulder, dragging her closer.

               “That… was amazing,” Sousuke said, finally finding his tongue. He didn’t know if he’d ever seen something so impressive. She looked over at him and her lips curved into a small smile.

               “Surprised?” Rin asked, giving her a small shake.

               “Yes,” he admitted. “Didn’t think someone could actually beat you.”

               Haru pushed Rin off her shoulders. “Racing is his thing. I do it because he’s whiny.”

               “Do you swim any other strokes?” Sousuke asked curiously.

               The intensity she had in her eyes when she said, “I only swim free” was both shocking and arousing and he had the sudden need to get into the water too.

               “Let’s race, Rin,” he said, looking at his best friend. The redhead nodded with a grin.

               It felt like the whole time they were swimming they had a small crowd of other swimmers watching them, as if they thought they were a group of Olympians training on an off day. At least Rin and Haru looked the part. Sousuke found he was a bit rusty but was able to hold his own against his best friend as they raced butterfly.

               Racing against Haru was another story. She absolutely obliterated both he and Makoto when they raced against her swimming free (she really wouldn’t swim any other stroke even though Rin told him she was capable of doing them), it didn’t even seem fair.

               The entire time she ignored the people watching and sometimes cheering in favor of the water and her friends and boyfriend. Finally the men left her drifting to sit on the edge, breathless and tired, as she floated on her back. Her hair was once more free of the braid, floating around her face and shoulders as she drifted serenely, eyes closed.

               “She’s… really good,” Sousuke said after catching his breath. She had incredible stamina – something he already knew – and she alone seemed unaffected by their races. “Why doesn’t she try for the Olympics? I’m sure she could get in.”

               Makoto watched her, his eyes sad. She was halfway across the pool now.

               “She couldn’t. The Japanese team doesn’t allow trans people to compete,” Rin answered when it became obvious Makoto wasn’t going to speak. “Plus, you heard her. She’s not _really_ into racing. She just likes swimming.”

               “She races with us because she loves us,” Makoto finally said.

               “Whenever you’re together you talk about me.”

               Unnoticed by all three of them, Haru had swum back to where they sat legs in the pool. She drifted closer, having sunk back down until only her eyes were above the water. Her hair swirled around her in an ethereal way and Sousuke had the sudden, irrational thought that she would drag all three of them under and eat them.

               If she somehow turned out to be a mermaid he wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest.

               “You’re just so interesting, Haru,” Rin said and nudged her with his foot. She latched onto it and with one solid tug dragged him into the pool. He let out a loud yelp before his head went under. Haru smirked behind her hair as he came up spluttering and glared at her.

               Sousuke and Makoto laughed at the two of them as they got into an energetic – bordering on violent – water fight, pushing each other under and splashing each other. Sousuke was dragged in, literally, by Rin and soon enough all four were involved. They had to stop after a life guard came by, saying they were disturbing the other swimmers, but they were all left breathless and a little giggly as they finally left the pool.

               Makoto had had to literally drag Haru from the pool, making her promise she’d actually go change and not sneak back once they went into the locker rooms because _the pool was closing and they had to leave_. She grumbled but did as he asked because she joined them in the lobby, hair now in a messy bun on the top of her head.

               They said goodbye to Rin and all headed back to the apartment. Sousuke couldn’t help but think that the day had been, well, perfect. Absolutely and unequivocally perfect. He stared out the car window, smiling to himself, as Makoto and Haru bickered good naturedly in the front seats, feeling at peace with the world for the first time in possibly his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please comment!
> 
> I have a [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ottersfic).


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was dark outside when he got out, maybe it had been dark the whole time. Maybe it was always dark for the two asleep in the other room, the only light they had being each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! New chapter (3 days instead of 4, but I'm just so excited to share this). I'm actually really proud of this chapter - I have some good sentences and words in it that I don't even know how I was the one to write it! 
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: mentions of past suicide attempt, mentions of past self harm

“Where are you?”

               Sousuke was jolted from his nap stretched out on the couch by Haru’s voice. It was high-pitched, strained, and he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes, to look at her. She was standing frozen, straight backed and stiff, in the doorway to the kitchen. She was gripping her phone tightly and her fingers as white as her face.

               He got up and padded over to her.

               “Where on campus?” she asked, completely ignoring Sousuke. “Okay. Okay.” He couldn’t totally hear what was going on, on the other side of the phone but he thought it sounded like Kisumi. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Stay with him.”

               Then Haru ended the call, dropping her hand to the side. She took a deep, steadying breath and finally blinked up at Sousuke.

               “Are you okay?” he asked carefully.

               “Makoto needs me,” she said as an answer.

               “Oh. Do you want me to come along?” Sousuke asked. He didn’t know what was going on but it must be bad if she looked so shaken and distressed. He wanted to offer support. If she needed it.

               “No.” And she pushed passed him, long skirts flowing around her ankles as she grabbed her keys and left the apartment. Sousuke was left staring after her, eyes a little wide.

               He slowly walked back to the couch and sat down, staring blankly across the room at the window. He could see the tops of the pine trees in the park by the apartment complex but he wasn’t really seeing it. He really didn’t know much about the two people he lived with, did he? He didn’t know what was happening with Makoto, that he needed Haru to rush to his side. The man seemed pretty self-sufficient. A calm, patient man who wasn’t rattled by much of anything unless it had to do with his girlfriend. But apparently, he wasn’t.

               Sousuke leaned against the couch and dropped his head onto the back of it, taking a deep breath. He could ask Rin, he supposed. He was sure his best friend would know. It seemed his best friend knew _everything_. About his roommates and about himself; a little unnerving if he really thought about it. But that seemed like it would be breaking confidence with both Makoto and Haru, asking a third party. So he did nothing, continuing to sit there, staring up at the ceiling, mind racing.

               To try and shut it up, he grabbed his phone and opened Twitter, scrolling down. Reading articles. Anything to stop himself from worrying or overthinking. He wasn’t like Haru, who could apparently just empty herself of thoughts just by thinking of water. He had to actually _do_ something with himself.

               It wasn’t long until he heard keys in the lock and the door was being pushed open. Sousuke lowered his phone as he listened to the shuffling and soft murmuring voices. It sounded like three people. So who else, besides Makoto and Haru, had come along?

               The teal-eyed man didn’t move as the three people came into the living room. Haru had her hand resting on Makoto’s arm but otherwise wasn’t touching him, Kisumi two steps behind them, large violet eyes filled with concern.

               “Are you guys alright?” Sousuke asked.

               “F-fine,” Makoto said although his voice shook and he was keeping his eyes on the ground. He seemed to sway as he walked, breathing a bit too fast, a bit too shallow.

               “Come on,” Haru murmured and gently led him back into the bedroom by his elbow.

               Sousuke couldn’t help it; he felt ignored. And out of the loop. Haru had ignored him earlier, declining his offer to help, and was ignoring him now, and he didn’t understand. It made his stomach twist because was she angry for some reason?

               Kisumi didn’t follow them back and instead came over to the couch. He opted to sit on the coffee table, hands loosely clasped between his knees, eyes on the hallway.

               “What happened?” Sousuke asked.

               “Ahhh,” the pink-haired man said with a loud sigh and scratched the back of his head, then leaned back on his hands. “Makoto had a panic attack.”

               Sousuke’s eyes widened in shock. Violet eyes flickered to his face and a rueful smile curled his lips.

               “I know, he doesn’t seem like someone who would, right?” Kisumi asked him, squinting his fox-like eyes as he observed Sousuke. He kind of felt like he was being x-rayed. Haru wasn’t the only one who seemed unearthly; Kisumi had a similar feeling sometimes, like a kitsune in its human form. “I just wanted to talk to him about Haya – my little brother,” he interjected at Sousuke’s blank expression, “because he wants to do more swimming and I can’t really help with that. But he’s been doing so well that I didn’t even think about it. He’d never been to the college before and I think it was a bit… too much.”

               They both looked around as they heard the bedroom door open, soft instrumental music reaching their ears, before it clicked closed once more. Haru appeared from the hallway looking strained. She came over to them and settled down onto the couch beside Sousuke. He reached out and set his hand on her leg and was glad she didn’t shake him off.

               “He’s asleep,” she told them both.

               “Kisumi said he had a panic attack?” Sousuke asked. Haru nodded and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

               “I’m sorry, Haru! It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have asked him to come to the university,” Kisumi said, obviously distressed. He reached forward and grabbed her hand, running his thumb across the top of it.

               “It’s not your fault, Kiss,” Haru murmured, keeping her eyes closed. “He should know when to say no.”

               “That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?” the dark-haired man asked curiously.

               Haru didn’t turn to look at him or open her eyes at all. “It’s not. But I know why he went. He thought he’d be fine…”

               “He’s been doing so well lately,” Kisumi chimed in.

               “Yes,” Haru replied. “For the most part.”

               “Can I ask… why it happened?” Sousuke asked slowly. He was scared to anger Haru, not sure how he’d feel if she really was mad at him.

               Both of the others sighed again but it was Haru who spoke. “Remember when I told you Makoto was scared of everything when he was little?” Sousuke nodded and gave her thigh a little squeeze. “He’s, well, he’s agoraphobic. At least mildly.”

               “And he works with _kids_?” Sousuke asked, shocked.

               Haru shook her head slowly and finally opened her eyes. “Children are fine.”

               “They don’t hold many expectations,” the pink-haired male pointed out. “Harder to feel embarrassed with all the things kids do.”

               Haru nodded in agreement and pulled her hand from Kisumi’s grip. “He’s been working too hard lately though. And I think his stress combined with the number of people at the university was too much.”

               “It was a little scary,” Kisumi admitted as Haru pulled away from Sousuke and walked away from them both, staring out of the window with her back to them, arms wrapped around herself. “I didn’t know what to do. That’s why I just…called Haru. I knew she’d know what to do.” She didn’t reply. “He nearly just… collapsed. Got really pale and started shaking. It’d been so long since I saw him like that. Wish I hadn’t panicked though.”

               “It’s okay,” Haru said still not facing them. The light from the setting sun shone off her dark hair. “It’s really not your fault. You called me and you stayed with him. That’s all you could’ve done.”

               The three of them fell silent. Finally, Kisumi stood up and stretched.

               “I guess I’ll leave you,” he said with a small, sad smile. He walked over to Haru and gave her a brief hug, which she didn’t return – she didn’t react at all – then gave Sousuke a small wave and left the apartment.

               Sousuke got up and walked to her. Gently turned her around to face him. He was startled to find that she was crying silently. Tears were slowly rolling down her cheeks and she wouldn’t meet his eye.

               “Haru? It’s… it’s okay. He’s home and safe. I’m sure after rest he’ll feel better,” Sousuke said lamely, hands resting on her shoulders.

               She leaned forward and pressed her face against his chest. She fit neatly under his chin. He took this as an okay to hug her and did so, sliding his arms around her and pulling her close. She let him do it and actually uncurled her arms to grip his shirt weakly.

               “I think I’m missing something,” Sousuke admitted.

               “S-seeing him like that,” she said shakily, “just s-scared me.”

               Sousuke rubbed her back gently.

               “He’s been so much b-better,” Haru stuttered. “He’s gotten. So much better. So s-sometimes I f-forget that he deals w-with that. I’m a h-horrible partner.”

               Sousuke took hold of her shoulders again and pushed her back so that he could see her face. Then he tipped her chin up, forcing her to face him. “Haru. Look at me.” It took a moment but eventually her eyes flickered to his. “You aren’t a horrible partner. You dropped everything to go to him when he needed you. It’s not your fault any more than it’s Kisumi’s fault. Things… things happen.” She stared at him, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

               The room was quiet as they stood there. Sousuke wrapped her up in his arms once more and let her cry even though he was dying to ask more questions. Why had she been so scared, seeing him like this? It must have brought things up from the past.

               “Would, would a bath help?” he finally suggested. She pulled back to watch him then nodded. Sousuke dropped his arms and followed her – because she didn’t say to not do so – down the hall. He paused as she opened the bedroom door because he didn’t want to wake Makoto up.

               “He won’t wake up easily,” Haru murmured as they walked towards the master bathroom. “His panic attack meds knock him out. He’ll sleep for a while. We just have to be quieter.”

               _God_ , Sousuke thought. _I know nothing about them_. It wasn’t like he made the habit of poking through other people’s things. He hadn’t known about Haru’s medication. He hadn’t known Makoto had some that he took at least on and off, as necessary. But he followed the young woman into the bathroom nonetheless and quietly shut the door behind them.

               It was a big space, bigger than his own. He looked around curiously, even at a time like this, maybe especially at a time like this. Because it gave him some insight. The bathroom was clean, with framed paintings on the walls. The bathtub was big, really big – no wonder Haru spent so long taking baths – and he saw a small dolphin sitting on the lip of it in the corner.

               “The paintings are pretty,” Sousuke hummed, looking at them as Haru started filling the tub. She glanced at him as she started to strip.

               “They’re mine,” she replied, pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it to the floor. Her skirt followed quickly.

               “ _You_ painted these?” Sousuke asked, turning to face her in surprise. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

               “English. I’m horrible at English,” she deadpanned, causing Sousuke to grin a little in spite of himself. He was so used to her without clothes that in a situation that wasn’t sexual he wasn’t really aroused, so as he watched her drop the rest of her clothes all he did was gaze at her. Appreciate her beautiful but nothing else. She looked at him. “Aren’t you joining me?”

               Sousuke blinked. “I can,” he said and Haru nodded. She ran her hand up her arm, rubbing it nervously as she looked away.

               “I don’t… want to be alone,” she breathed and Sousuke’s gaze softened and he nodded. He didn’t know if she was in danger of hurting herself or not… he didn’t think that was the case though, he just thought she was still shaken by Makoto’s panic attack. So he quickly undressed, dropping his clothes in a pile beside hers.

               The tub was easily big enough for both of them without being cramped. Haru settled on one side, Sousuke on the other, legs tangled together. She slowly sank down as he watched until she was up to her neck in the steaming water.

               “Why were you scared?” he asked her after a moment. He pulled her legs straight so they were across his lap and gently started running his hands up and down them. Rubbing the muscles and touching her soft skin. She felt silky under the water.

               Haru opened her eyes and stared at him, chewing her lip, and Sousuke thought she wouldn’t respond. She shifted, as if part of her wanted to pull away from Sousuke, but decided on staying put.

               “When we were… sixteen,” she started slowly and he could feel her shaking now. He continued to move his hands, massaging her calves. He briefly felt raised skin under his fingertips as he touched her thighs but didn’t look even if he wanted to. He was sure he would see scars there, scars he had somehow not noticed before that day she had cut herself, in all the times he had seen her nude or naked. But now was not the time to stare at them, so he pretended they weren’t there. “W-when things were. Bad.”

               “You had gotten away from you boyfriend by then, though, right?” Sousuke asked carefully, cocking his head to the side.

               Haru nodded. “I had gotten out of… that situation, yes,” she replied. “But I was still… dealing with everything. Without sex to help me cope. I was… not in a good place. M-maybe a worse place. I knew I had to take care of Makoto. I knew he needed me.”

               “That sounds…”

               “Codependent I know,” Haru finished for him, nodding. She took another deep breath and grabbed the small dolphin, pulling it into the water. It floated in front of her and she poked it absently. “He really did need me. But I was… checked out, half the time. Stuck in my head. Stuck in my wrong body.”

               Sousuke was amazed that she could tell him all of this. Usually she was very taciturn, a quiet woman hiding behind a blank, often expressionless face. But when they were alone like this, talking, it seemed she couldn’t stop. Like the words spilled out because she kept them inside every other time. He wondered if she was the same with Makoto. He bet she was.

               “Sounds… hard,” he commented after a long moment.

               Haru nodded, still staring at the floating dolphin. She pulled it underwater then released it, watching it pop back to the surface before speaking again. “I w-was there for him physically. I could h-hold him, comfort him, blow him. But emotionally? Mentally? I was checked out. I was doing horribly in school, my parents weren’t very happy, whenever they took enough time to find out.”

               She sighed shakily. She was still shaking under his hands. “I didn’t notice how bad it was for Mako,” she whispered. “How he was barely holding on. I think he… he was trying to hide it from me, too. To not burden me. He’s selfishly selfless like that.”

               Sousuke nodded. That seemed to fit with what he had learned about the brunet in the months living here.

               “I w-was cutting myself almost every day,” Haru choked out and he saw tears starting to roll down her cheeks again. “H-hiding it from Mako. Hiding it from my parents; that was easy, they were never around. But he w-was hiding things from me too. He would tell me he was with our f-friends but he had barricaded himself in his room. He’d lie and say he was sick when he would break down at school and go to the nurses office.”

               Sousuke winced. That sounded familiar. He had hidden his shoulder from Rin for so long, lying about scouts, lying about plans after school, because he didn’t want to upset his best friend. Only to upset him further. Rin had cried so much when he found out.

               “In the end it w-was m-m-my fault,” Haru said.

               “What was?” he asked her gently.

               Haru grabbed onto the dolphin and held it tightly in her hand as if it could anchor her here. Sousuke squeezed her legs.

               “I w-was wallowing one night. My parents had left again, off in another city doing work. So there I was, laying on the floor of my room. Wearing a dress Makoto had gotten me. Just cut myself… Staring at the ceiling. And he c-calls me.” She swallowed hard and part of Sousuke could easily see this. Young teen Haru, before going through everything to get her right body, staring into space. As if the whole world could end around her and she wouldn’t notice. And the ringing of a cellphone. Being ignored. “I didn’t pick it up.”

               “What happened?” he asked softly.

               “H-his parents were badgering him about University. His little twin siblings were fighting. And he lied about how he felt, saying again and again that he was fine and it… it just got to be too much,” Haru whispered. “He called me as he ran out of the house. And I didn’t pick up.”

               “You were… dealing with your own thing. Sometimes it’s okay to focus on yourself,” Sousuke said.

               She looked up from the dolphin toy, eyes over bright, tears spilling down her cheeks and into the bath water. “You don’t get it,” she whispered. “You… d-don’t get it. It had all become too much for him. And me not answering seemed to be the icing on the cake. It solidified, in his mind, that I _didn’t care about him_.”

               Sousuke swallowed, stomach suddenly dropping. Because he was having a creeping suspicion of what this was going to end with.

               “There w-was this… this cliff in Iwatobi. The guardrail wasn’t high, you could just climb over it to the edge. Up a-at the top, the view was beautiful. We had been up there before,” Haru said, her voice hollow and Sousuke knew where the story was going. “It had become too much, everything had, and he just wanted everything to stop. He wanted quiet. He messaged me ‘ _goodbye haru i love you_ ’ as he headed there.”

               Sousuke could just see Makoto, young, young like Haru. Crying as he ran up the hills of a small town by the sea, wanting everything to stop. Wanting the world to stop baring down on him, like it would swallow him up whole. Feeling all alone and his heart ached. He shifted in the bath and pulled Haru to him with some difficulty. She finally settled with her back to his chest and he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

               “The LINE tone got me. One of our friends had changed it to this _obnoxious_ sound-bite from an anime and it kind of…jolted me out of my stupor. I thought it was him with some stupid meme and I was going to send him a message telling him to leave me alone,” Haru said and gripped Sousuke’s arm tightly. The dolphin was still in one of her hands and it pressed against his arm, but he ignored it. “But when I saw that it was Makoto, and read the message I… I got so scared. B-because I knew w-what he was g-g-going to do and I knew where he was going.”

               Sousuke pressed his face against her neck, rubbing gentle shapes on her stomach. She was breathing hard now, heart pounding against her ribs and he could feel it deep inside him. Shaking him to the core.

               “I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t even p-put shoes on. H-h-he was on the edge when I got there,” Haru was absolutely sobbing now, choking and hiccupping on her words. Some of it was barely understandable but Sousuke listened as hard as he could. “H-he tried to jump as I was scrambling up. The tide was out and the rocks at the base of the cliff were really… jagged. People had jumped there before. I d-don’t know how I got to him, I just jumped forward and grabbed his arm.”

               “You saved him,” Sousuke murmured in her ear.

               “I nearly killed him,” Haru said. “It w-was m-m-my fault. All my fault.”

               “No it wasn’t,” he said firmly. She shook in his hold, doubled over, face nearly touching the water as she cried.

               “I-I just saw him today and… and it all came back to me,” she cried. “And I knew I had to be strong for him. H-had to get him h-h-home. Home is safe. T-this was my fault too! I should watch o-out for him more!”

               She sagged in Sousuke’s arms and he gently turned her so that he was cradling her, so she was sitting sideways in his lap. This was a bit cramped, a bit uncomfortable, but he didn’t care, and she didn’t seem to either, as she drew her legs up close and pressed her forehead against her knees, sobbing.

               Sousuke knew that him saying anything wouldn’t help even if he wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, that none of it was, that life had been horrible to both of them. But it wouldn’t help. So he stayed quiet and hugged her to him, breathing deeply and evenly in the hopes that it would help her calm down. She just needed to get it out.

               Eventually she seemed to have exhausted herself because she went limp, hiccupping. She had fallen asleep in his arms in this cooled bath and suddenly he felt like he wanted to cry too. His life felt so tame compared to hers and Makoto’s. His ‘hardships’ not hard at all. He had never felt like he needed to harm himself – unless drinking a lot counted. He had never felt like dying, like throwing himself off a cliff to end the thoughts swirling inside him.

               With difficulty Sousuke got out of the bath supporting Haru. She stirred a little but she was obviously unaware of anything around her. She went along with him as he guided her to the bed where Makoto was still passed out, asleep on his side. She climbed in and curled up and as Sousuke was leaving the room he saw the brunet’s arm slide around her in his sleep, pulling her close. Even unconscious he wanted to be close to him.

               Sousuke sat in the shower for a long time, eyes closed. He didn’t know what time it was, what day it was. It didn’t seem to matter. It was dark outside when he got out, maybe it had been dark the whole time. Maybe it was always dark for the two asleep in the other room, the only light they had being each other.

 

               Sousuke woke up before his roommates the next day and he was immensely glad it was Sunday. Because he was sure Makoto wouldn’t have been able to deal with work. He went into the kitchen, deciding that he would make breakfast for them all. A nice, hearty, traditional Japanese breakfast to get back on their feet.

               With music playing in the background he went about doing so, starting the rice before anything else. No Japanese breakfast would be complete without good rice. He also started coffee, because he felt like he needed it, needed to get his brain working a little faster.

               As he sliced up tofu cubes for the miso soup he heard shuffling behind him and looked over his shoulder to see Makoto. He was wearing a pair of worn sweats and nothing else and looked drained but present, which was more than could have been said yesterday.

               “Morning,” Sousuke hummed. He let the miso simmer as he poured Makoto a cup of coffee. The brunet gave a small bob of his head as thanks before adding liberal amounts of cream and sugar.

               “…thanks for taking care of Haru last night,” Makoto mumbled as he sipped his coffee. He was sitting at the island, hands cupped around it and staring into the light brown liquid. It looked like he was unable to look Sousuke in the eye.

               “Not a problem,” Sousuke replied and added the green onions to the soup before setting it aside. It had been a while since he had prepared such a big breakfast for more than just himself but he remembered all the foods his aunt would always make, and how she had taught him to make them. He was sure it would all taste good.

               It was quiet for a little longer, Makoto nursing his coffee and staring vacantly into space and Sousuke cooking. Sousuke felt comfortable with this silence as he focused on all the bits and pieces of a good meal for them all. Again he was struck with the domesticity of it all, as if he had somehow fallen into an open relationship with these two amazing people without meaning to and it was somehow alright. How he wasn’t opposed to this weird Thing they had going, this family he suddenly found himself in, as dysfunctional as it was ending up being.

               If someone asked him when he moved in if he knew he was going to become so… attached to his two roommates three months later he would have laughed in their face. Yet here he was, cooking breakfast for them after an emotionally exhausting evening. And what would Rin say to all of this? If he were to see it? He’d probably laugh and say it was all intentional even if it wasn’t.

               But maybe it was fate, to end up here. If he believed in that type of thing. Everything in his life was leading up to meeting these two amazing people, and if Rin had, for some reason or another, introduced them earlier on, it wouldn’t have worked out. Yet here they all were, as if they had been supposed to be together… But maybe that was him projecting.

               “Hi.” Sousuke turned once more from the food he had been making on autopilot as he thought to see Haru had finally joined them. She was wearing one of Makoto’s shirts, a t-shirt this time with an orca on it. Sousuke had never seen Makoto wear it so he suspected it was now Haru’s for sleeping. He watched as the woman kissed the brunet lightly on the cheek then came around into the kitchen where Sousuke was standing and did the same for him.

               For some reason he felt his cheeks heating up and hurriedly turned away back to the food. “Food’s ready,” he said as he cleared his throat.

               It took a little for them to all get everything but eventually they were all sitting at the dining room table, laden with full plates. Haru held Makoto’s hand as they ate in silence. It was a peaceful silence though, exhausted maybe, but comfortable. Safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you think I'd let you off easy, after that fluff+smut last chapter?
> 
> The summary for this chapter: "It was dark outside when he got out, maybe it had been dark the whole time. Maybe it was always dark for the two asleep in the other room, the only light they had being each other." is obviously two lines from the story. I am so incredibly proud of these two sentences. I think I did an amazing job on them. 
> 
> If you can, please comment! 
> 
> I have a [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ottersfic).


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru comes to visit Sousuke at work and he spends some time drinking with Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newwwww chappppttttterrrrrrrrrrr
> 
> [No chapter warnings!]

Haru _finally_ told Makoto and Sousuke why she had been cooking so obsessively one afternoon, about a month after she had been fired. She still hadn’t found a job but with the two men working it was ending up fine. They were relaxing on the couch after swimming when she had appeared from the kitchen with a tray of small cakes, setting them in front of them.

               “I want to open my own restaurant,” she declared, standing before them. Makoto dropped the cake he had been bringing to his mouth and it fell right onto his shirt. Sousuke, who had at least gotten his into his mouth, ended up coughing and nearly sprayed them both with crumbs. He finally was able to swallow, with difficulty, as he stared up at Haru.

               “W-what?” he wheezed out.

               Her large blue eyes slid to him and there seemed to be fire behind them. Bright. Hot. Strong. “I’m going to open my own restaurant,” she repeated.

               “That’s… wow. That explains all the food,” Makoto finally said, a look of awe on his face as he gazed up at his girlfriend. She nodded and plopped herself down on the coffee table, pulling her legs up under her.

               “I’ve been trying to figure out a menu,” she admitted.

               “That’d be amazing,” Sousuke said. She had the technical skills to come up with a menu and cook it, and the passion, as low-key as it seemed, to execute it, he thought. Plus she was stubborn which would help.

               “It’d be a lot of work,” Makoto pointed out. “Being the boss.”

               “I know,” she replied. “Not anything big.”

               The brunet stared at her for a long time before a brilliant smile broke across his face.

               “So bright,” Sousuke said, pretending to shield his eyes. Haru actually snorted and Makoto glared at him.

               “I think it’d be wonderful,” he said.

               “Still a lot to figure out,” Haru said. She looked between them then focused on Makoto. “…I’d like to focus on it. I hope… it’s not too hard without me working.”

               Immediately Makoto shook his head. “It’s not,” he said. “Not with Sousuke living here. If you want to do this then I’ll support you fully.”

               “ _We’ll_ support you,” Sousuke added in, surprising even himself. As the other two looked at him a dull flush colored his cheeks and he cleared his throat, glancing to the side. Haru seemed to be smiling and there was a knowing look in Makoto’s green eyes. Fishing around for something to say to get the attention off him, he finally said, “You should tell Rin.”

               Haru groaned. “I suppose,” she said. “He’s going to be so _loud_.”

 

               So she continued to work on it, filling the kitchen each week with new or altered foods that she would then send out with Makoto, Sousuke, Rin, and sometimes Kisumi. She was using them as guinea pigs, trying out different dishes and mixtures.

               Several times recipes didn’t work which ended in Sousuke and Rin gagging and spitting out whatever she had handed them. Makoto, always the gentleman, forced himself to swallow it but it was obviously a challenge when his expression twisted. She didn’t seem fazed or upset when these things happened, only throwing the rest of the dish away and going back to work on it further. Sousuke was getting used to the piles of food that now filled the kitchen and pantry.

               Since telling them her plans she seemed to go back to normal. Or as normal as Nanase Haruka could be, because she was still incredibly odd. Probably the oddest person Sousuke had ever met. So even with the constant cooking, other things had gone back to normal. Mainly and most noticeably her sexual habits.

               With school being out for the summer holiday, Makoto could lavish her with attention that he hadn’t been able to do during the end of the quarter. They were back to having sex regularly, which for some reason made Sousuke very happy. It seemed _normal_. And he had on several occasions walked in on them having sex; once with Haru going down on Makoto in the kitchen, once with Makoto going down on Haru laid out on the couch. He had gotten used to it. He would just give a vague hello or wave and go into his room.

               Haru still seemed unsure of where the boundaries were with Sousuke though. They hadn’t moved passed hands and mouths, yet he wasn’t bothered. Every time with her was amazing and she was keeping her promise to catch him up on orgasms. He did want to know how she felt, of course, and he’d jacked off numerous times to the thought of her sinking down onto him, but he was actually very alright with where they were. Wherever that may be.

 

               Neither of them had come to visit him at work yet though! He was still working at the dog café, still enjoying it. He had become a favorite whenever he brought food that Haru had made to share. Okumura told him one day, shyly, that whenever she brought food home her parents would gush over it, begging to know where she had gotten it. But since Sousuke had only told them his roommate cooked too much, she couldn’t really tell them or get the recipe. Ikehara loved loading up on the savory things that he’d bring whereas Tokuda seemed to prefer the sweet. And Josh was, well, Josh with his weird obsession with Japan. He would ignore the non-Japanese type foods Sousuke brought but would go on and on about the more ‘traditional’ things, even if sometimes those foods hadn’t turned out nearly as good as the non-Japanese foods.

               He would always report back to Haru, telling her which went over the best, which she would then jot down in an ever-growing notebook.

               It also appeared that Okumura had developed a crush on him. He brought it up to his friends one night while they were drinking and Rin had broken down into hysterical giggles, laying his head down onto the table as he wheezed. Makoto playfully told him not to break her heart while Haru had looked him up and down several times (she was a hilarious drunk) before declaring that he was ‘too much of a man for a high schooler to handle’. Which sent Rin falling off his chair as he guffawed. Haru had stepped on him as she crawled into Sousuke’s lap.

               But still, he wanted Haru and Makoto to come visit. Rin came often, maybe once a week, to say hello and hang out with the dogs. But he never brought Haru and Makoto and Sousuke was a little bummed. He wanted to introduce them to Miss Fujiwara, who seemed to have taken a great liking to him. She had already fawned over Rin, getting the confident redhead to actually blush, and had told Sousuke to get his other friends here.

 

               It was late morning and he had been scheduled with Josh and Okumura. It had been a busy morning, all the high-schoolers coming by before wasting their days away before next term. It seemed Okumura wasn’t the only high-school girl who had taken a liking to Sousuke, judging by the group who would always come in on his Tuesday mornings. He was more amused than anything else and would always think back to Haru’s drunken declaration and suppress a grin.

               “Yamazaki. Yamazaki!”

               Sousuke raised his head from the drink he was making as Josh slid up beside him and grabbed onto his arm. They had been over this so many times; Sousuke was starting to get exhausted telling the American to _not touch him_. He shook him off.

               “What?” he asked.

               “Oh my god, you _need_ to see the absolute _beauty_ who just walked in,” Josh gushed and Sousuke sighed. Another girl he’d have to intervene with? Maybe he’d somehow get Josh to do something else, anything else, and have Okumura take the order so they didn’t have to interact with the anime weeaboo. “Maybe she’s a model! I wonder if I could get her picture.”

               “You’re gross,” Okumura said offhandedly.

               “Just _look_ at her, Okumura!” Josh said, grabbing her and swiveling her around towards the door. If whoever had just entered hadn’t noticed them talking about her before she undoubtedly had now with how obvious Josh was being. The high-school girl shook him off easily and looked to the door.

               “…Oh. She’s really pretty,” the girl gasped. “She does look like a model.”

               “I told you. Sousuke why are you _not_ looking?!” Josh asked.

             Sousuke had finally finished making the latte and set it on the saucer. “Because I was working,” he growled at him as the customer came to collect their drink. “Like _you_ should be doing.” But finally he looked over to where his two other coworkers were staring, at the woman who had stopped halfway to the counter to pet one of the dogs.

               Sousuke almost laughed. Because the woman Josh was drooling over and Okumura was gazing at was none other than Haru. She was Makoto-less, which made him wonder – he’d have to ask her later. Finally she straightened up and wandered over to the counter.

               She indeed looked gorgeous today. She had looked gorgeous early this morning too as she swallowed down his cock, but that was a completely different type of beautiful than right now. She had on a crop top that showed her smooth, perfect stomach, and one of the skirts that just brushed the floor.

               “She looks like a mermaid,” Okumura said quietly as Haru drifted over to them in her weird going-with-the-current type way. She really did. The skirt she had donned today had an ombre of light blue to dark and her long hair was loose around her shoulders, straight and shining.

               “Good morning!” Josh greeted her exuberantly as she reached the counter. Her blue eyes slid to Sousuke briefly and her lips quirked up on one corner. From her expression, Sousuke could just tell that she had figured out this was the infamous Josh.

               Haru let her expression fall back into her usual deadpan as she looked back to Josh.

               “What can I get a beauty like yourself this fine day? On the house of course!” he asked in an attempt to sound smooth but it just came out awkward and maybe a little desperate.

               After spending so much time around her, Sousuke could see the amusement on her face even if not much had changed in her blank expression. He busied himself with another customer, wondering what she would do, dying to find out.

               “Hmm,” she said fake thoughtfully. Haru almost always ordered the same things from coffee shops – an Americano with just a little cream, she didn’t like her coffee sweet like Makoto did – but she seemed to be having fun. “What do you recommend?”

               Josh started rambling, listing all manner of sweet and creamy coffee drinks as Sousuke tried to hide his laughter, busying himself with his customer’s drink.

               “Hn. All too sweet,” Haru said. Sousuke came back over once he had finished what he was making. There was no line and he wanted to be present when Haru completely shattered Josh’s hopes of getting Haru’s number, which he knew he wanted.

               Then she turned to look at Sousuke. “Sousuke, you know what I like,” she said.

               The look on Josh’s face when he heard this was too much and Sousuke couldn’t hold his laughing back anymore. Okumura was gazing between the two, mouth a little open, but Josh was downright gaping. He moved a finger back and forth between them, mouthing.

               “ _Wait_!” he finally spluttered out. “Yamazaki, you _know_ her? A-and she called you by your first name?!”

               “Of course I do,” Haru said, cocking her head to the side. “I live with him.”

               Josh practically passed out at this, swaying where he stood. He grabbed onto the counter.

               “I’ll bring it out to you,” Sousuke said as he got his laughing under control and Haru nodded. She found a table in the window and a dog immediately went to her for attention.

               “You- and her- live? Together?” Josh choked out as Sousuke went about making Haru’s drink. Even Okumura had come over, wide eyed behind her huge glasses, to listen.

               “That’s what roommates do, Josh,” Sousuke seriously. “Live together.”

               “You live with a girl?!” Okumura squeaked out.

               Sousuke looked at her, amused. “A woman, yes. I also live with her boyfriend.”

               Josh’s face fell comically. “Boyfriend?” he asked.

               “She’s out of your league, Josh,” Sousuke replied, pouring the espresso into the cup before adding just a little bit of cream. “She likes… tall men.” And left the gangly college kid staring as he walked out over to her.

               It wasn’t nearly as busy as earlier, and with both Josh and Okumura there (both were still staring at Haru and Sousuke), he didn’t feel guilty about settling in across from her at the table. The small dog that had come over to her was now sitting on her lap, tail wagging happily as she scratched it behind its ears.

              “That made my whole day,” he admitted as she sipped at her coffee. She smiled slightly at him.

               “Fun,” she murmured. “He’s exactly as you described him.”

               “I’m glad you finally came to visit me,” he said, leaning forward a little bit. She gave him a real smile this time as she lowered the cup back into its saucer. Then she pulled out several things from her bag: a notebook (scratch that, _the_ notebook), a pen, and her phone. “Why didn’t Makoto come?”

               Haru’s face remained passive but she glanced away. “He’s not having a good day,” she murmured, sipping her coffee. “He wouldn’t have a good time.”

               Sousuke nodded, knowing what she meant. Sometimes, it seemed, Makoto had days where he simply wouldn’t, or couldn’t, leave the house, even if they had planned to go out swimming or something. He guessed it was one of those days.

               He left her as she started working on something for her restaurant and went back to the counter.

               “Is… is she the one who makes all the amazing food?” Okumura asked him and Sousuke nodded with a gentle smile. “Beautiful and talented…”

               “That was cruel, Yamazaki,” Josh said, glaring at the taller man. “You made a fool out of me!”

               “Pretty sure you did that to yourself,” Sousuke said lightly and went back to work.

               Haru stayed for at least an hour, working in her notebook. She went back between it and her phone, so Sousuke figured she was cross referencing things. He went over several times with new coffee, which she took with a smile.

               Josh was seething the entire time at how Haru and Sousuke had messed with him like that. Okumura kept shooting glances at Haru and then at Sousuke, confused and flustered.

               Finally she closed the notebook and slid everything into her bag. She gently placed the dog on her lap back onto the floor and made her way up to the counter. Waited until the line disappeared before approaching them. Thankfully Josh had gone on his break so none of them had to deal with him.

               “Leaving?” Sousuke asked.

               Haru nodded. “I’m going to go see some suppliers,” she said making a face. She wasn’t huge on talking to people, but she had to if she was going to be able to get this off the ground. Sousuke chuckled.

               Okumura had come over. She seemed star struck with Haru. “C-can I say something?” she asked meekly.

               The two adults looked at her in interest and she flushed under their gaze. Haru nodded, curiosity painted across her face.

               “You’re really pretty!” Okumura blurted out. She turned an even darker shade of red and looked like she wanted to flee.

               “Ah,” Haru said and gave her a small smile. “Thank you. You’re very cute yourself.”

               Okumura actually did run at that, obviously too embarrassed to continue facing them. She fled back into the employee area with a squeak.

               “You broke her,” Sousuke commented, leaning his elbows on the counter.

               Haru’s eyes twinkled. “Adorable,” she hummed. Then she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “See you later.”

               Sousuke waved her off, grinning like an idiot.

 

-

 

               “Where’s Haru going?” Sousuke asked as he put his things down on the dining room table. He had just gotten home from work, to find Haru half-dressed and looking frustrated. Her hair was in a towel, and she was wearing underwear and a bra, but she looked like she was searching for something as she went back and forth through the apartment.

               “She and Kiss are going to dinner,” Makoto said. “But it’s a nice restaurant and she can’t find the shoes she wants.”

               “She doesn’t have clothes on,” Sousuke said.

               “If she can find her shoes, that’ll decide what she wears,” Makoto said with an amused shrug. “It’s complicated.”

               “I guess so,” Sousuke said as he sat down heavily. He did still enjoy his job, especially when his friends came to visit, but today had been really busy so he was pretty tired. He was very glad it was his weekend. “Do we have anything to drink?”

               “I don’t actually know,” Makoto said. “Maybe.”

               “There’s Sake in the pantry and Rin left some beer,” Haru said as she passed the table, shoes in hand. Now, Sousuke supposed, she could actually get dressed. He stared over at the kitchen wistfully, not wanting to get up when he had _just sat down_ but… he really wanted something to drink.

               Makoto got up from the table and went into the kitchen, reappearing with beer for both of them. He set them down on the table. Sousuke blinked up at him.

               “You just looked so pathetic,” Makoto teased.

               “Thanks,” Sousuke said sarcastically but took one of the cans all the same. He opened it and took a long swallow – it was one of Rin’s specialty beers. One that went down really smooth and easy and could definitely get you drunk because of it. He didn’t have any problems with getting drunk tonight though. It might be fun and it was a good way to relax. Maybe he’d be able to convince Makoto to drink with him. More than just one drink.

               Makoto only smiled and took a swig from his own can.

               “What’re you working on?” he asked him as Makoto closed his computer.

               “Fieldtrip proposal,” Makoto replied. “Lots of hoops to jump through. I want to get it done before next term starts.”

               Sousuke nodded slowly and took another drink. He knew nothing about how schools worked or the processes behind them and wasn’t jealous of Makoto in the slightest. He still had to work over the school holidays even if he didn’t have to go to school.

               He jumped, nearly spilling his beer, as the doorbell rang at the same time Haru reappeared from the bedroom. Sousuke turned in his seat to watch as Haru swept to the door and opened it, shoes still in her hand.

               “You look beautiful!” Kisumi’s voice said even though he couldn’t see him.

               A small hum answered the male before Kisumi’s head poked around the corner to say hi to the other two.

               “I’ll bring her back by ten,” the pink-haired man said teasingly, winking at the two sitting at the table.

               “You better not,” Makoto replied, smiling.

               Kisumi grinned then disappeared from their view with a short wave. More talking that Sousuke zoned out on, then a loud ‘see you!’ from Kisumi and a quieter ‘bye’ from Haru then the door closed and they were gone.

               Makoto sighed, leaning back in his chair.

               “Want to watch something?” Sousuke suggested. He really didn’t fancy doing any sort of activity besides sitting and Makoto looked the same. At least with how he was sagging in his seat. The brunet nodded and got up to walk to the couch.

               Sousuke made a detour to the kitchen to grab more beer before joining him.

 

               The only thing even moderately worthwhile on TV was an ocean documentary. They had watched some Korean drama for a little but it was just Too Much for both of them so Makoto had switched channels until they found this. It was good background noise and something you could just tune in and out of, which was how his brain was functioning currently.

               The two of them had successfully consumed all the beer Rin had left there – the redhead probably wouldn’t be pleased – and had gotten into the sake Haru had mentioned. Now both of them were more than a bit tipsy and glad neither had anywhere to go.

               “Y’know,” Makoto started and Sousuke turned to look at him, “I’m glad y’ moved in with us.”

               “Me too,” Sousuke replied. He thought that maybe, like that other time, Makoto was just a little bit drunker than he was, but it was really hard to tell. They were both pretty pink and had both had a good amount of alcohol.

               “To be honest… Rin had told us all about you,” Makoto continued, making eye contact. “Even before we needed a roommate.”

               “Really?” Sousuke asked, lowering his cup of sake. He nodded and smiled. It was kind of a lopsided smile, a little dazed, but honest. Still Makoto.

               “Haru and I wanted to meet you sooner,” he said, “but Rin said it wasn’t a good time.”

               Suddenly Sousuke thought back to when he had been standing in the kitchen, making breakfast for the three of them, and how he had thought that they had met at the right time. That if they had met earlier it just wouldn’t have worked out.

               “Rin’s weird,” Sousuke said as he downed the rest of his sake. “He believes in fate and shit.”

               Makoto laughed. “Yeah, yeah he does.”

               They lapsed into silence. The TV droned on softly in the background, the sounds of rushing waves reaching them as the man talked about tides and glowing algae. Sousuke stared unseeing at the TV. He felt like he wanted to say something, anything really, to Makoto, but wasn’t totally sure what.

               “How’re you doing?”

               Sousuke looked around in surprise at the other man. “Huh?”

               Makoto looked more serious now and leaned a little closer. His face was in sharp relief with the light from the TV being the only thing shining on them both. It made his cheekbones look that much more defined, and his green eyes that much more intense.

               “You’ve been through a lot,” the brunet finally said.

               “I… guess?” Sousuke said lamely. “Not as much as you two.”

               Makoto shook his head slowly. “It’s not a competition,” he said. “We want you to be able to talk to us if something’s wrong. Or talk to Rin. We want you to talk.”

               “Nothing’s bothering me,” Sousuke admitted truthfully. At least here, at this second, nothing was bothering him. He was perfectly fine, relaxing on the couch in the dark, pleasantly drunk.

               “Maybe not _now_ , but if there is something, please don’t keep it inside,” Makoto said.

               The look in his eyes was intense and a little overwhelming. Sousuke lifted his cup to his lips but found that he had finished the sake long ago and put it down onto the table beside the empty bottle. “I’ll try,” he finally replied, unsure of what else to say.

               Makoto smiled. “That’s all we can expect,” he said. “You aren’t alone. I just want you to know that.”

               Sousuke nodded slowly, watching the brunet. He settled back down and looked at the TV, a small smile still curling his lips. Then something that had been in the back of his mind for a very long time suddenly spilled out of him.

               “Do you like men too?”

               Makoto turned to look at him, eyebrows raised a little. “Yes,” he replied, an amused chuckle escaping him. “I thought that was obvious…”

               “I… maybe?” Sousuke said, scratching the back of his head. He _had_ seen him and Rin fucking Haru together but that didn’t necessarily mean Makoto liked men in that way. Makoto really only focused on Haru but part of that, he figured, was the ease of it all. He was the busiest of the three of them so it would make sense that he wouldn’t have time to date like Haru did.

               Were there other clues that Sousuke just hadn’t noticed? Probably.

               Maybe the way Makoto’s and Rin’s knees knocked together that time at the pool, while they were seated next to each other. Or that light, lingering touch he had given Kisumi on the small of his back as he walked around him on one of the other man’s visits. Or maybe all of that was just Makoto being Makoto.

               “Do you?” Makoto asked, breaking through his thoughts.

               “Huh?” he asked, shaking his head.

               “Do you like men?”

               Sousuke blinked at him, mouth a little open. If he was being honest, he never thought that he was attracted to them. He always figured he was straight – as straight as they came, because he loved women. But after moving in with Makoto and Haru, and seeing (sometimes literally) the different ways people expressed themselves and their desires, maybe he wasn’t that straight after all?

               He remembered one time when he had come home early from work to find Haru and Makoto at it again, up against the wall. And the sight of Makoto’s back, taught muscle under smooth, tanned skin as he held up her weight was just about as attractive as Haru’s legs firmly around his waist. And there was no question that the man’s strong swimming wasn’t… tantalizing?

               “Have you ever kissed a man?” Makoto asked. He had been watching him this whole time, as all these thoughts raced through Sousuke’s head.

               Sousuke shook his head.

               Makoto smiled and cocked his head to the side. “Do you want to?”

               The teal-eyed man just stared. He was sure he knew what Makoto was offering. It was a pretty obvious offer, even if it wasn’t explicitly in his question. But what would Haru think? If she found out that he had kissed her boyfriend? Even just to see how it was?

               He realized, as he stared at the brunet blankly, that she probably wouldn’t care in the slightest.

               “Okay,” he found himself answering and he was treated to another one of Makoto’s blinding smiles before the man shifted closer.

               The kiss was so much different to that with a woman. Makoto was so similar in height and size that it was a little strange, and his lips were rougher than a woman. But they still felt good against his own and he found his eyes sliding closed and leaning forward.

               Makoto’s hand slid behind his head, cradling it, and Sousuke felt himself relaxing further into the kiss. He broke it only to breathe, before diving back in. It was so different, so… weird. But somehow familiar. And definitely enjoyable.

              The documentary was forgotten as they sighed and gasped, Sousuke dragging the other closer. He lost balance on the couch and fell backwards to sprawl on his back. Makoto, who had had an arm around his shoulders, was pulled down with him so he ended up on top of him.

               Sousuke stared up at the other man, breathless and dazed. The weight on top of him was so different than he was used to – he could move Haru easily if he wanted to and there was really no danger to her crushing him. But with Makoto. Makoto could easily pin him down enough that Sousuke would have to really fight to push him off.

               But he found he didn’t really mind this heavier weight on top of him and he tangled his fingers in Makoto’s short hair, tugging him down for another kiss. He felt teeth and hissed softly but didn’t let the other pull away, only deepening it.

               “Looks like you two are having fun.”

               Sousuke jumped so badly at the sudden voice that he hit Makoto’s forehead with his own. Through watering eyes he looked over Makoto’s arm to see Haru flicking on the living room light, phone held out in front of her, and apparently trying her best to contain her laughter.

               She had obviously just gotten back from her date, and they had been so preoccupied that they didn’t hear the door opening. Makoto sat up slowly and helped Sousuke do the same. He felt guilty and nervous, unsure of how Haru would react, but it didn’t seem that Makoto felt the same.

               “How long have you been standing there?” he asked.

               “Enough to have a video of you two,” she said lightly. Her hair, which had been down when she left, was tied into a loose braid down her back and Sousuke thought there might be a hickey on her neck.

               Makoto pouted at her. “Not fair,” he said. “Delete it.”

               “No. I’m going to keep it for when no one is around,” Haru stated. “Then I can watch it while I masturbate.” Then, leaving Makoto still pouting and Sousuke spluttering and flustered, Haru left the living room to go back to the bedroom where she undoubtedly was going to take a nice, long bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please comment!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke thinks about his and Makoto's kiss and finds Haru asleep on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I totally meant to update sooner (I know it hasn't been long), but I got very distracted. So, chapter 8. Only three more chapters after this.... WAIT WHAT??????? This took me a month to write, but it doesn't feel like I've taken too long to post it... I can't believe I'm almost done posting this.... kjalkdk
> 
> [No chapter warnings]

It took Sousuke some time to come to terms with what had happened that night. It wasn’t that he was upset at figuring out that he might not be as straight as he initially thought. Actually it was far from that. He somehow felt at peace with this discovery. Kissing Makoto had been very enjoyable and he found himself thinking that he wanted to do it again, when he wasn’t tipsy.

               But even if he had been living with he and Haru for the past several months, it didn’t mean comprehending these types of things was any faster. Sure, it wasn’t upsetting. But it still took him time to realize what had happened; to realize that he had been more than okay with it; that okay maybe yeah he wasn’t completely straight. He knew that he could talk to Makoto about it – and probably Haru, because she didn’t seem the straightest woman either – but he also knew that sometimes you just had to think things through on your own.

               He _did_ tell Rin what had happened, including Haru’s reaction. Rin had been ecstatic, whooping and thumping Sousuke on the back and drawing the attention of half the café to them.

               “I knew you weren’t straight,” Rin said quietly as he dragged Sousuke down a bit with his arm around his neck. The usual Rin position.

               “Shut up,” Sousuke said and disentangled him from his best friend. “I’m not kissing _you_.”

               Rin’s face had twisted at this. “Likewise, that’d be like kissing Gou. You’re like my brother.” But that expression hadn’t lasted long, as a wide, sharp-toothed grin took it over. “So? How was it then?”

               “…Surprisingly nice,” Sousuke admitted.

               Rin sighed wistfully. “Makoto’s a great kisser isn’t he?” he asked, bright eyes shining.

               “You’ve kissed Makoto?”

               Rin gave him a withering look. “Have you seen that man? And do you remember how _so_ not straight I am?”

               “How could I forget?” Sousuke said with a chuckle. But he did have to agree with his best friend. The brunet had been an excellent kisser. He couldn’t really say who was better at kissing: Makoto or Haru. Their styles, for lack of a better term, were so different that it wasn’t fair to compare them. The experiences so contrasting that there really was no way to say which one was ‘better’.

               “You’ve come a long way, man,” Rin finally said.

               Sousuke cocked his head to the side as he sipped his coffee.

               Rin’s manic grin had disappeared, to be replaced with a gentler, more calm smile. A knowing smile. Was there sadness there? He really couldn’t tell.

               “I mean…” It looked like the Rin was choosing his words very carefully. “A year ago, you wouldn’t have kissed a guy and been talking to me about it so calmly. You probably would have freaked out.”

               Sousuke scowled. Did Rin really have to remind him of how… close-minded he had been previously? But it didn’t appear that that was Rin’s goal.

               “No, no,” Rin said quickly. “It’s good. You seem like you’ve found yourself again, but this time even more.”

               “What are you talking about?” Sousuke asked, squinting at him.

               Rin sighed, rolling his eyes. “You’re _happy_ , Sou,” he replied. “You have healthy relationships. You aren’t as hard on yourself. You’re figuring things out. I’m so… happy for you.” And to Sousuke’s dismay, but not really surprise, tears started spilling over. The redhead hugged him from the side, pressing his face against Sousuke’s shoulder.

               “You don’t have to cry about it,” Sousuke remarked, because they were getting looks again. But he was more than used to Rin’s strong emotions and at least these tears seemed to be stemming from happiness instead of despair. Still… did he really have to do it here, in Their Café, as people whispered behind their hands?

               The answer was probably yes. So he let his best friend get it out of his system, not pushing him away. Rin finally pulled away, scrubbing his eyes with his jacket sleeve and sighed dramatically. Sousuke chuckled.

               “Anyway,” the redhead said, as if he hadn’t just sobbed into Sousuke’s shoulder for ten minutes (okay maybe not ten, but it felt like it). “You’re happy, right?”

               Sousuke thought about it for a moment, gazing vacantly out of the window to the summer night out beyond the café, then slowly smiled and nodded, looking back at his best friend.

               “Yeah, I am.”

 

               Sousuke took his time heading back to the apartment after talking with Rin. He wasn’t lost – he could easily find his way from Their Café back to the apartment now – no, he was just really… at ease. Enjoying the night air, even if it was a little muggy. Watching as people walked passed him. Catching snippets of conversations. Glimpses into other people’s worlds.

               He _was_ happy. Truly happy for the first time in many, _many_ years, he realized, as he made his way up the three flights of stairs. He hadn’t really realized it until Rin pointed it out, but he really was. A lot had happened in such a short amount of time, but it was all (or at least mostly all) for the better. He was in such a better place than he had been in a year ago. Hell, even just six months ago. Three months ago.

               The apartment door made no sound as he unlocked it, which he was glad for since he didn’t want to wake Makoto or Haru if they had gone to bed. He slid off his shoes, replacing them with house slippers, and padded into the living room without turning any lights on. He knew his way around by now so that the dim light from the half-open curtains of the living room window was enough for him to navigate.

               Except, he stopped beside the couch.

               Haru was curled up, asleep under a big blue futon, on the plushness of the couch. Sousuke blinked as he took the image in. He doubted she had had a fight with Makoto – if they had a disagreement, they generally tried to talk it out and didn’t simply banish one to the couch at night.

               Concerned, he leaned down and gently shook her shoulder.

               “Mmnn,” was all Sousuke got at first, as Haru curled up tighter and covered her head with the futon.

               “Why’re you on the couch?” Sousuke asked as she finally sat up to squint at him blearily.

               “Oh, Sou,” Haru said with a small yawn. “You’re back.”

               Sousuke nodded. “Why’re you out here?” he asked again.

               “Ah,” Haru said and glanced away. “Well… Makoto had a really bad day. He needed space, so I volunteered to sleep out here.”

               “Space? Even from you?” Sousuke asked, surprised. Haru simply shrugged. “I didn’t think that could happen.”

               “Doesn’t happen often,” Haru said sleepily. “Lemme go back to sleep.”

               Sousuke watched her as she flopped back down and went to cover herself up with the futon. Sousuke didn’t let her. Instead he scooped her up into his arms – she let out a startled squeak and dragged the futon with her – and took her to his room with him.

               “Sleep with me tonight, then,” he said as he dumped her unceremoniously onto his bed. Haru glared at him but probably with how he had gotten her here over what he said, because she didn’t argue or leave. She simply laid back down and stretched out. She had pushed the futon to the side in favor of going under Sousuke’s and he grinned a little before getting ready.

               She was already asleep again when he slid into bed. She must have had a busy day, if she was that tired, he thought. She stirred only briefly when he tentatively wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, but settled once he did.

               Haru was warm pressed against him, under the blankets. Sousuke buried his face against her neck and fell asleep.

 

               Sousuke woke slowly to the feeling of something – or someone – touching him. His eyes flickered open slowly to find Haru straddling him, pressing kisses against his neck and shoulders, occasionally nibbling at his skin. One hand was between them, slowly stroking him.

               He let out a surprised groan, breath hitching, as he woke up more. His hand slid to her thigh and she sat up, hand stilling.

               “Good morning,” she hummed, smiling down at him. Her hair was framing her face and trailing down her body, hiding her nipples as she shifted.

               “You look beautiful,” he said as a response and tugged her down to kiss her. She kissed him back lightly then pulled back. He cocked his head to the side questioningly.

               “Go brush your teeth,” Haru teased, rolling off his lap to sit beside him.

               Sousuke rolled his eyes but got up as she said – she grabbed his ass as he walked by – and brushed his teeth. Anyone else, he might complain, but he knew that Haru was teasing him and probably would have continued to kiss him if he decided he didn’t want to get up. But it did feel better to brush his teeth and relieve himself before returning. His eyes widened as he took in the sight before him.

               Haru was sprawled out on the bed, one hand at her mouth, sucking at her fingers, the other massaging one breast. She squirmed her hips, as if to get some friction without actually touching herself.

               “Join me?” she asked, gazing up at him.

               Sousuke kicked off his sweats again, completely now, and got over her. He gently pushed her hand away to kiss her again and settled on top of her. He held himself up a bit though, not wanting to crush her.

               She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, lazily, as if they had all the time in the world. Which, if he was being honest, they really did. He didn’t have work today and Haru would only be working on her restaurant.

               “You turn me on so fast,” Sousuke groaned as one of her hands slid down his back and grabbed his ass again.

               “Haah,” Haru breathed out, eyes half-lidded, staring up at him. “Good. That’s the point.” Then she rolled them over so that she was straddling him again. She ran her hands up and down his chest, then gently dragged her nails against his skin, causing him to moan softly.

               “I want to fuck you,” Sousuke breathed out, eyes a little out of focus as she rotated her hips. She raised an eyebrow, continuing to grind down on him.

               “You’ve done that before,” she said with a soft chuckle. Her hips hadn’t stopped moving.

               “No I mean…” he stopped, breathing a little hard, and placed his hands on her thighs, causing her to still.

               “I know what you mean,” Haru said with a smile and leaned down, kissing him once more. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her against him as they kissed. It felt so good to kiss her like this. For a brief moment, he thought about his kisses with Makoto and grinned. She pulled back just a little, running her fingers through his hair. “What’re you grinning about? Weirdo.”

               Sousuke paused then threw caution to the wind and said, “Thinking of when Makoto kissed me.”

               “Oh I see _how it is_!” She said as she sat up. Hands going to her hips. “Thinking about other people while I straddle you, how _could_  you?”

               Sousuke’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to reply, until he saw that her eyes shining. She was teasing at him. “Hey!” he said and pulled her down again. She wiggled, play-struggling, then melted into his kiss. Finally they broke apart again, both breathless. “For a second I thought you were serious.”

               “Am I ever?” she asked, running a finger down his nose. Sousuke rolled his eyes. Then she finally asked, “So, are we gonna fuck or am I just gonna leave?”

               “Yes please,” Sousuke asked breathlessly. She sat up and lifted herself onto her knees, reaching down to stroke him. Suddenly a wave of discomfort and panic washed over him and he grabbed onto her thighs. She paused, looking down at him, eyebrows drawn together, then let go of his length and sat back down onto his middle.

               “What’s wrong?” she asked with concern. Her hand went down to cover his own and he became aware that he was actually shaking. He closed his eyes tightly. “Hey, Sousuke, it’s okay. We don’t have to.”

               “I-it’s… I want to,” he said shakily. God, why was he so pathetic? Why was this so hard? He could feel himself losing hardness already. Why did he have to act like this? Feel like this? Haru slid off of him and sat beside him, running her fingers through his hair.

               “Talk to me?” she asked, stroking his cheek.

               “I think,” Sousuke said, finally reopening his eyes. “Thinking about Himari.”

               Haru’s face contorted into anger and he flinched and closed his eyes again.

               “No, Sou, I’m not mad at you,” she murmured, leaning down to press kisses on his skin. “Never you. I’m mad that she did this to you…”

               “I think it was just… you on top,” he admitted, turning his head to face her. She continued to stroke his cheek and jaw. “She never let me be in control. She thought missionary was too intimate and hated not being in control for doggy style. She thought I’d, I don’t know, go too hard or some shit.”

               “That’s an easy fix, then,” Haru said simply and smiled at him. He blinked up at her. “You’ll just be on top then.”

               Sousuke’s mouth fell open a little, unsure if that would make him feel better, but she had moved down his body and wrapped her lips around his half-hardened cock. He let out a startled groan as she slowly started working her mouth and tongue over him, coaxing life into it, sending jolts of pleasure up Sousuke’s spine. He closed his eyes, breathless, a little overwhelmed at how she was sucking him so gently yet so strongly and it didn’t take long before he was once again at full mast.

               Then she rolled over onto her back. He slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and looked at her, lips slightly parted.

               “Get over here,” she said with a slight smile, opening her arms invitingly. He moved so he was over her, settling between her beautiful thighs. She kissed him as she guided one of his hands down between her legs. He gently pressed a finger in passed her lips inside her, causing her to moan softly. She was wet, but maybe not as much as she needed to be, and he moved down to play with her nipples, slowly fingering her.

               Soft moans spilled out of Haru’s lips as he touched her, running a hand up and down his shoulder, eyes closed. She groped around and opened his bedside table, causing him to pull back a little, and watched as she pulled out a bottle of lube.

               “How’d you know that was there?” Sousuke asked.

               Haru just gave him a look. “You’re a man, Sou, you have lube close by.”

               Sousuke flushed. Which, if he thought about it, was such a dumb reaction with his finger deep inside her. He withdrew it and grabbed the lube. Pouring some out onto his fingers before stroking himself.

               “…Can I?” he asked nervously, gazing down at her.

               “Wait a second,” Haru said. She grabbed a pillow and lifted her hips enough to slide it underneath them. Then she settled back down, spreading her legs further, and nodded. “Come on.”

               Sousuke took a deep breath and sat back. He looked down, one hand on his cock and one on her inner thigh, and slowly pressed forward. He was still trembling a little, but it was out of excitement more than panic now.

               “Oh fuck,” Haru breathed out, eyes fluttering closed.

               But Sousuke could only watch as he sank further and further into her, breath catching in his throat. It felt so good he could barely comprehend how good it felt inside this beautiful woman. Finally he was pressed against her and nearly collapsed on top of her.

               “H-how’re you doing?” she asked breathlessly, wrapping her arms around him as she shifted her hips just a little.  

               Sousuke wasn’t totally sure how he was doing. He was on cloud nine, he could barely find words. The heat surrounding his cock, as Haru’s pussy clenched as she shifted, felt so good he could almost cum just like this. But he really didn’t want to cum so fast. He just nodded against her neck and gave his hips a roll.

               Haru’s breath caught in her throat as he started to move into her.

               “Y-you feel so good,” Sousuke moaned out.

               “Keep going,” she whispered in his ear.

               He didn’t need to be told twice. He started to thrust into her faster, setting up a steady rhythm into her. She moaned into his ear, rocking her hips up to meet his grinds, causing him to whimper into her neck. The feeling of her breath against his skin and the soft groans escaping her was egging him on. But he was nervous to go too fast or too hard.

               “Hey, Sou, stop for a second,” Haru gasped out. Immediately he stopped, staring down at her in mild panic. “Calm down, I just want to change positions.”

               He relaxed and sat back, pulling out of her with a soft sigh. She rolled over onto her tummy before sliding her knees up. He could only stare for a long moment, until she looked over her shoulder looking frustrated. “Are you gonna get inside me or what?” she asked. “This way, you can go harder.”

               Sousuke stared down at her then nodded and pushed back into her with a small groan.

               She pressed her forehead to the bed and rocked her hips back as he started to thrust into her. It felt even better this way if he was being honest and he held tightly to her hips.

               “H-harder!” Haru gasped out. He moaned loudly at that and did as she asked, fucking inside her, feeling her muscles flinch and clench around him.

               “H-Haru!” Sousuke moaned and reached forward, tangling his fingers in her hair and tugging back.

              She yelped and clenched down on him as he thrust into her, causing him to choke on his groan. He kept his hand firmly in her hair, pulling her head back a little further so her back arched even more.

               “Don’t stop don’t stop!” she cried out, forcing her hips back against his own.

               “Fuck,” Sousuke gasped and doubled over, buried deep inside her, and came hard. Haru moaned softly, thrusting her hips back against him as he bit into her shoulder. His orgasm felt like it went on forever as he whimpered, eyes tightly shut, before he finally released Haru’s hair and the hold on her hip. She slid down flat onto the bed, Sousuke’s cock sliding out of her as she did so. He leaned back, bracing himself on his hands as he panted, staring at the woman sprawled out before him.

               His eyes were drawn to her cunt, where he could see his cum coating her. She rolled onto her back and reached down between her legs, but only to spread her pussy, allowing his cum to ooze out of her as she let out a breathless chuckle.

               Sousuke groaned, staring as she did that. It was so hot he almost felt like he could go again, but he didn’t really think he had it in him. He had cum quite a lot, he saw, as she tensed a little, forcing more to spill out.

               Haru drew her hand back and looked at the white coating her fingers. “You came a lot,” she hummed.

               “S-sorry,” Sousuke said, embarrassed.

               She finally sat up, crossing her legs. “Don’t be. That was a lot of fun,” she replied and leaned forward, pressing a light kiss on his lips. “I like it when men cum inside me.”

               For some reason, that caused him to flush. Maybe it was the sudden image he got of her just absolutely covered in cum, her pussy drenched in it, but it was… very hot. He coughed and looked away, and his eyes fell onto her hips where several finger shaped bruises were starting to form.

               “Oh god, I’m sorry!” he practically yelped and moved forward to look at them more closely, but his leg had gotten tangled in the blankets as they had shifted positions and he lost his balance. As he toppled to the side he grabbed Haru in panic and they both went tumbling to the floor with loud grunts of pain.

               Loud footsteps sounded before the door was pushed open and Makoto came in. “Are you two okay?!” he asked in alarm before taking in the scene before him. Sousuke was on his back, leg still on the bed, with Haru sprawled on top of him looking dazed. The brunet started laughing and didn’t seem to be able to stop as they slowly got up, Haru swaying slightly – it seemed that she had hit her head on the way down.

               “Jeez, Sousuke,” Makoto said when he finally got his laughter under control. “Keep it on the bed.”

               “I got tangled in the sheets,” he grumbled as he rubbed his head. Then he turned to Haru, who was sitting on the ground with her legs crossed, blinking at both of them. Like she was still trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. “I think I made bruises…”

               Haru finally looked down at her hips. “Oh would you look at that,” she hummed, although she seemed unconcerned and pushed Sousuke’s worrying hand away. “Bruises heal, don’t worry.”

               “She likes them,” Makoto intoned because for some reason that Sousuke couldn’t figure out he was still standing there in the doorway like a weirdo as the other two sat naked on the bedroom floor. He ducked and ran from the room when Haru threw the bottle of lube at him, then looked back at Sousuke and smiled slightly.

               “Really though, it’s fine. You were enjoying yourself. I was enjoying myself. I don’t mind bruises,” she murmured and leaned forward, kissing him deeply. Giving up, he wrapped an arm around her waist as he kissed her back.

               “I’m ordering food,” Makoto called from what sounded like the living room. “Tell me what you want!”

 

-

 

              Another day at work. Makoto had finally come to visit the café. Haru was off doing something, but the brunet had brought Kisumi along. The pink-haired male had felt left out when he heard that both Rin and Haru now frequented the dog café but he hadn’t been invited. Rin had told him that he could easily just show up – it was just a café after all – but he was adamant that he wanted to go _with_ someone. It wasn’t like Kisumi to be socially anxious. So he and Makoto came together.

               Sousuke was working with Okumura and Josh again this morning. As the two men entered the shop Okumura’s eyes widened to giant saucers and she busied herself with cleaning something that she had finished cleaning already. Josh only glanced briefly up before giving a soft huff and turning away. He seemed to be in a bad mood since Haru hadn’t come to visit recently, and the last time the woman was in she had teased him ruthlessly in her dry way. Josh hadn’t picked up on the fact that she was joking – maybe because he didn’t know her or maybe because Japanese wasn’t his first language – but it had all been funny to Sousuke.

               “Hey,” he said as the men finally reached the counter. They had been swarmed by several dogs and Kisumi had dissolved into ecstatic nonsensical words as he pet all of them. It would seem that the man was a dog person.

               “Sousuke! Why did it take you so long to invite me? I’m hurt!” Kisumi said a little louder than necessary. Both Okumura and Josh swiveled around. More people that Sousuke knew. Which apparently was important and fascinating to the two of them.

               “You know you could just have come,” Sousuke intoned, raising his eyebrows. “It’s not like it’s a private place.”

               “But you invited everyone else!” he lamented, leaning his arms on the counter.

               “You’re here now,” Sousuke said, looking amused. His eyes shifted to Makoto. The brunet was smiling pleasantly, looking around the café while the other two spoke. “Hey.”

               “Sorry for not coming to visit sooner,” Makoto said.

               Sousuke shrugged. “It’s fine,” he replied. “What can I get both of you?”

               While Makoto looked over their drinks, Kisumi had caught sight of the other two lurking behind the counter and was staring unashamedly at them both. Specifically Okumura. He knew that the man would never do anything towards an under-aged girl, but he was also a huge flirt and kind of a lady killer, so he was sure that Kisumi would still lay on some of his charms.

               As Sousuke went to make the two drinks, Okumura and Josh came up to him.

               “More friends?” Josh asked, eyes narrowed at the two men who were now chatting together. Every once in a while they’d glance over, but otherwise left Sousuke alone as he worked. The teal-eyed man nodded as he steamed the milk for Makoto’s drink.

               “The brown haired one is Nanase’s boyfriend,” Sousuke told him, watching Josh’s face carefully as he relayed this information. He preferred to refer to Haru by her last name around his coworkers, even if he called her ‘Haru’ if she visited, just so that Josh knew it wasn’t okay for him to start using her given name.

               “What?!” Josh said then chanced another look at Makoto. His shoulders slumped. Makoto was only a little shorter than Sousuke himself, and even if he looked gentle (because he was) he was still a good five inches taller than Josh and twice as broad. Josh, besides being lowkey a creep, was most definitely _not_ Haru’s type. Sousuke had conveniently forgotten to mention that Haru and Makoto were open, because he really didn’t want to deal with _that_ conversation.

               “What…what are their names?” Okumura asked, peering at them both from behind the espresso machine. Her cheeks were lightly dusted with pink as she stared.

               “Tachibana,” Sousuke said as he motioned to Makoto, “and Shigino” as he motioned to Kisumi with the milk spoon. He finished pouring the two drinks for his friends and went back to where they were. Josh and Okumura shuffled close behind.

               “Thanks!” Makoto said cheerfully. “Ah, Sousuke, you’re really talented!”

               Sousuke grinned a little. Kisumi was once again looking at his coworkers with interest.

               “You’re cute,” he suddenly said, leaning forward a little bit, looking at Okumura. She gaped at him and turned bright red.

               “T-t-t-thank you,” she stuttered out and went to busy herself with something.

               “Get out of here you’re distracting them,” Sousuke teased, looking from Makoto (who looked amused) to Kisumi (who was grinning blindingly) and back again.

               “We really should, actually,” Makoto said, glancing at the time. “Haru needed us, remember?”

               “You’re no fun, Makoto,” Kisumi said but nodded. “Thanks for the coffee! I’ll come back soon now that I know where you are!”

               After petting several of the dogs, the two men headed back out of the café, talking between them.

               “They’re both… sort of good looking. I guess,” Josh said grumpily and Sousuke snorted.

               “What are you talking about?” Okumura asked. “They were both beautiful! Tachibana is a perfect fit for Nanase, they’re both so attractive! And… and Shigino…” Her voice faded off as her face lit up bright red again.

               “Do you have a new crush?” Josh asked, peering down at her. “What, you’re all over Sousuke now? That was fast.”

               Sousuke smacked Josh upside the head, causing him to yelp. “He’s older than you,” he said, completely ignoring Josh’s complaints to speak to Okumura.

               “I – I know that,” she mumbled sheepishly. He smiled at her. “Still…! He’s… he seems really nice.”

               Sousuke thought about this as he pushed Josh away from them both, telling him he should clean something or take back dishes. He supposed that Kisumi _was_ nice. Very nice. He was just a lot of energy and loud and sometimes a bit much for Sousuke, if he was being honest. But he was still a gentleman, even if he dressed a little, well… not as much.

               “He is,” he finally answered. “Even if he looks like a delinquent.”

             “He doesn’t! Not really!” Okumura claimed then cleared his throat. “I’ll… go clean tables now.”

               Sousuke watched as she bustled off, amused. If she had been older, at least legal, Kisumi probably would have given her an actual shot. But not when they were all more than ten years older. That was a big age gap, even for Kisumi – who had dated younger and older, if Rin and Haru’s stories were to be believed.

               But he did seem to like shy or quiet girls, and Okumura definitely fell into that category. He figured part of her attraction to him, though, was that he looked so _different_. With his bright pink hair (recently redyed, if Sousuke wasn’t mistaken), his gauged ears and his somewhat eccentric fashion – he had been wearing bright pink converse to match his hair and pastel blue skinny jeans today, so ridiculous – he did look different than the usual crowd that generally came into the dog café. So of course a high school girl would be smitten. Or at least intrigued.

               Shaking his head, he straightened up as a customer came up to the counter to order.

               “Man,” Josh sighed heavily. “Nanase is so beautiful. The perfect Japanese woman.”

               Sousuke narrowed his eyes at him. “Gross,” he said before turning to the man who had come up to them. He was pretty tall, not quite as tall as he and Makoto, but tall for a Japanese man. He was eyeing them with interest, in a way that, for some reason, gave Sousuke an unsure feeling. But he pushed that away as he took the man’s order.

               “Nanase?” he said questioningly.

               “This _beautiful_ woman who sometimes comes in here!” Josh said. It seemed he had no issues talking about another person he didn’t actually know to a random customer.

               The man’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Does she have blue eyes?” he asked.

               A red flag raised in Sousuke’s brain as he listened.

               “Yeah! Amazing for a Japanese woman,” Josh said. “You know her?”

               The man inclined his head slightly. “If it’s the same Nanase, I went to high school with… her,” he said lightly.

               Sousuke set his drink down on the counter. He wasn’t comfortable with this. Something about this man was incredibly suspicious – but he couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. Haru had gone to high school with plenty of people. It could also be a different Nanase who happened to have blue eyes – Haru couldn’t be the only one, it wasn’t that odd of a surname. What were the chances of running into someone she went to school with, from Iwatobi, here in Tokyo?

               He stepped back from the counter, heading into the back to the employee break room. Ikehara was already there, pulling her apron on. “I’m heading off a little early,” he told her, pulling his own apron off and hanging on the hook. “See you.”

               “Yeah, have a good one,” Ikehara said happily, pinning her hair away from her face.

               Sousuke didn’t know why he felt so strange. The man had done nothing to warrant the red flag besides _possibly_ knowing Haru. Maybe he did know her, from years ago. She was easy to recognize, Sousuke figured, easy to remember.

               He shook his head vigorously. He just needed to sleep, that must be it. He had stayed up too late last night watching a movie and it was making him a little paranoid. A nap was definitely in order, since it was too early to go to bed for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please comment!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto, Rin, and Haru bring Sousuke to a club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO. I didn't mean to leave you guys without an update for 9 days.... but I was visiting my BFF, and also needed to DRAW AN ART for this chapter. The art is in the chapter, but if you want to share/see the whole image, you can see them on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/PumpkinspiceO/status/1100603380773208066?s=20) and [Tumblr](https://a-coffee-fueled-otter.tumblr.com/post/183085691988/haru-from-my-fic-everythings-gonna-be-alright).
> 
> No chapter warnings!

Sousuke was woken from his nap by a pillow to his face thrown by Rin. He jolted awake suddenly and sat up, growling as he grabbed the pillow off himself and threw it back at his friend as hard as he could.

               “What are you doing in my room?” he asked, groggy and annoyed at this rude wakeup call. Rin had better have a good reason for barging into _his_ room and waking him up with _his_ pillow.

               Rin, who had easily caught it, grinned down at him, all sharp teeth and bright eyes. He tossed the pillow back down onto the bed and set a hand on his hip. Sousuke finally took in what his best friend was wearing: _very_ formfitting black jeans, a v-neck shirt that hung unnecessarily low and one of those men’s fashion vests that didn’t even have buttons. It was a going-out look that Sousuke knew, because the redhead rarely wore things _that_ tight or _that_ revealing out and about.

               “Get up, Makoto and Haru want to go to a club,” he said. “And they want you to come with us.”

               “A club?” Sousuke asked, raising one dark eyebrow, finally awake. Well, he could have guessed that. But Makoto and Haru didn’t seem like the types to want to go to a club in the first place… especially Makoto. Wouldn’t that type of atmosphere be a bit too overwhelming?

               He started and let out a startled grunt as he realized Rin had strode over to his closet and was currently rifling through it.

               “What are you doing?” he asked as he got up.

               “Picking out something for you to wear,” Rin said obviously, grabbing several things and, since Sousuke had walked over to him, held up a shirt, then another, and looked him over. “Eh, that’ll work.” He shoved the simple teal shirt at him, which he simply took out of habit more than anything else, before watching Rin go to his dresser to go through his pants.

               “Stop going through my stuff.”

               “You’d take forever to pick something to wear,” Rin replied over his shoulder and tossed Sousuke one of his nicer pairs of black jeans. It was a simple look, especially compared to Rin, but it wasn’t bad, and more importantly it was comfortable. He didn’t usually wear the t-shirt though, because it had shrunk a little and definitely hugged his body, but that’s why Rin picked it, he figured. “Now change.”

               Sousuke sighed. It looked like he didn’t have a say in the matter. As Rin left, to join the other two, he guessed, he started to change. He listened to Rin and Makoto talk in the living room – Rin was being loud, as usual, his laugh carrying easily through the crack of the slightly ajar door.

               He sent a quick glance to the door as he was pulling the t-shirt on but did a double take at what he saw, freezing with only his arms in the shirt. Because Haru had pushed the door open and was now standing there, staring at him with her large eyes, and she was… _hot_.

               He took a moment to look up and down her form, appreciating the way the sequined dress hugged her curves. It met her neck snuggly but had no sleeves, so the world was free to admire her strong shoulders and well-muscled arms. It went down about mid-thigh, so there was still plenty of leg for him to stare at. Her hair was up, and in a _hair-bow_. A fucking hair-bow. Rin must have had a hand in that, because Sousuke had never seen her do much of anything with it besides a bun or a braid – other things, like this, took effort. Effort that Haru often didn’t put forth.

               Haru cleared her throat and his eyes snapped back to her face. She was smirking a little bit, subtle smoky eyes narrowed, catlike, lips quirked up _just_ so. “We’re waiting for you.” Then she turned around and left the bedroom.

               Sousuke stared after her, until his shoulder gave an unpleasant twinge at the awkward angle it was currently in and he hurried to pull the shirt on. She would be the hottest one there, that was for sure. No doubt about it.

 

 

               They took the train. There would more than likely be drinking and this seemed the safest play. It was a bit crowded – Friday night, everyone else was going out as well – and so they had to stand. If she had been alone, Sousuke would have been worried about Haru. She looked killer in her outfit. Although her resting bitch face often deterred men to approach her, it might not have been enough to stop a creep from trying something. But with the three of them standing close, even those who sent her quick, appraising looks, quickly looked away when one of the men noticed they were staring. For once, Sousuke thanked his more intimidating appearance because he didn’t have to do anything but glare before a man who had been opening leering at Haru to quickly shuffle away.

               Haru, oblivious or uncaring of this attention, simply stared across the train car, eyes slightly unfocused as she zoned out.

               “So what’s this club you’re kidnapping me to?” Sousuke finally asked.

               Makoto, dressed in what was most definitely _not_ his teacher clothes but not quite as suggestive as Rin, smiled at him. “Sorry,” he said, eyes twinkling. “Haru and Rin were pretty adamant about you coming.”

               “Hey,” Haru said but didn’t elaborate, causing her boyfriend to chuckle.

               “The club is owned by an old friend,” the brunet explained across Haru’s head. “It’s actually really nice.”

               “Fancy as shit,” Rin commented, glancing up from where he had been gazing at his phone. One of his hands was resting lightly on the small of Haru’s back, as if to steady her, and she hadn’t brushed him off. “That’s why you needed to look somewhat presentable.”

               “It’s actually an LGBT club,” Makoto continued. “Welcome to everyone, really.”

               “Huh,” was all that Sousuke replied, which caused Haru to huff an amused laugh. The train jostled and they all swayed. She stepped to steady herself and Sousuke found her much closer than she had been. She looked up at him and blinked, a slight smile on her lips. He caught her scent briefly, the smell of the ocean, before they were shepherded off the train by Makoto.

               It definitely looked high end as they walked up to it. There was a line out the door, waiting to come in, with all manner of colorful individuals. Sousuke saw a number of same-sex couples, standing closer than friends, as they chatted and waited patiently for their turn to enter. But the other three, Makoto in the lead, walked straight passed the line, until they were under the deep blue awning and in front of one of the bouncers.

               Even the bouncers were dressed nicely in all black. When the man saw Makoto and Haru, he smiled and stepped aside, allowing them to enter through the V.I.P. entrance. Sousuke simply followed, dumbfounded. He had never experienced something like this before. As they entered, the low thrum of music reached his ears – and body – and he looked around with interest.

               There were tables and booths set off to one side, a long bar on the other, with the dance floor in the center. There seemed to be a balcony too, if Sousuke craned his head. And it was pretty full – no wonder the line outside hadn’t been moving.

               A slim figure was standing close to the entrance, near the bar, watching as people filtered in and out, moving around the club. And it seemed that their group was going to greet them because Haru and Makoto were making a beeline straight in their direction.

               As they all got closer, Sousuke saw the person was inclining their head to the taller man beside them, who had a kind face framed by practically silver hair and thin glasses. He just caught “—your brother is waiting—” before their group finally reached them.

               The two looked up and the taller smiled kindly, saying a soft hello, before sliding away, and disappeared from sight.

               “Haru. Makoto,” the person said, a little surprised, but they seemed pleased.

               Sousuke finally had the chance to take the person in from the light of the bar. They were slender, with dark hair and intense brown, almost red, eyes, wearing nice slacks and a button down shirt with a fitted vest. The earrings in their ears and the rings on their fingers glinted in the pulsing light.

               They were ridiculously attractive, and Sousuke had absolutely no idea what their gender was. If he based it off their clothes, he’d hazard a guess at a man, but really he couldn’t be totally sure with another glance at the clientele of the club.

               “It’s good to see you, Ikuya,” Makoto was saying and Sousuke shook himself briefly. How had he thought he was straight for this long?

               “You haven’t come in a while,” the person – Ikuya – intoned, although they looked happy to see them. Sousuke could only tell because he had been spending so much time around Haru, and Ikuya seemed similar in lack of expression.

               Haru actually gave them a brief hug. She was taller than them, with her heels, but if Sousuke had to guess, they were probably the same height.

               “This is Sousuke,” Makoto said, stepping aside. “Sousuke, this is our friend Ikuya. He owns the club.”

               Ikuya’s eyes slid to him and Sousuke gave a slight bow. He looked him up and down briefly then gave a small smile. Very much like Haru. “Welcome. I hope you enjoy yourself.” He turned back to the other three. “You just missed my brother.”

               “Ah, sad,” Rin said, who had been gazing around the club while the other two were saying their hellos. “Would have been nice to see him. Next time.”

               Ikuya nodded. “Have fun,” he said, giving a small bow of the head.

               “We’ll stop by when we’re leaving, if you’re still here,” Makoto told him and Ikuya nodded, before their group left him where he stood near the entrance.

               “Odd guy,” Sousuke said as he looked around the club.

               Rin barked out a laugh. “Yes,” he said. “Very much so. Want to get a table first?”

               “Mm,” Haru replied, her hum barely audible over the thumping music. She took the lead, up the stairs to the balcony, where there were round booths set into the wall. She picked one close to the stairs and settled down near the center. Sousuke noticed that there was another bar up here as well, although it wasn’t nearly as large.

               “I’ll get drinks,” Makoto volunteered. “Sousuke, help me?”

               Sousuke nodded and left the other two at the booth, following the brunet to the bar.

               “What do you think of the club?” Makoto asked with a smile as they settled against the bar to wait for the bartender.

               “Rin was right. Fancy as shit,” Sousuke said as he looked around.

               “It didn’t start out like this. It used to be a little hole-in-the-wall thing,” Makoto explained. “But it got more and more popular – there aren’t very many places where LGBT people can go and be completely open about who they are. This location is relatively new. He only moved here a couple of years ago.”

               “I see,” Sousuke said. He did see same-sex couples, maybe more than hetero couples. Groups of friends. Parties. Singles. It was a lively place. Some he couldn’t tell the gender just by looking, like Ikuya. “When we first walked up to Ikuya, I didn’t know if he was a man or a woman.”

               Makoto chuckled softly. “That’s his goal, really,” he said before turning to the bartender. He ordered for himself and Haru, then allowed Sousuke to order for himself. Sousuke ended up ordering for Rin as well, although he was sure Makoto would have been able to do it, if they went out together enough times. It seemed to be put on a tab because the woman behind the bar didn’t ask for any money.

               “Are you… okay here?” Sousuke asked awkwardly as they carried the drinks back.

              Makoto glanced at him, cocking his head to the side slightly. “It’s a familiar place, which helps. Plus,” he said as he settled down, handing Haru’s drink to her, “I’m here with you all. I’m perfectly fine. You don’t have to worry, Sousuke.”

               Rin snagged his drink from Sousuke’s hand as he settled down beside him, causing Sousuke to roll his eyes, and nodded. Makoto settled beside his girlfriend, sliding an arm around her shoulders.

               “Drinks, then dance,” she stated, to which the others nodded, exchanging amused looks.

               It didn’t take them long finish those first drinks then Haru was dragging both Makoto and Sousuke back down the stairs by their hands – they had left their jackets on the table – to the dance floor.

               An American song started up just as they got there, setting a fast beat. Bodies moved together on the dance floor as lights flashed and flickered, and then Haru was moving and Sousuke had eyes for nothing else. For a moment he could only stare as her hips undulated, the sequins of her dress catching lights and dazzling him.

               She danced with them in turn, lips parted, eyes half lidded, teasing and touching, pulling away when they reached forward. Sousuke was able to wrap an arm around her waist when she came close, feeling her twist against him, until she somehow wriggled free and moved to Makoto, eyes dancing.

               Rin disappeared briefly only to reappear moments later with more drinks. It was so hot on the dance floor Sousuke found himself drinking it fast – faster than maybe he should be, because they were _strong_. And he found that he just couldn’t take his eyes off Haru. No matter what she was doing, he just couldn’t look away.

               The way she and Rin moved, both incredibly fluid and free, was hypnotizing. Rin liked to keep his hands on her hips or her back, but Sousuke definitely saw him reach down to her ass once or twice. The way she moved with Makoto was different. They seemed to know each other so well that they moved as one being, one entity. It wasn’t as smooth, rolling, as when Haru danced with Rin, but it was sometime deeper, a connection forged by years together and battles fought.

               And when she moved to him once more, cheeks flushed, he couldn’t help but pull her against him. Close, so close, that even through all the bodies, he could smell her. She danced against him, so close he could feel every drag of her body against his, that he couldn’t stop himself from drawing her head up to his and kissing her deeply.

               Haru kissed back immediately, licking her way into his mouth, drawing a low groan from him. It seemed that they had frozen there together. The bodies pressing in on all sides. The voices and chatter. The energy pulsing through him. And he could taste her in his mouth and feel her hand on his ass, and the heat already pooling in his gut only got hotter. Even though the music was so loud he could feel it in his chest, it felt like everything had faded out – it was only them. Alone, on the dance floor, alone, in the world, an unlikely pair in an alien place. Breathing each other’s air, tasting each other’s tongues.

               Sousuke was seized with a powerful emotion then, as he let his hand slide to her ass, dragging her against him and letting her feel just what she did to him. A strong realization that this was his life now. That he felt _free_ to do whatever he pleased, for the first time in so long, and Rin was right, he was happy. And he was happy because of this gorgeous woman kissing him senseless, and was happy because of her boyfriend, who was now dancing with his best friend – sharing touches a little too intimate to be ‘just friends’.

               And he had to break apart, panting and gasping, to stare down at Haru.

               She stared up at him in turn, smiling slightly, then pulled from his grasp. She took his hand and led him through the mass of people, leaving the other two – who seemed perfectly fine as they were, if Sousuke was being honest – to a dark corner by the heavy velvet drapes covering the walls.

               In the shadow of the stairs, hidden from view of the dancers, far enough away from any tables that they blended into the dark, Haru kissed him again. She pulled him to her, until he was pressed close, pinning her against the wall.

               The music continued to play, the chatter of strangers in his ears, as she reached her hand into his pants, drawing out his erection.

               “So hard, already,” she gasped out into his mouth as he moved against her hand.

               “It’s your fault,” he breathed back, finally breaking the kiss. “S-should we be doing this? Won’t we get – _ah_ – in trouble?”

             “s fine,” Haru replied, now mouthing at his neck. “I’ve done it before. Are you gonna fuck me?”

               “ _Yes_ ,” he growled out and hiked up one of her legs up onto his hip, pushing up her dress.

               The sound she made when he pushed into her made his heart stop for a moment. The moan, right into his ear, made him grip her tighter. And when she breathed, letting out small groans and whines as he worked into her, pinning her hard against that wall, he had to lean down and kiss her again. He had to take that breath, had to swallow those moans.

               She was moving against him, as best as she could, forcing him deeper inside, clenching around him. He quieted his moans against her neck, biting at the pale skin there.

               “C-close?” she asked, voice pitched higher than normal.

               “Yes,” he said, hand tightening on her thigh, gripping her hard.

               “G-good,” Haru said. “Cum. C-cum inside me!!”

               Sousuke moaned, hips stuttering, because he had never had someone say something like that to him – a command, a plea, he didn’t know and didn’t cared. The pure desire dripping from the words sent him over the edge and he came, buried deep inside her cunt, as she flinched and clenched around him, whimpering and gasping.

               He panted against her neck before slowly pulling out, setting her down onto the floor. She moaned softly, legs shaking, as he put himself away.

               After he had finally caught his breath, he asked, “did you come?” If she hadn’t, which he knew was likely, he wanted to fix that. She looked at him, eyes a little glazed, then shook her head minutely.

               Sousuke leaned close and kissed her, deeply and slowly, as he slid his hand between her legs. Some of his cum had already dribbled out of her onto her inner thighs, so he used that as he touched her. She started to whimper as he rubbed her, hips jerking, until she let out a soft cry against his lips, back arching off the wall. Finally he pulled his hand away, allowing her to breathe.

               He watched in amazement as she took his hand and sucked his fingers into her mouth, cleaning his cum and her slick off them slowly before dropping it. Then she fixed her dress – the knowledge that she had cum inside her, _his_ cum,  that it would slowly run down her thighs throughout the night if she didn’t clean up making him a little dizzy – and guided him back to the dance floor.

               All four reconvened at the table a short time later. Makoto seemed to have a knowing look in his eyes as he looked between them, although Rin seemed distracted. He was drunker than the other three, and couldn’t keep his focus on anything for too long. So Sousuke went to the bar for another round – well, except for Rin, he got water for Rin – and when he came back, the redhead was describing some lovely person he had seen on the dance floor. He took the water without question or complaint, which Sousuke was glad for.

               It was only when they were halfway through their drinks did he notice that something was happening under the table, out of sight. Makoto’s hand had gone under the table and hadn’t reappeared, although he was speaking like nothing was going on as he sipped at his own drink. Haru was gripping her glass with both hands. She was trembling, just a little, just enough that the ice in her glass tinkled.

               Makoto looked directly at Sousuke. “You did make a mess, didn’t you?” he asked over the rim of his glass, causing Sousuke to splutter into his own cup just as a whimper of pleasure escaped Haru.

               He was fingering her under the table. And making Sousuke aware of it.

               He coughed again, busying himself with his drink, trying to cool the flush coloring his cheeks. At least he could brush that off as the alcohol. Maybe. Rin, between him and Haru, either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because he had pulled out his phone again and was tapping away. Maybe not the best idea when he was that drunk, so Sousuke reached over and grabbed it from his hands.

               “Hey!” Rin said, reaching for it. Sousuke, who had done this for equal parts distraction and to stop Rin from being a dumbass, kept it out of his reach.

               “No drunk texting,” he said and set the phone on the far side of the table where Rin couldn’t reach it. The redhead glared at him sulkily and laid his head down onto the table, muttering something about how mean he was.

               This, sadly, hadn’t taken that much time and when he looked across the table again, he saw Makoto whispering into Haru’s ear. The woman’s face was flushed, eyes out of focus and mouth hanging open as she panted, as her boyfriend was doing whatever he was doing under the table. Sousuke found he couldn’t take his eyes off them now. Watching the minute shudders going through Haru, telling him, even from across the table, that she was so very close to coming.

               “Come on, Sousuke’s watching,” Makoto said, loud enough for him to hear. His brilliantly green eyes were now on him instead, lips still brushing Haru’s ear. “You can do it baby.”

               “No,” she gasped out, flushing brighter if that was at all possible. She gripped Makoto’s arm with one hand, trying to still it, but he didn’t stop. Small moans were dropping from her lips now, as if she couldn’t contain them as her boyfriend worked his fingers into her.

               “Don’t be so stubborn,” Makoto said.

               Sousuke glanced at Rin. The redhead seemed to have fallen asleep, eyes closed, shoulders moving steadily as he breathed.

               “Haru,” he said and she focused on him with some difficulty as she panted. He lowered his voice to a soft growl. “Give in to it.”

               Makoto grinned as he spoke then looked at Haru. Both men watched as she came, letting out a shrill cry that her boyfriend cut off with his hand. Her eyes fluttered up, choking against the hand covering her mouth, a strong shudder wracking her body.

               Finally she simply slumped, hand dropping from Makoto’s arm, eyes closing. She was breathing shallowly as the hand was removed.

               “Did she faint?” Sousuke asked with mild concern.

               “No I didn’t,” Haru grumbled, eyes still closed. “You’re both dicks and I hate you.” She reached over and shook Rin’s shoulder. He mumbled incoherently and she shook him harder until he actually woke up. “Rin, we’re leaving. These two are jerks.” The redhead glanced between Makoto and Sousuke blearily, raising an eyebrow.

               “What did you guys do?” he asked as he nudged Sousuke to exit the booth. Haru was doing the same to Makoto, but was being a little more violent about it. _Finally_ the brunet moved out of her way, standing up and grabbing his jacket.

               “I didn’t do anything!” Sousuke said but Haru just glared at him. She linked arms with the confused redhead and dragged him away ahead of them.

               “Haru!” Makoto called. “You forgot your jacket!” He sighed, shoulders slumping, and grabbed both his and her jackets from the booth. Sousuke fell into step beside him, not totally sure what had just happened. He kept an eye on the pair before them. They were easy to keep track of. Haru’s sequins reflected the light and Rin’s hair was easily recognizable, although from behind they could see how much he was swaying as he walked.

               “Is she actually mad?” Sousuke asked as they exited the club. They had looked around to see if Ikuya was around, but it seemed the owner had either left or gone to deal with something because he wasn’t anywhere they could see.

               “No,” Makoto said, looking amused as they watched the two. They were only a couple meters in front of them and they caught Haru glance over her shoulder once or twice to make sure she and Rin didn’t lose them.

               “Sometimes I can’t tell,” Sousuke admitted and Makoto nodded in agreement.

 

-

 

               The man who had said he knew Haru came into the café several more times in the next week, much to Sousuke’s displeasure. Josh seemed perfectly fine with him, of course, but Sousuke would always tell him to shut up if he started getting to personal with details. His other coworkers knew that he, for some reason that even he couldn’t explain, had a weird feeling about him, and told him about the time he had come in when Sousuke wasn’t working, only to leave when he saw that.

               Ikehara shared his concern. She thought he was odd, that the man somehow only came in when Sousuke was at work. Or when Josh was in. It all seemed to revolve around Haru. Josh would talk about Haru to Sousuke, and he wondered if he spoke to this mystery man about Haru too. The thought made him shiver.

               But he hadn’t actually _done_ anything nefarious. So Sousuke hadn’t brought it up to his friends. Maybe he was just a weird guy. Maybe the time he had simply turned around was pure coincidence that Sousuke wasn’t working, that he remembered something he had to do.

               A deep part of Sousuke knew, somehow, that he was being delusional. And he really, _really_ should have told Makoto or Haru about it sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please comment!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An ex of Haru's shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guysssss I'm sorry about not updating! I HAD everything written, but then when I was rereading, I did not like how these scenes were, so I rewrote them. If you noticed... it also added another chapter. So there will be 12 chapters instead of 11. I like that number better anyway.
> 
> Special thanks to [Bonfirefox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonfirefox/pseuds/Bonfirefox) for helping out with part of the chapter, and also bugging me to post.
> 
> (You guys didn't think you could get away with no angst for too long, did you?)  
> [CHAPTER WARNINGS: Physical assault, mentions of past domestic abuse, mentions of past non-consensual drug use, panic attacks, transphobic + homophobic slurs]

               Sousuke wasn’t even sure what had woken him. It was his day off and he always slept late – late enough that both Rin and Haru made fun of him – and yesterday had been especially busy. School was back in session and they had been flooded with high school students stopping by before classes. So Sousuke had been exhausted.

               The soft instrumental music he had put on right before passing out was still playing. It seemed he had forgotten to turn the automatic timer on. Wasn’t the first time. So he was confused when he heard a sound outside of his bedroom; barely audible through the door and his music, but still there.

               He sat up blearily and picked up his phone. It was 10:30. After yawning and blinking the sleep from his eyes, he stopped the music and dropped his phone back onto the bed, flopping back down onto his pillows. He had half a mind to simply go back to sleep or to doze.

               Except the sound reached his ears again, clearer now that the music was off and he sat up quickly. It sounded like… something breaking? Someone struggling? He wasn’t totally sure, but it didn’t sound like a fun kind of struggle. And plus, Makoto was at work, and so was Rin, and he knew Kisumi was out of town for the week.

               Sousuke pushed the covers away and got up. Maybe it was just the TV. Maybe Haru was listening or watching something.

               A scream – quickly cut off – dashed those hopes.

               “Haru!” he breathed out and rushed to the door. It didn’t open. Eyes widening, he turned the knob and pushed hard against it. Something was jamming the door from the outside. Panic washed through him. Someone was in the apartment and Haru was in trouble!

               “Stop!” Haru’s voice echoed from outside his bedroom, louder than before. Scared. No, terrified. He pushed harder against the door when she squealed as a dull thud reached his ears. _Not good not good_! He ran to his bed and grabbed his phone. He sent a message to both Makoto and Rin simply reading **Get here now** then shakily dialed 110 before returning to trying to open his door. It rattled on the doorframe as he slammed his shoulder against it, listening to the ringing in his ear.

               “S-Sous—”

               “Shut up!” a male voice reached him now and Haru cried out again before it was muffled. “He can’t save you.”

               “ _You’ve reached the police call center, what is your emergency?_ ” a calm female voice asked.

               “Someone’s broken into my apartment! He’s attacking my roommate!” Sousuke gasped out as he slammed his shoulder against his door again. “I can’t… I can’t get to her!”

               “ _Sir – sir, calm down. Tell me where you are._ ”

               “I can’t get to her! I can’t –”

               “ _Please sir, I will send the police as soon as you tell me the address. I need you to breathe. What’s your location?_ ” her voice cut through the sounds of struggle outside his door, a calm, reassuring strength.

               Sousuke took a deep, shuddering breath. He stuttered out the address, choking on it as he continued to listen to whatever was happening outside his room. He needed to help her! Needed to save her! He was the only one here, only one who could do anything for her, and he was _failing_.

               “ _Police are on their way. I’ll stay on the line until –_ ” Sousuke dropped the phone with a clatter once he heard that and redoubled his efforts to get the door open. His shoulder ached as he slammed against it, again and again. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get to Haru.

               Finally whatever had been lodged against his door shifted and he crashed out of the room. He tripped over the chair and nearly fell, just barely catching himself on the doorframe before kicking it aside to get to where Haru was.

               They were in the living room. Sousuke’s blood ran cold as he took in the scene, momentarily stunned into silence at the horror he was met with. It was _him._ The man who had been coming into the café for the past couple of weeks. The man who had known Haru. The man Josh had spilled too many details about and Sousuke was going to _kill_ him, he was going to kill that stupid American for giving so much information. For allowing this happen.

               Haru was being pinned against the floor, upper body pressed hard against it with the man’s arm across the back of her neck. She was choking and gasping, but wasn’t struggling. It was as if she couldn’t move. As if she was frozen in panic and shock and fear.

               “Shin…jiro… p-please,” Haru choked out, barely a whisper, weak and dazed.

               The man – Shinjiro – grabbed her by the hair and dragged her up, causing her back to arch and her to whimper in pain. There were no tears, but blood was dripping from her mouth and a bruise was forming on her cheek. Neither of them had noticed Sousuke yet, too focused on what was happening.

               “You’re still that same slut, aren’t you? Fucking anyone who offers? You ruined my life, you little faggot whore! You’re still the same! Now you just have tits,” Shinjiro snarled, shaking her head violently.

               Finally Sousuke moved. _Finally_ he got his limbs to react. He moved forward and grabbed Shinjiro by the arm,yanking him back with more strength than he thought he had in him. The man let go of Haru in shock, allowing her to curl up into a ball, shaking violently.

               “Fuck,” Shinjiro spat out but Sousuke didn’t let him react any more than that. He slammed his fist into the side of the man’s face, knocking him away before rushing to Haru.

               Shinjiro groaned and dragged himself up slowly and Sousuke saw him move forward. He saw him get ready to attack them both as Sousuke drew the woman into his arms. He would protect Haru. He would.

               Both men jolted as the door was knocked in and a flood of people came into the apartment. The police had arrived – and just in time. It seemed obvious to them who the attacker was, since Shinjiro had lunged forward just as he burst in, and he was tackled to the ground. Sousuke, instead, focused completely on Haru.

               Her eyes were out of focus and she was limp in his arms. Her blouse – the silly one with sushi all across it that Sousuke secretly loved – was completely ripped, exposing one of her breasts and there was a nasty bite mark around her nipple, hard enough that the skin was already black and blue. Sousuke found he was shaking as he pulled the shirt up to cover her as a paramedic crouched down beside them.

               “Sousuke! Haru!” Rin’s voice reached his ears and Sousuke looked up to see the redhead trying to squeeze through the police. “Let me through, they’re my friends! I need to make sure they’re okay! He messaged me!”

               Sousuke didn’t know if he had ever seen Rin so desperate and it was scary. There were tears in his eyes – Rin’s natural response to any emotionally charged situation – and he was fighting to get through. Eventually the police let him through and he ran forward, kneeling before them.

               “Sousuke, Haru!” he said again, large red eyes flickering between the two of them. He took in Haru’s glassy expression and took a few deep breaths, obviously calming himself. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

               “I…I’m fine,” Sousuke said even as his shoulder screamed at him in pain. He could deal with it. He’d dealt with it before. “But…Haru…”

               “Miss, I need you to look at me,” the paramedic was saying. Haru didn’t respond. She didn’t even move or blink. “…She’s in shock…” The paramedic shifted and started looking her over. Opened her mouth gently to see where the bleeding was coming from. Then started to look over the exposed skin.

               “Haru… Haru, please,” Sousuke murmured, still holding her up. She felt like a doll in his arms.

               “I-It’s… she’ll come back to us soon,” Rin said slowly. He seemed to be trying his best to hold himself together. “She always does.”

               Sousuke shuddered at the implications to those words and the thoughts that it conjured. This wasn’t the first time she had been in this state and this wasn’t the first time Rin had seen her like this. So they simply let the paramedic check her over.

               A shout caused both Rin and Sousuke to look around and Haru actually twitched at the voice.

               Rin’s eyes widened. “That’s Makoto,” he breathed. “Shit.”

“Stay with Haru. I’ll go to him,” Sousuke said and, still shuddering with the adrenaline flooding through him, gently moved so that the paramedic and Rin could hold Haru up and rushed out of the apartment.

He rounded the corner just in time to see Makoto tackle Shinjiro to the ground. A sickening thud told him the man’s skull had come into contact with the concrete, and the groan accompanying it just solidified this observation. Sousuke moved forward quickly and grabbed onto Makoto’s arm before he had the chance to punch him and get himself into trouble.

               “Makoto! Stop!”

               He had never seen the gentle man this angry. He struggled against Sousuke as he dragged the brunet off Shinjiro. “Let go, I need to kill him!” Sousuke hooked his arms under Makoto’s, holding him back as the police moved to get between them and drag Shinjiro back onto his feet.

               “No! You’ll just get yourself into trouble too,” Sousuke grunted. “Stop. The police have him.”

               “Y-you’ve grown some balls, haven’t you? Last time I saw you, you were just a sad little twink getting protected by _him_!” Shinjiro slurred, sneering at the two men. “S-still couldn’t protect your little tranny she-male though… pathetic!”

               “That’s enough from you,” the police officer snapped and forced Shinjiro around, pushing him down the walkway as Sousuke struggled to keep Makoto contained. He didn’t want the other man to get arrested too, even though his own blood boiled at everything Shinjiro had said. Because he had finally realized who Shinjiro was and why he had known Haru.

               He was Haru’s ex from high school. The one who had shared her with his friends. The one who had been arrested after Haru had protected Makoto.

               “Makoto! Makoto, look at me!” Sousuke grunted. God his shoulder hurt. It was screaming in protest. Finally he forced his friend around to face him, clamping one arm tightly around his waist, the other going to the back of his head. “Makoto.”

               Makoto finally stopped struggling now that he couldn’t see Shinjiro. He was panting hard and flushed with anger and adrenaline. Sousuke kept his arm tightly around the man, keeping him close, so terribly close. He could feel the brunet shaking in his grasp. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Makoto’s.

               “Hey. Calm down. We need you. _Haru_ needs you,” he said quietly, not letting him go. It took a minute, but Makoto’s breathing finally slowed and green eyes flickered to meet teal. Sousuke smiled, a bit strained and a bit weak, but he was glad that the man had at least stopped fighting him. Slowly he let go of the other and Makoto slumped.

               “Haru’s inside. I’m sure she wants to see you,” he whispered and took Makoto’s hand, quietly leading him into the apartment through the police officers. Another paramedic had joined Rin and Haru. Her eyes were still out of focus, but she seemed to be mumbling, so at least she was a bit more responsive. Her gaze flickered up and the moment she caught sight of Makoto she let out a cry and tried to jump to her feet.

               She made it one step before toppling forward. Makoto caught her and drew her to him, holding her tightly as they both shook.

               “She needs to come to the hospital with us,” the first paramedic said as she stood.

               The reaction was immediate. Haru’s grip on Makoto tightened and she let out a soft cry.

               “Nonono don’t let them I don’t want to, no, I don’t wanna go I can’t I can’t I can’t,” Haru choked out, and there were the tears as her legs shook so violently that Makoto was simply holding her up at this point. “Don’t make me Mako d-don’t make me don’t let them take me away!”

               “Sh, I-I won’t. I won’t leave you. I’ll be here with you, I won’t let them take you,” he whispered, just loud enough for Sousuke to hear as he walked over to Rin.

               “Is there any way we could simply take her to her doctor?” Rin asked when it became obvious Makoto wasn’t paying attention to anyone but his girlfriend. The paramedics exchanged looks then looked back at Haru, who was sobbing into Makoto’s chest.

               “Wouldn’t it be better for her to be calm?” Sousuke interjected. “We’ll make sure she gets to her doctor first thing tomorrow…”

               The paramedics finally nodded and one pulled out a packet from her bag. “We’ll need her doctor to fill out this and fax it to the police station. The information is at the top. All of it needs to be filled out. We’ve bandaged up the visible injuries but she needs to get a full physical…”

               “Thank you,” Sousuke and Rin said at the same time and they both glanced at each other for a moment before looking back to their two friends.

 

               The whole night was a mess. Even if they didn’t have to go to the hospital right away – which Sousuke was both glad and surprised by – they still needed to give the police their statements. Rin and Makoto gave the background they had with Shinjiro, and the police station that had handled the case so that they could get into contact with them for any details they needed. Sousuke told as much as he could, but he was finding it hard to speak through the lump in his throat. A lot of things were racing through his head, making it harder for him to concentrate.

               If only he had told them before anything had happened. If only he had woken up earlier. If only… if only… And he was sure it would become worse after everything set in.

               It was almost impossible to get a statement from Haru though. Even sitting between Makoto and Sousuke, she immediately went back to the near catatonic state when the police officer asked her to walk them through everything that had happened. Only a couple words came out before they gave up and gave Makoto a card, telling him a detective would be in contact shortly to get a coherent statement.

               And then the police had to collect evidence. Sousuke didn’t know why – it was obvious that Shinjiro had come here for the sole reason of getting to Haru – but that took another hour. They took pictures. So many pictures. They needed the clothes she had been wearing, which Makoto helped with. After she was settled into the bath with Rin as company and the ripped clothing had been handed over to the police, Makoto put his fist through the wall.

               “It’s okay. I’m fine,” Makoto said shakily as he withdrew it. He seemed surprised when he found that his knuckles were bleeding. Sousuke pulled him into his bathroom to take care of it. “He didn’t… so it’s fine. It’ll be fine. I’ll take care of her. It’s fine.”

               “He didn’t what?” Sousuke asked as he wiped the blood off Makoto’s knuckles with a warm towel. He watched his friend’s face carefully and saw as several emotions flashed across his face. Fear. Anger. Despair.

               “He didn’t… didn’t rape her,” Makoto choked out.

               Sousuke sucked in a quick breath and closed his eyes. _Good. That’s good._ He opened them and went back to cleaning the wound Makoto had made. He had had a lot of practice, for better or worse, taking care of small wounds like this after living with Himari. And he had definitely put his fist through the wall at least once.

               “Good,” Sousuke said as he gently applied antiseptic. “I got to her in time.”

               “You did,” Makoto whispered. He looked completely broken. Like he was one step away from completely breaking down. He was obviously staying strong for Haru, because breaking down wouldn’t help her. Sousuke knew the feeling well. But Rin was currently looking after her and this was hardest on Makoto second to her. Because he too had been traumatized by Shinjiro.

               “Hey Makoto,” Sousuke said and the brunet raised his head to look at him. “It’s okay to break down. I’m not going anywhere.”

               Makoto only stared at him, swallowing hard. Sousuke could see his Adam’s apple bob and could hear his breath hitch. He reached out and cupped Makoto’s cheek.

               “Isn’t that part of being in a poly relationship?” he asked as green eyes continued to stare at him in surprise. He didn’t think about what his words could mean. If they were together in all this, and if he was a part of it. “You have more people to share the burden when things happen?”

               Makoto was silent for another long moment before tears filled his eyes and overflowed. His breath got caught in his throat and he let out a choked sob before leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Sousuke’s shoulder. His hands came up to grip his shirt weakly.

               It was an awkward position – Makoto sitting on the closed toilet seat and Sousuke sitting on the lip of the tub, but it didn’t matter. Sousuke wrapped his arms around Makoto as the other man cried. He tried his best to keep his sobs quiet though, so that it wouldn’t reach the other bathroom. He mumbled things into Sousuke’s shoulder; words that he couldn’t quite here.

               Some were audible though: ‘So scared’ and ‘couldn’t protect’. And Sousuke simply held him, running his fingers through Makoto’s hair and rubbing his back. He knew he couldn’t really say anything to make things better – and he wouldn’t know what to say anyway.

               Comforting Makoto distracted him from his own thoughts. His own fears and anxieties. Because he could feel them creeping up to him. But instead, he focused on the heavy weight of Makoto against him and how his shirt was damp with tears, and how he hoped Rin was caring for Haru in the other room. The redhead had said he’s spend the night to be with them.

               “I need to take care of her, I need to take care of her,” Makoto wheezed out against Sousuke. “She needs me. I need to go to her.” He sat up but Sousuke kept his arms around him.

               “Rin’s with her,” he said firmly. “You don’t have to do this by yourself.”

               “She needs me, let me go to her,” the brunet said but his voice shook and tears were still rolling down his cheeks.

              “You’re a mess, Makoto. Seeing you like this would only upset her more,” Sousuke said sternly. “I swear…” He reached up and wiped the tears away. He was still very handsome, the skin soft under his fingers. Without really thinking he leaned forward and pressed his lips against the brunet’s. It was the first time he had really initiated this kind of thing with Makoto – the time while they were drunk had all been the other, not Sousuke.

               It made Makoto stop crying though. He jolted and pulled back, gazing at him in shock.

               Sousuke flushed lightly. “You’re all blotchy,” he pointed out gruffly as he cleared his throat. “You know what… I’ll go check on Rin and Haru. You stay here.”

               He waited until Makoto had nodded numbly before going to do so.

               Sousuke peeked into the bedroom. Rin was leaning against the headboard, Haru curled up with her head on his lap. She seemed fast asleep, one hand in Rin’s, the other pulled tightly to herself. The redhead looked up and gave a small smile and continued to run his fingers through Haru’s long hair. _Well_ , he thought, _at least she’s getting a little rest._ It was already very late. Sousuke had already accepted that he wouldn’t be getting any sleep.

               He returned to the bathroom to find Makoto hadn’t left, although he was now leaning his head against the bathroom wall, eyes closed, as he took deep steadying breaths. Tremors seemed to be shaking his strong form.

               “She’s asleep. Rin’s still with her,” he told the other man and a little tension left Makoto’s shoulders. But he was still shaking and he looked so pale. “Hey, are you okay?”

               Makoto sat up and swallowed. He looked like he was about to say ‘I’m fine’ but it got caught in his throat. Instead he croaked out, “P-panic attack. Fuck.”

               “What can I do?” Sousuke asked with concern as he came over, sitting down in front of him again.

               “…s-stay with me?” he asked and Sousuke nodded. That would help him, too, because if he stayed with Makoto it’d be harder to spiral. He knew himself well enough that he knew that’s what would happen.

              

               Neither Rin nor Sousuke got much sleep the rest of the night, but they were alright with it, even if Rin looked a little dead. He wasn’t usually good without sleep. Rin made sure that Makoto woke up for work, although it took a lot of nudging to get him moving.

               Haru came out when he did, wrapped in a blanket and looking pale and sick. The brunet obviously didn’t want to leave her, but she gave him a shaky nudge, pressing a kiss to his lips. “You need to g-go to work,” she murmured, cupping his cheek. Makoto kissed her palm and Sousuke looked away. It felt too intimate to watch, like he was an outsider all over again.

               He busied himself with making strong coffee for all of them, then called into work. Miss Fujiwara told him emphatically to not worry about it – she would handle everything, and to look after his friends. She would wait for his call to put him back on the schedule, and he silently blessed the older woman. He had gotten incredibly lucky to find such a wonderful boss. He hadn’t gotten too into everything, unwilling to open up just yet, but she seemed okay with that. He mentioned nothing about Josh.

               Rin drove the three of them to the hospital where Haru’s doctor was. Sousuke wasn’t sure how this was better than going to the hospital the night prior, but maybe it had something to do with not using the emergency entrance. He still didn’t know why she had panicked so much upon hearing that they’d be going.

               Once he and Rin had settled down in the small waiting room, both watching as Haru followed the nurse to one of the examination rooms, Sousuke leaned back and sighed. His hand went to his shoulder and he rubbed it gingerly, rotating it slowly.

               “You hurt it, didn’t you?” Rin asked and when Sousuke turned he found his best friend’s eyes focused on him, his mouth set in a tense line. “During everything.”

               Sousuke simply shrugged. “It’s fine,” he said, even as a twinge shot through it. He had taken painkillers before they left, but it didn’t seem they had taken effect yet, so he would just have to wait.

               “Show me,” Rin demanded and without waiting for the other to move, yanked Sousuke’s t-shirt sleeve up to expose his shoulder. He pushed Rin away and straightened his shirt.

               “I told you, I’m fine,” he said, not looking at his friend. He didn’t know if he could handle Rin crying right now.

               Rin clicked his tongue and sighed, sinking lower into his seat, hands stuffed into his pockets. “Go see someone for it, it’s pretty badly swollen,” he said.

               “It’s fine, it’s done this before,” Sousuke replied as he finally glanced at the redhead. He was staring across the empty waiting room to the nurses’ desk. Rin glanced over quickly before looking away.

               “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have it checked out.”

               Sousuke sighed and rubbed it gently again. “If it hasn’t gotten better in a week, I’ll go see someone. Happy?” Rin only grunted, but he figured that he was happy enough to let it slide for now. After that, they both fell silent.

               The clock on the wall slowly ticked as they waited.

               After half an hour had passed, Sousuke spoke up again. “Why was Haru so scared to go to the hospital?”

               Rin, who had been messing around on his phone, looked up at him. His face twisted as if he was in pain and didn’t reply immediately; obviously mulling over what he could and would say. He was quiet long enough that Sousuke was starting to think he wouldn’t give him an answer. And then the redhead turned in his seat so he could be facing him.

               “A couple reasons, I guess,” Rin finally said, fiddling with his phone between his fingers. Sousuke stayed quiet. “I know that her parents hospitalized her at least once while she was a teenager.”

               “For self-harm?” Sousuke asked quietly, even though they were alone in the waiting room, and the nurse was occupied with work on her computer.

               Rin nodded and scratched the back of his head. “She was there for a week,” he said. “Apparently it was horrible. They didn’t let her wear her clothes; referred to her as a boy; all that kind of stuff. But she sort of… faked it until they let her go.”

               Sousuke closed his eyes. That would definitely make someone not want to go back, he thought. Being treated so poorly by people that were supposed to help you… it wasn’t a pleasant thought. They fell silent again as he took in this information. It must have gotten really bad if her parents had actually sent her to the hospital.

               “You said there were a couple of reasons?” Sousuke finally said, eyes on the clock. The minute hand clicked away, inaudible from across the room, although he felt like he could feel it. He gripped the side of the chair tightly. His life felt so tame compared to her and Makoto’s. Sure, he had to deal with his shoulder and losing his dream of swimming on the world level. Sure, he had had to deal with Himari’s abuse for however long that was. But he hadn’t had to deal with this magnitude of thing.

               Rin nodded, chewing at his lip. He only did that if he was really stressed out, and it had been a long time since Sousuke had seen it. “ _That guy_ ,” he spat out and Sousuke knew he meant Shinjiro, “sent her to the hospital twice.”

               “Twice?!” Sousuke asked, louder than he had meant to, causing the Nurse to glance over at them questioningly. “…sorry.”

               “Twice, yeah,” Rin said. The longer Sousuke looked at him, the more drained he seemed. This was taking a lot out of him. “Have you noticed those burn scars Haru has on her hand and forearm?”

               Sousuke nodded slowly. He always figured it had happened while she was working. Burns happened when you worked as a chef for however many years Haru had done so.

               “Haru had been cooking something when Shinjiro exploded… not sure what set him off, I didn’t get that information, but he pushed her backwards and she caught herself on the hot stove. Third degree burns,” Rin said heavily, although his eyes flashed with anger. “This was when we were… 13 or 14 I think.”

               “That young?” Sousuke asked.

               “Shinjiro is several years older than us. He was in 12th grade when we were in our last year of middle school,” Rin said, and Sousuke’s face twisted. At least a four year difference, and when you were young, four years was a lot of time.

               “Well, Haru said it had been an accident, of course,” Rin continued on. “Slipped and fell.”

               Sousuke let his breath out, anger rushing through him. He was glad that Shinjiro would be going back to jail, hopefully for the rest of his life now, with all the evidence against him. He gripped the chair again, hard enough that it creaked.

               “The other time was only a couple weeks before he was arrested,” Rin said, staring at his feet. “He broke her arm.”

               “And she still slept with him later?” Sousuke asked. He knew how the relationship had ended. He knew that she had been passed around when Makoto found her.

               “Yeah! And I never understood!” Rin said loudly, finally looking truly upset. “Why did she do that?! That night… that night, the bastard slipped her something, did she tell you that? That she was high as a kite on some drug? She went back to him even after he broke her arm, knowing he’d probably do something like that!”

               “Rin…” Sousuke said slowly and quietly. Haru had been right, all that time ago when they first talked. When Sousuke had found out that Haru was trans. Rin just didn’t understand how it worked. How it felt to be _in_ that kind of place. He was sure Haru knew she shouldn’t do it, shouldn’t go back to him after that. But that didn’t change that she had done it. Because she probably felt she had to.

               “Sousuke, I don’t understand,” Rin said, tears glistening in his eyes. “Why do all of my friends let horrible things happen to them?”

               Sousuke sighed as tears threatened to spill onto Rin’s cheeks.

               “This wasn’t her fault,” he murmured.

               “I know that. I know this wasn’t her fault,” Rin said. “But… maybe she could have avoided all of this if she had broken up with him?!”

               Sousuke only shrugged. “We don’t know. Maybe it would have turned out the exact same. Maybe it would have been worse,” he said, even as he felt sick at the thought. But stopping a couple weeks earlier probably wouldn’t have changed everything that happened after. “…You don’t get how hard it is to get out…”

               “Why?! Why is it hard to get out?! Why can’t you just _leave_?!” Rin said and now the tears fell. The nurse looked over, concerned and moved to get up. Sousuke caught her eye and just shook his head, telling her he had this.

               He stayed silent for a moment, thinking. Trying to figure out a way to explain it so that his best friend could understand.

               “Think of it like this,” Sousuke said, “it’s like when my shoulder originally got messed up. I kept thinking _it gets better, it’ll get better, it has to get better_ , even though I could see it getting worse… even when doctors said I had to stop swimming or else I would ruin it completely. There’s… there’s always a little voice saying _but what if it gets better? What if this time is different?_ ”

               He looked at Rin, who was looking pale and shaken, although it looked like it might have gotten through.

               “And sometimes… sometimes we’re just scared. What if something _worse_ happened, if we left?” Sousuke continued. “That’s… that’s what it feels like Rin. I know how helpless you feel right now—” he swallowed, momentarily choking up, because he wasn’t sure if Rin felt half as helpless as he did, right now, “—but we need to support Haru…” Because, really, what else could they do? Sousuke had messed up. He hadn’t told Makoto and Haru about Shinjiro that very first day, and he didn’t know why. It was his fault. But he didn’t want Rin blaming Haru, even subconsciously, because he just didn’t understand.

               Rin took a shaky breath and scrubbed at his eyes. Sousuke looked across the room, feeling absolutely numb. The door to the hallway opened and Haru exited, followed by her doctor. She looked shaken and pale, and the two men jumped up to join them.

              “You waited here the whole time?” she asked them both, looking between them. They nodded. “What’d you do all this time?”

              “Just… talked about things,” Rin said, eyes still a little red, but at least he wasn’t actively crying. Thankfully.

               Haru’s eyes narrowed and looked between them. “…about me?” she whispered. Sousuke opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “You always talk about me when you’re together.”

               Sousuke moved forward to wrap her in a hug, or at least settle his arm around her shoulder. To offer some sort of comfort at all. She pushed him away and stared at the ground as the doctor looked at the two men.

               “Nanase, here’s a prescription for the pain, and one to help you sleep. It won’t interfere with your medication, but you shouldn’t drink alcohol while using them,” the doctor said and handed Haru  two slips of paper. The young woman took them silently, although gave a small bow, and walked away towards the elevator, towards the pharmacy.

               Rin and Sousuke moved to follow her, but the doctor spoke up. “I’d like to speak to both of you first,” she said as she watched Haru leave them. The two stopped and followed the doctor into the back where they would have some privacy, even if the waiting room was still empty.

               Without preamble, the doctor spoke, “She doesn’t have any broken bones, but some of her vertebrae and ribs are bruised. They’ll heal on their own, but she’ll need to rest.” Sousuke made a small noise in his throat, as if to say something, but the doctor continued to speak. “I understand that Yamazaki lives with her? This will bring up a lot for her. You need to respect her wishes. I ask you to not question her too much, and you need to be understanding if she acts out.”

               Sousuke clenched his hands in his pockets, jaw tense, and nodded.

               “She may also have nightmares and flashbacks. I gave her something to help sleep, but it may not completely stop her from having them. Here’s a list of things that has triggered her in the past. Tachibana should know them, but please remind him.” She handed the list over and Rin took it, folding it up and slipping it into his pocket. “Look after her. I’ll be sending the medical examination after this and will be in touch.”

               They both gave small bows and turned to leave. The doctor reached out and took Sousuke’s arm. He turned questioningly. “Nanase told me that she has a relationship with you as well. Please be gentle with her. I’ve seen her since before her transition and I care about her greatly.” Then she nodded and left the room, leaving Sousuke a little stunned and numb.

               The two men found Haru waiting for them in the pharmacy, clutching the bag with the medications. She looked up when they approached and stood.

               “Please… stop talking about me when I’m not around,” she said dully. “At least not… not about this sort of thing.”

               “… Sorry, Haru,” Sousuke said but she simply turned away and headed towards the exit. Rin exhaled long and slow and followed.

               Guilt washed over Sousuke so powerful that he had to clench his teeth hard to not let out a sound. He knew they shouldn’t have spoken about her without her there. It was a breech in trust, no doubt about it. He wondered if Haru would forgive him for doing so. And for not helping her sooner. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, before following his friends to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please leave a comment and/or kudos.  
> I don't care if she'd actually have to go to the hospital, it's a fanfic, I do what I want.
> 
> And I'm sorry-not-sorry.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke blames himself and solves it by drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. OOF. Okay, so I needed to rewrite this chapter too since I rewrote chapter 10 and it was giving me some grief. And then today I just whipped out the last bit I needed to rewrite, cause thank god I still liked a chunk of the last bit. This chapter is also heavy.
> 
> [CHAPTER WARNINGS: panic attack + depression, alcoholism, self-deprecating thoughts]

Haru didn’t look at them or speak the entire drive back to the apartment. Rin and Sousuke kept glancing at her then at each other but neither felt comfortable breaking the silence. When they got back, Haru simply dropped her bag on the table and headed towards the bedroom.

               “Hey, Haru… I’m really sorry. We shouldn’t have spoken about you…” Sousuke said, reaching forward to grab her hand. She pulled it out of his grip quickly and turned to him. She looked exhausted and angry, eyebrows drawn together and lips set in thin line.

               “I can’t handle your apologies right now, either of you,” she said, her voice no more than a hiss. “I need to be alone.” And she turned away and stalked to the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind her.

               Sousuke slumped into a chair, suddenly exhausted. He wanted to go to her, to explain that he hadn’t meant anything of it. That he just wanted to know so that he could help her and so that he wouldn’t trigger her. But he had made it worse, like he always did. And Haru had said she needed to be alone, and her doctor had told them to respect her wishes. But what if she hurt herself?

               He made to stand, but Rin pushed him back down and shook his head before joining him.

               “What?” Sousuke asked, maybe a little more aggressive than he had meant. “I need to see if she’s going to be okay.”

               “Sousuke, man,” Rin said. He seemed to have gotten over his minor breakdown while at the hospital. “You need to leave her alone.”

               “But—”

               “If we barge in, we’ll only make things worse. We already broke her trust. If we don’t let her decide when she wants to talk, or be around people, we’ll be hurting more than helping…” the redhead replied and Sousuke knew that he was right. He knew that he needed to wait until Haru said it was okay to be around her, but it was so hard because he wanted to _help_. So Sousuke stayed silent, staring unseeingly across the room.

               “…I heard that he found out where she lived because he followed you,” Rin said carefully and Sousuke looked up.

               “Don’t remind me,” he replied, suddenly feeling worse. He had forgotten about that – that Shinjiro had followed Sousuke home one day after work, finding out exactly where Haru was. So it was even more his fault. “Josh mentioned Haru in front of him. I should have told them when I felt uneasy, but I didn’t. It’s my fault.”

               “No it’s not. It’s not your fault,” Rin said firmly. “You didn’t know who he was,” he stood, “so don’t beat yourself up. I’ll check in tomorrow.” And with that, his best friend left the apartment, leaving Sousuke alone.

 

-

 

               Sousuke was going to kill him. He was going to absolutely _kill_ Josh, screw the consequences.

               “Sousuke this isn’t a good idea,” Kisumi said, hurrying his pace to keep up with the dark-haired man. “Just drop it, he didn’t mean anything of it!”

               “Leave me alone, Kisumi,” Sousuke growled as Kisumi grabbed onto his arm, spinning him around. Kisumi’s grip was strong on his arm.

               “You’re going to get yourself arrested,” Kisumi said, for once the voice of reason. Sousuke shook him off and wheeled around, heading straight for the café, not responding to Kisumi’s statement. He knew he could get in serious trouble. He knew he could possibly get arrested. But he didn’t give a fuck if he did. Because it was all that fucker’s fault (after his own of course). Talking about other people to strangers. Talking about other people when they weren’t there… because Haru still wasn’t talking to Sousuke _or_ Rin. It was easier for Rin because he didn’t live with her, but it was taking a toll on Sousuke, so he had to do _something_.

               It had been pure chance that he had run into Kisumi on his way to the café. The pink-haired man, who had cut his trip short when Makoto called him, had been taking care of some errands when he saw Sousuke walking. He said he could immediately tell something was wrong. And now he was hovering around the other, trying to calm him down.

               “Get away,” Sousuke snarled when Kisumi tried to stop him again, turning so fast that Kisumi nearly walked into him.

               “Sousuke, you’re not thinking straight! I know what happened was horrible, but this isn’t the right thing to do,” he said when he took a couple steps back.

               “Says you,” he hissed and entered the café.

               Josh and Ikehara were behind the counter helping a few customers. It was pretty dead currently, which Sousuke was glad for, as he stalked around the corner.

               “Yamazaki, I thought you were taking some time—”

               Ikehara’s words were cut off when Sousuke dragged the gangly American around and punched him fully in the face, sending him down to the ground. The customer yelped and several dogs started barking at the commotion, sensing that something was wrong.

               “Sousuke!” Kisumi said loudly as he moved towards Josh.

               “You absolute _bastard_ , do you know what you’ve done?” he snarled, grabbing onto the front of Josh’s shirt and shaking him hard. Josh looked stunned and dazed, mouthing up at Sousuke. “He found her because you couldn’t keep your stupid mouth shut!”

               “I d-don’t know w-what you’re talking about!” Josh yelped, half of his words in English, and covered his face as Sousuke pulled his hand back to punch him again. He felt hands grab him before he could land another hit and drag him back. Both Kisumi and Ikehara had pulled him back and off the other man. Sousuke vaguely realized that the tall woman was incredibly strong. He had already known Kisumi was strong.

               Sousuke stopped struggling immediately, breathing heavily, and Ikehara let go, letting Kisumi take over. She ushered the few customers out, apologizing profusely, and locked the door, turning the open sign to closed so no one else would come in.

               “What’d you do that for, Yamazaki?” Ikehara asked as she pushed Josh into a sitting position. He was holding his nose, which was bleeding all over his hand and dripping onto the floor.

               “That man that recognized Haru?!” Sousuke practically yelled, causing Josh to flinch back, eyes wide and terrified. “He was her ex! He broke into our apartment and attacked her!”

               “I d-didn’t mean… I didn’t know… Yamazaki, please,” Josh whimpered out, voice slurred through the obvious broken nose he had caused. He continued to babble, mostly in English, and Sousuke turned away, chest heaving.

               “He couldn’t have possibly known,” Ikehara said, although she did look disgusted at Josh as she handed him a hand towel to stem the bleeding.

               “You shouldn’t talk about people if they aren’t there,” Sousuke snapped, voice cracking halfway through. “You’re a disgusting fucker, Josh. You shouldn’t even be in this country. Disgusting.”

               “Sousuke, come on,” Kisumi said, grabbing his shoulder. “Let’s go get a drink. You need to calm down.” The pink-haired male completely ignored Josh, who spluttered, trying to defend himself, and Ikehara, who quieted Josh immediately.  “Let’s go.”

               “ _Fuck_ ,” Josh hissed out in English as he felt his nose, but he didn’t look at the other two men, and Sousuke doubted he would press charges. Kisumi guided Sousuke out of the café through the back, and Sousuke remembered how he had done something very similar with Makoto. As he breathed, he slowly came to his senses, although he didn’t feel bad for what he had done.

               Even though it was only 15:00, Kisumi took him to a bar and pressed a drink into his hands. “You need to calm down,” he said over his own drink. “That wasn’t okay.”

               “…I know,” he said.

              “…Did it make you feel better?” Kisumi finally asked, a slight grin curling his lips, eyes squinting.

               “Yes,” Sousuke admitted as he drank his beer. Kisumi clapped him on the back.

 

               It was late when he finally got back to the apartment, staggering as he made his way inside. The lights were off and it was quiet. He tried to be as quiet as he could, but he definitely stumbled several times getting his shoes and jacket off. He had had too much to drink. Kisumi had just kept pushing beers into his hand as he too got progressively drunker, and Sousuke hadn’t denied him. The world definitely spun as he made his way down the hallway to his room.

               A sudden scream from Haru and Makoto’s room caused him to jump and almost lose his footing and he braced himself on the wall, looking around. After a moment’s hesitation, he slowly opened the bedroom door a crack, just enough to see, even though it allowed some of the hall light to filter in.

               “Haru, Haru, it’s me. It’s me, you’re safe,” Makoto was saying as he shook the woman thrashing beside him. Sousuke stood in the doorway dumbfounded as he watched, unable to move. “Come on babe, wake up.”

               With another soft cry, the woman jolted up, looking around in panic, eyes wide and chest heaving. Makoto pulled her into his arms as Sousuke closed the door. He was unsure if either of them had noticed the intrusion… probably not. He didn’t know what to do. With the whole thing. With himself. He wanted to help. But Haru wasn’t speaking to him. And really, what could he do?

               He wasn’t her boyfriend, he was just a friend. He didn’t sleep next to her every night, didn’t hold her every night. What had he expected? What had he really expected to happen in this little broken family he found himself in, if he could even say that?

               He didn’t bother turning the light on as he staggered into his bedroom and closed the door, slowly sliding down it to sit on the floor.

               Had he expected to become her boyfriend and become a part of a perfect little threesome? Had he expected to live with them together, as friends, as partners, as lovers?

               _No…._

_…yes…_

               And what would he do if Haru never spoke to him again? What would he do if she never forgave him? He’d most definitely move out. He wouldn’t want to be her reminder of the attack. Before everything, he seemed to have been in the same place as Rin: friends with benefits to Haru (although Sousuke didn’t have a relationship with Makoto as well… yet…), close, close enough to know things, close enough to care for her in crises. And the redhead was okay with that. But Rin was okay with a lot of things. He was open to many things, many different kinds of relationships with many different kinds of people.

               But could Sousuke do that? Could he really just be completely open with his relationships, free loving, open to more if they came up? He didn’t know if he could. But he cared deeply for Haru. He cared for Makoto as well. In a way, he thought, it was different than the relationship he had with Rin. Rin was his best friend and had been with him through many things. But he’d never once want to kiss him or sleep with him. He had never thought himself not-straight before meeting these two before either.

               Yet here he was… finding men just as attractive as women. Specifically one man, specifically one woman. A set, a pair, together for their entire lives, probably forever.

               There was no place for Sousuke in their duo.

               He put his head in his hands and gripped his hair hard. He sat there for a long time, head filled with horrible thoughts, until he finally forced himself to get up and collapse onto his bed, where he fell into a fitful sleep.

 

-

 

               Sousuke started to avoid his two roommates. He couldn’t see the anger in Haru’s eyes if he didn’t see her at all. So he picked up more hours at the café and he spent more time out, swam more (when he wasn’t hung over), hung out with Rin and Kisumi more. He wasn’t really doing it on _purpose_. It was more of a subconscious action, avoiding them, doing all these things to do so.

               The happiness he had felt, at the club, whenever Haru held him, when the three of them (or the four of them if Rin was there) seemed to have evaporated. He was drawing in on himself, and part of him noticed, and that part of him knew it was happening. But he ignored that part. Haru hated him. Makoto probably blamed him. He hadn’t really spoken to either of them in a week. Did Haru even want to see his face? Logically he was sure Haru and Makoto wouldn’t want him to be doing this to himself and yet… and yet, the emotional part of his mind was taking over.

He ignored the little voice telling him that he was spiraling, relapsing, that cutting himself off from the people who cared about him would cause nothing but trouble. That he was drinking too much. But his mind was telling him that they didn’t care anymore, anyway.

So he wallowed, and worked, and drank. And repeat. And maybe he drank a little bit more those nights he was woken by Haru’s screams, because it was a reminder of what he had done, and what he couldn’t have. And he was so out of it, so disconnected, that he didn’t notice that his friends had noticed. Because of course they would notice. Even Rin had noticed and he didn’t live with him.

Sometimes it felt like he could barely get out of bed and he remembered this feeling, from when he was with Himari. From when his shoulder first got fucked up. But it felt, partially at least, that he was drowning. And he couldn’t drag himself out and he couldn’t ask for help. He had never been good at that. And if he had, what would they say? Wouldn’t they be mad, that he was ignoring them? Pushing them away? For something they didn’t even do, for something going on in his own head? Because _he_ was the one who had broken their trust; _he_ was the one who hadn’t gotten to Haru earlier; _he_ was the one who hadn’t told them about Shinjiro.

 

-

 

               Haru still had bruises coloring her back. Sousuke had seen them one time passing her and Makoto’s bedroom and they had forgotten to close the door. Haru stood between Makoto’s legs, her dress slowly sliding off her shoulders, getting caught on her hips, her long hair over one shoulder. Makoto’s large hands settled onto her waist, smoothing over her skin softly.

               And Sousuke saw the pale yellow and green bruises on her neck. And the bruising that still hadn’t dispersed on her spine and curled around her ribs. It looked worse than it was, he was sure, because bruises did that. They always looked worse when they were healing, the black and blue slowly fading into yellows and greens.

               He couldn’t quite hear what Makoto was saying as he pressed his face to her chest, gently wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer, but he couldn’t stomach watching any longer. He nearly ran to his room.

               He had cut his arm that night, too; on a bottle that had broken when he tripped over his chair. He cursed and hissed, and staggered to his bathroom. It seemed to keep bleeding for a long time and maybe he should have gone to the doctor, but he didn’t want to. He was too ashamed. Too drunk. He shouldn’t be doing this, and so he sat on the bathroom floor, clutching a towel he later threw out in the trash, and cried.

               It would definitely scar, even after he cleaned it properly the next morning and bandaged it carefully, wincing as the tender flesh pulled.

 

-

 

               Two weeks after their trip to the hospital and Sousuke was exhausted. He was always exhausted, but today had been particularly bad at work. It was bustling with high schoolers and then Kisumi had showed up and tried to speak with him during his break, about how Makoto and Haru missed him, and that they were worried, and Sousuke couldn’t handle it, not at work. So he had stormed off back into the café, ignoring his pink-haired friend.

               He made a beeline to the fridge, needing to stop the buzzing in his head, needing to numb his thundering thoughts, only to find his beer was, well, gone. He frowned, confused, then looked in the pantry. All of it was just _gone_. He could have sworn he still had had some the previous night. He had made sure of it before he left.

               “I got rid of it.” The voice made him start and he hit his head on the top of the fridge he was checking _again_ as he jerked back, spinning around to face whoever it was.

               Haru was standing there, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, watching him with a seemingly passive expression, but her eyes were on fire.

               “What? Why?” Sousuke asked. The first words he had actually spoken to her in two weeks, and his voice cracked on them.

               “Because what you’re doing is unhealthy,” Haru said softly and pushed herself off the doorframe. She walked forward and he stumbled back until his back was against the pantry door. She didn’t stop until she was right in front of him though. “And avoiding us isn’t healthy either.”

               Sousuke mouthed, then gritted his teeth and looked away. He was shaking, he could feel it, and his whole body jumped when Haru placed a hand on his arm.

               “Come sit,” she said and gently took his hand, guiding him out of the kitchen and to the couch.

               She still had bruises on her neck.

               Makoto was already sitting on the couch – Sousuke had somehow missed him when he had come in. Not that it was surprising, he was in a very one-track mindset. Sousuke tried to back up, pull away from Haru, because this was an intervention, no way around it. But Haru’s hand tightened on his, tight enough that he couldn’t easily pull away, and forced him to sit next to her boyfriend. She then sat on his other side, so that he was sandwiched between them. He felt trapped, crowded, and he didn’t like it. His breath was catching in his throat.

               “What’s this about?” he asked hoarsely.

               “This isn’t okay,” Haru said again. “Everything you’ve been doing. It’s not okay.”

               “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sousuke lied, determinedly staring across the room. Not looking at the other two sitting beside him.

               Makoto actually clicked his tongue in a very Rin-like manner. “Sure. Everything’s fine. You _haven’t_ been avoiding us and _haven’t_ been isolating yourself and _haven’t_ been drinking yourself through the liquor store down the block.”

               “Hush,” Haru said to her boyfriend. “That’s not helping.”

               “You’re right. I’m sorry,” Makoto said, resting back onto the couch, sounding tired.

               “But… you didn’t want to talk to me,” Sousuke said weakly and he felt like a child saying it.

               “I needed space. What you and Rin did was not okay,” she explained slowly, as if Sousuke was a wounded animal, prone to flee at any second, “speaking about me while I wasn’t there, about those things, was not okay. But that didn’t mean I _never_ wanted to talk to you again.”

               “I-it’s my fault!” he choked out, a strong tremor wracking his frame and Makoto’s hand came to rest around his shoulders – long enough to completely do so. He found himself leaning against the other man, into his heat. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed human contact. “That you hate me! That you were attacked!”

               He crumpled, head in his hands between his knees, shoulders shaking violently. He could feel Makoto’s large, warm hand soothing over his back and god did it feel nice. A moment later a smaller, more slender hand touched his hair, and slowly started to card through it.

               “It’s not your fault,” Haru said quietly.

               “Yes! It is!” He sat up quickly, fast enough to startled the two beside him and they drew their hands away. He looked between them, eyes wide. God, his heart ached and he couldn’t breathe. His head was spinning. “He followed me home!”

               Haru took a long, steadying breath. “He… would have found me one way or the other, Sou,” she said. “It’s not your fault he was looking.”

               “But I made it easier! And now you have nightmares,” he choked out, gasping over the words. Why couldn’t he breathe?! Why did his hands feel so damn heavy?! “And you hate it here! And maybe if I had never come here, it wouldn’t have happened! It’s not like I really mat—”

               The sound of the slap echoed through the apartment and Makoto let out a startled “Haru!”. Sousuke raised his hand slowly to touch his stinging cheek as he stared at the woman beside him. She looked furious.

               “Don’t you dare say you don’t matter,” she said, voice trembling with anger. “You matter! You matter to both of us so much! We’re glad you moved here! I thought you knew this.”

               Sousuke was shaking his head slowly, still holding his cheek. That couldn’t be right. It really couldn’t be. Haru grabbed hold of his face, one hand over his own, and made him look at her.

               “You matter. You are important. And you are important to us,” she said. Makoto made a noise of assent as he set his hand on Sousuke’s thigh, starting to gently rub it. He just stared at her, into her deep-ocean-blue eyes. Still breathing too fast, still feeling too tense. She wasn’t finished. “It isn’t your fault that _he_ ’s a monster. H-he would have found a way. It’s… over.”

               “But you have nightmares,” Sousuke said and his voice was barely more than a whisper.

               “I had nightmares before. They’ll fade. They always do,” she whispered back. “They won’t go away forever… they’ll always be there. But they’ll lessen, they’ll fade. Just like scars.”

               Sousuke looked at the bandage on his arm. The cut from the bottle was still healing, and he could already tell it would scar. Such a stupid, idiotic scar.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Makoto finally asked. His hand was still moving. Haru dropped her own and clasped his tightly. Sousuke turned his head to look at the other man and gave a minute nod. Makoto’s eyes looked so sad.

               “I feel… like I’m on the outside,” Sousuke finally said, and now there were tears, there were _fucking_ tears and he hated it, he hated himself. “The outside of everything. Looking in. And sometimes I get to come in. But then I have to leave again.”

               Haru and Makoto exchanged glances and somehow he felt they knew. That they understood.

               “Sorry we didn’t notice before,” Makoto murmured.

               “We want you here. On the inside with us,” Haru said and Makoto hummed in agreement. Sousuke looked back and forth, confusion plastered all over his pale face. What were they saying? What were they talking about? Makoto’s hand went to his hair and was now running strong fingers through it. Such a different sensation from Haru, but he still liked it.

               “What do you mean?”

               Haru sighed, annoyed. “You really are stupid sometimes, aren’t you?” she chided. “You’re more than just a fuck buddy, Yamazaki Sousuke.”

               Sousuke just blinked.

               “I care about you. A lot,” she said, unblinking as she stared at him. “All of you, stupidness included.”

               “You’re important to us,” Makoto chimed in.

               Sousuke’s mind was reeling again. For so long it had been him against the world, sometimes with Rin. But Rin had his own life and own problems and couldn’t always be with him. And then he had found Haru and Makoto. And Haru was beautiful and perfect and strong and different; he cared so much about her that he didn’t just want to be the other guy she sometimes fucked. And the friendship with Makoto had grown, too. Into something that had to be more than friends, even before that make out session, because did just-friends cook each other full meals?

               He had thought that to have Haru would mean to be in between them. Taking something from Makoto that he didn’t want to take, because Haru and Makoto were just so perfect together.

               “You’re thinking again,” Haru said and pressed her finger to his forehead. “I can see you do it. Stop it.”

               “Think of water, right?” Sousuke said with a listless chuckle.

               “Yep,” Haru said as he relaxed his face.

               “I just…”

               The two waited patiently, silently. Makoto’s fingers were still in his hair, and Haru was still holding his hands, after she had poked him gently.

               “You two are perfect,” Sousuke forced out.

               “Hmm,” both of them went, causing Makoto to chuckle.

               Sousuke shook his head. “See? And I’m just… here.”

               “You’re here with us,” Haru murmured and reached one hand up, cupping his cheek. “You don’t have to be on the outside.”

               “But…” he said. “What would that even be?”

               “What do you want it to be?” Makoto asked kindly.

               “I don’t know,” Sousuke admitted. He didn’t. He didn’t know at all. Because at the beginning, it had just been Haru he had been smitten with. Haru he had slept with, had spent time with. But now it was even more confusing, because were these feelings for Makoto as well? Maybe in a different capacity, maybe not, but there was _something_ there, right?

               “You can take your time,” Haru said. “But you need to talk to us.”

               “You can’t just pull away from us like that,” Makoto said. “If you want something to work, you need to work at it. We can’t read your mind.”

               “You’ve been holding a lot inside,” Haru whispered. “You don’t need to do this alone.” And she leaned up enough to kiss him gently. He felt Makoto’s fingers still and then a kiss was being pressed on the side of his head, too, and Sousuke couldn’t handle it. He slid sideways, burying his face into Haru’s lap, and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can, please comment. If not, please kudos! 
> 
> We're nearly to the end, and it's very sad. I promise it lives up to the title. I promise.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. AM. SO. SORRY.  
> I had this written, but then I rewrote chapter 10 which means I had to rewrite chapter 11, and then I had to rewrite chapter 12. I did keep a good chunk of chapter 12, although heavy editing did happen in some spots and I did rewrite.
> 
> This is the last chapter. I reached 100 pages on the word doc. I was using. This is a major accomplishment, too, because I actually FINISHED something. I hope that you enjoyed this ride, it was sometimes very hard to write, and very fun, and I put a lot of ME into it. So I love you guys!
> 
> Special thanks to [Maybeillride](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybeillride/profile)for revamping the magazine article, and [Jelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyroJellyfish)for helping me bounce ideas off for Haru's cafe name.
> 
>  
> 
> [Chapter Warnings: Alcholism mentions, brief use of homophobic slurs]

It was good. But so, so hard.

 

        After that initial confrontation, Sousuke allowed himself to be led into Haru and Makoto’s bedroom, numb and exhausted. At first he thought something was going to happen - until they simply dragged him under the blankets, one on each side, and held him. He had never felt so warm, so loved, or so protected in his life.

        And Sousuke had never slept so well in his life, with Haru pressed close (almost on top of him) on one side and Makoto on the other, his long arm across both of their waists.

        The bed was small. Probably too small for the three of them, but Haru was small and - Sousuke found - easily moved if need be. He had never had a reason to move her in the times she slept in his bed, but it was easy enough to shift around if he needed to. And Makoto slept like the dead, even if his arm did tighten around Sousuke if he tried to move.

        In the morning he woke to Makoto’s alarm going off, practically covered in the other two and unbearably hot. He grunted and tried to push the other man off, but he groaned and tightened his hold, simply ignoring the alarm.

        “Alarm,” Sousuke said and tried to extract his arm to turn it off but found that impossible. He shoved at Makoto. “Turn off your alarm!” It felt like it was drilling into his aching head.

        He felt Haru’s weight shift and she dragged herself over them both, hips across Sousuke, and turned the shrill noise off. Then proceeded to stop moving, draped over the two of them.

        Sousuke, both annoyed and amused but needing to get up, grabbed her side and proceeded to tickle her. She squealed loudly and twisted around, smacking her boyfriend in the process as she tried to wiggle away from the black haired male. Sousuke sat up and continued to do so, liking her sleepy laugh and pleads to stop. Finally he did when he saw Makoto sit up.

        Haru lay sprawled across both of their legs, panting, one of her breasts on display - having slipped free of her top. Sousuke reached forward but she grabbed it and rolled away, fixing her top.

        “No!” she said but she was grinning as she sat up as well. She looked at her boyfriend and scoffed, causing Sousuke to turn as well and burst out laughing. Makoto had fallen asleep sitting up, leaning heavily against Sousuke’s shoulder.

        Haru crawled forward onto his lap and nuzzled against his neck before giving it a hard chomp, making Sousuke laugh more as the other yelped in shock and pain.

        “Haruuu,” he whined and pushed her away, rubbing his neck.

        “You have work, baby,” she said and kissed his cheek before she got up from the bed to stretch. Makoto groaned and flopped back down to stare up at the ceiling. He stayed like that for a few more minutes before dragging himself up out of bed to get ready for school.

        Sousuke laid back down to watch the two moving around. It was rather adorable, how Haru had to nudge Makoto into moving several times before going into the bathroom. He heard the bath start to run as Makoto exited, looking much more put together and awake.

        “Hungry?” Sousuke asked, knowing Makoto still had time to spare. The brunet nodded looking hopeful, and Sousuke got up, padding to the kitchen with the other following.

        The breakfast he made for them was simple - rice and eggs and toast - but it was filling, and woke Sousuke up. Then he waved goodbye to Makoto and went back into the bedroom towards the master bath to see if Haru was still there.

        She was. Eyes closed, hair spilling around her shoulders, she looked again like a siren or mermaid. He came over and sat next to the tub and she opened her eyes, twisting around to look at him.

        “How’re you feeling?” she murmured, resting her chin on her folded arms. Her eyes were filled with concern, eyebrows drawn in.

        “Okay,” Sousuke said with a small shrug. “Exhausted but… alright.”

        She smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss him. He met her halfway to share a slow, deep kiss. And then she smacked him upside the head.

        “Ah! What was that for?!” he said, glaring at her.

        “For keeping all that bottled up inside and not talking to us,” Haru said, eyebrows raising a little.

        “…Okay, fine.”

        The two sat like this for a while before Haru stood up and sat on the edge of the tub. Sousuke blinked up at her, one eyebrow cocked.

        “Let’s feel a bit better than okay for now,” she declared before bracing herself on one hand next to her thigh and spread her legs. Sousuke swallowed as her free hand slid down her body before reaching her mound. She stroked her outer lips for a moment before spreading them, allowing Sousuke to see.

        He let out a groan as she put herself on display for him. She dipped her fingers in momentarily, although it looked a bit dry. He knew how to fix that. He moved between her legs and wrapped his arms around her thighs, dragging her ass off the side of the bath. She braced one hand behind her on the wall across the tub, letting out a soft gasp, as he leaned forward and buried his face between her thighs.

        The first stroke of his tongue on her pussy was familiar and grounding, and the sound above him caused heat to shoot through him. She rocked her hips best she could, urging him for more, and he wasn’t about to tell her no.

        Sousuke licked into her heat, feeling her grow wet against his mouth and tongue. Sucked gently on her clit, causing her to keen and tighten her legs around his head.

        All of his exhaustion was erased as he pleasured her, loving her gasps and whimpers. He didn’t touch himself even though he was hard and dripping, knowing it’d be better if he waited for her cunt or mouth, knowing getting her off would be rewarding enough even if she did nothing else - not that she was someone to do that.

        Her whines turned higher pitch and he heard her curse under her breath, thighs twitching and jumping against his head and finally she cried out, back arching like a bow, coming on his mouth. He gave Haru a few more licks, causing her to shudder, before pulling back.

        She sagged, sliding into the tub as she panted and looked at him with glazed eyes.

        “You’re so good at that,” she breathed out.

        Sousuke grinned lopsidedly at her, taking a bit of the bathwater to clean his face. “You’re cute when you come,” he said offhandedly as he leaned against the side of the tub, a little breathless.

        He heard her chuckle softly, shaking her head. “Come on, sit here,” she said, patting the lip of the bath where she had previously been perched. He dragged himself up off the tile floor with a groan and sat there, feet in the tub.

        Haru nudged between his legs and fished him out of his boxers with wet hands. He groaned softly, eyes fluttering closed, as her warm hands circled around the hot flesh of his erection. He hadn’t touched himself since everything happened, and Haru was so damn hot.

        “So hard,” the woman hummed before leaning forward, taking him fully into her mouth in one go.

        “S-shit!” Sousuke gasped out. He grabbed tightly at her hair as she worked him. If they were talking about skill in oral, he was pretty sure Haru took the cake – not that he knew what Makoto could do – because what she was doing was making his head spin.

        In an embarrassingly short time, he was tugging at her hair as a warning, a small whine in the back of his throat as he came. She didn’t pull off, swallowing everything and milking him dry before pulling back.

        “Y-you didn’t have to swallow,” Sousuke panted, letting go of her hair.

        “I didn’t want to get the bathwater dirty,” she said simply. “Now go get dressed, I want to finish my bath.”

        She was banishing him from the bathroom. That much was obvious, but her tone was playful and he knew there was really no heat behind it. Still, he figured she did want some time, so he got up, drying his legs, and went to get dressed.

 

-

 

               It was hard. Everything was. After drinking so heavily it was a struggle to stop. Those first two weeks had been the hardest. He had a lot of trouble sleeping, even if he was between Makoto and Haru. Sometimes he would just have to extract himself and go for a jog at three in the morning, to stop himself from dwelling.

               His anxiety had taken over from the depression, too. That had been fun the first time he had had a panic attack when Makoto literally took a bottle out of his hands when he got home after a moment of weakness. At least Makoto was well versed in handling those and the situation was dealt with long before Haru returned home from finalizing an account with a food seller.

               They didn’t judge him for getting a bottle or his resulting melt down, but they did tell him that if he felt that way again, to call one of them immediately. Haru later told them she had roped Rin (an easy task) and Kisumi (slightly more difficult since he was more of a party boy) to do the same if Sousuke couldn’t get ahold of either of them. But seeing as Haru’s schedule was all self-done, she would almost always be able to answer.

              

               Screams still woke them all up in the middle of the night. Most of the time it was Haru, but there had been once where Sousuke had woken up mid-yell, to find Haru sitting down beside him on the bed. He simply fell into her arms until he calmed down.

               He hadn’t realized that _he_ could have nightmares when Haru was the one who experienced the attack and yet. They weren’t fun, because they bled into nightmares of Himari.

 

               It wasn’t _exactly_ surprising when Haru came home one day and declared she had signed the lease for the building she had fallen in love with. Makoto smiled. Sousuke dropped his phone. Okay, so it was a little surprising. For him.

               “Really?” he asked, shocked.

               Haru nodded, that manic look in her eyes again, even if her face was relatively passive.

               “…How?”

               And that was when Sousuke found out she had a large sum of money set aside in a bank account from her grandmother, the only family member who had been there for her when she came out as trans.

 

-

 

               The space she had put a lease on had a flat above it, spanning the whole floor plan of the space. It would be convenient for her, and they would actually have more space and full length windows down onto the street. It really was a gorgeous space.

               And everyone knew Haru wanted to get out of their apartment and Sousuke couldn’t blame her. They all needed to get out of the apartment. Ever since the attack, the energy itself, even if everyone was in a good mood, was bad. Haru was still jumpy, still did not like being left alone and would often leave the house if neither of the men were there.

               Which was how Sousuke found himself shivering during one chilly October morning, waiting for Makoto to put the last of their things into Rin’s car. They only rented a small moving van for their furnature, the rest was currently filling Rin’s, Haru’s, and Ikuya’s cars. Ikuya had already left to head to the space, Kisumi meeting them there to start unloading immediately.

               Finally he was able to get into Rin’s car, Makoto in Haru’s, out of the chill, and say goodbye to the place that had so many memories both amazing and tragic. He couldn’t believe he had been there for around a year, and so stared at it from the window, and then the mirror, until the building disappeared from view.

               He let out a loud sigh.

               “Was that a relief sigh or an anxious sigh?” Rin asked beside him, grinning.

               “Bit of both?” Sousuke commented, glancing at his friend. “New place. So much as changed.”

               “It sure has,” Rin said with a sigh of his own. But then he grinned again, showing all of his teeth. “It’s great.”

 

               Sousuke and Haru cooked a big meal to pay back all of their friends for the help they offered through the transition. They all ate it on the bare floor downstairs, trying to imagine what Haru’s vision was for the space and shooting out ridiculous ideas they knew would never happen.

               It was strange but wonderful sitting in that empty space with exposed drywall and a kitchen three decades out of style, surrounded by his friends – _his family_ – consciously realizing a new part of his life was starting. Where they could simply walk down a little hallway, passed the restroom, and up a set of curving stairs to their new living space.

               He had his first drink that night in several months and found, to the pleasure of everyone, that he stopped at one on his own.

 

              Haru and Makoto had been adamant about getting a new, bigger bed for the master bedroom. They kept their own (Sousuke’s went into the trash, it was too old to justify keeping) to set up the other bedroom, in case Sousuke wanted space.

               But when Sousuke saw it delivered, he hadn’t realized just _how much bigger_. Because the thing was _huge_. It took the deliverymen at least an hour to get the mattress up that old staircase because of how narrow it was, but they did it successfully.

               Makoto tipped them extra because it was so hard.

The restaurant took a lot of work. Thankfully the space had already had a kitchen, but seeing as it hadn’t been updated in at least 30 years, Haru needed a new, larger range which had been kind of hard to get back into the space. The building was old and a little tight. They should have known it’d be difficult, after the fiasco with the mattress.

Haru kept them all in the dark about what the interior would end up looking like, except for Makoto and Sousuke, of course, since they had to exit and enter through it. So the opening party would also be the first time their friends would see it.

She had hired one waitress, and her friends, Sousuke included, were going to help out at the beginning as she judged how many people she would need to hire, if she needed more. The space wasn’t very large, so ideally, one day wouldn’t need more than one wait-person. They would just have to wait and see.

 

-

 

“Look at this!”

               Makoto came bursting into the flat, tripping over his shoes as he kicked them off in his hurry to show Haru what he was brandishing. Sousuke, who was sitting beside her on the couch listening to music, tugged his ear-buds out at the commotion.

               Haru, who didn’t actually looked too surprised, took what Makoto had been holding before he knocked one of them out with it.

It turned out to be a magazine.

               “I got it from Ikuya. They published the article!” Makoto said, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, looking more excited than he had for a very long time.

               “Wait, what?” Sousuke asked and leaned over closer to Haru so he could see it as well. He remembered hearing something about an article, and being asked if he was okay with his picture being in it. He hadn’t really cared. But this must have been what they had been talking about.

               It was in a Queer magazine that he had seen in Ikuya’s bar more than once, one he had never gotten around to actually reading, but had seen his friends reading it once or twice. He watched as Haru flipped through until she reached the center, where the article in question was. He leaned closer, resting his chin on her shoulder, and started to read.

> _**New Safe Space in Town!** _
> 
> _Imagine, for a moment, a cozy, welcoming hangout, a place where people can feel comfortable no matter if they're gay, bi or trans. Now, add some of the best seafood and most creative cocktails in Tokyo. There's only one question left: Why aren't you there right now?_
> 
> _Yume+Umi is the lifelong dream of Nanase Haruka, aged 28, owner, head chef, overall wunderkind - and out-and-proud trans woman. (Nanase even breaks the mold when it comes to her personal life, living free with not one but two partners.) However, she is completely uninterested in discussing her unusual personal life when we sit down for a chat. No, Nanase - radiant in a blue chef's smock - seems focused like a laser on her new business venture._
> 
> _She tells a story that would seem to crush a lesser woman, mentioning seven different firings from seven previous chef jobs. As we feast on the house specialty (a perfectly balanced mackerel curry), the disconnect between her resume and her skills is a mystery, if not a crime. Nanase describes how she wanted to open her own restaurant for many years, but was too nervous to do so. To this, all I can say is: on behalf of the LGBT community here in Tokyo, better late than never!_
> 
> _As it turns out, Nanase had a surprising coach in her labor of love: close friend Kirishima Ikuya. For our readers who don’t know, Kirishima owns the prominent and wildly popular LGBT club Sea Foam – home of some of the wildest dance parties in town. Nanase says that he encouraged her, along with her two partners, to follow her dream…_

 

               Sousuke stopped reading. He didn’t need to read any more to know what it said – he knew the story of how she decided to open her own restaurant, the steps she had to go through to do so, and everything else. He settled back against the couch cushion, grinning stupidly as he watched Haru continue to read the article with mild interest.

               “They even mention the grand opening…” she hummed, looking up at Makoto, who beamed and nodded.

               “It might be busy,” Sousuke pointed out. “If Ikuya had this…”

               “That’s why the two of you are helping me,” she declared.

               “Hey, what? When was this decided?” he asked, blinking in surprise at her while Makoto laughed.

               “Right now,” she said then smiled at him slyly. “You were going to do it anyway…”

               Sousuke huffed – because she was right, but did she have to be so smug about it? – and put his headphones back it, sliding down the couch just a little bit. He heard her laugh, or maybe it was Makoto, but chose to ignore both of them in favor of sulking. Haru just deciding something like that on her own! Well… unsurprising. And maybe he had said something about helping, too? He wasn’t totally sure, if he was being honest. She could have used her ‘womanly wiles’ to get him to agree to something, because she could have done that quite easily. He was pretty weak to her when she was sitting on his lap sucking hickeys onto his neck.

               But this was good, so, so good!

               He was surprised at how smoothly the restaurant had gone. The space had been expensive, but using the money her grandmother had left after her death, Haru had been able to put a large down payment on it. The rent itself wasn’t too terrible either, especially after actually opening. The Grand Opening would be in five days, and with it being mentioned in the magazine, business would definitely pick up. Fast. This would also be the first time most of their friends would be seeing it for the first time. It would be one crazy party.

               If Ikuya had the magazine, If Ikuya had been mentioned in the magazine, that meant he probably had some at his club. Meaning _his_ wide patronage would read about the opening of a new restaurant that gave another space where they could safely be themselves. With delicious food.

               Sousuke looked up when Haru tapped him on the knee and pulled his headphones out again.

               “Can you look over this with me?” she asked. He looked at what she was holding, to see a plan for the Grand Opening. “I just want you to see it too.” He nodded as Makoto slumped down beside her, still breathless from running up the stairs. The stairs up to the flat were pretty steep, and if he had run from the station too, no wonder he was tired.

              

               It was the day of the Grand Opening and Haru was stressed. She had been running up and down from the kitchen in the restaurant to the flat and back again all day, checking and rechecking everything that she needed to have done.

               Her friends, boyfriend, and Sousuke, were all helping downstairs – Sousuke and Rin were actually helping prepare and cook some of the food that would be available for everyone. It would mostly be hor d’oeuvres and mingling, which Sousuke was glad for because that meant all the food would be done _before_ people showed up. Less stress on Haru.

               She had been gone for at least an hour at this point though. Unsure of what could possibly be taking so much time, Makoto sent Kisumi up to check on her. Another fifteen minutes went by and by this time Sousuke and Rin had finished setting out the rest of the food, when Kisumi came back down, a little wobbly kneed, his hair a complete mess, and tugging his ridiculous suit-jacket back into place.

               “What happened to you?” Rin asked with a snicker. Sousuke knew full well what had happened to him, and he was sure Rin knew too.

               “She ambushed me!” Kisumi said. “Out of nowhere. She ravaged me! The monster.”

               “It probably wouldn’t even have mattered which of us went up there…” Makoto mused, looking incredibly amused.

               Kisumi went over to one of the mirrors on the wall and started fixing his hair as the others snickered and finished everything up. The doors would be opening in half an hour and they were pretty much done. They were just missing the owner-chef.

               “I’ll go find her,” Sousuke said, chuckling.

               “Be careful. She’s feisty,” Kisumi said, glancing at him in the mirror. “Ahh! Look at this!” Sousuke glanced at the male as he walked passed and up the stairs and saw a hickey forming on his neck just above his collar. He could even see several distinct teeth marks.

               Sousuke shrugged although he was trying his best not to laugh at the man’s obvious distress. “I need to get ready anyway.” And he made it up the stairs to the flat. Haru was standing in front of the full length mirror, squinting at herself, alternating between holding up two different dresses. He heard her let out an annoyed huff as he came over to her.

               “I can’t decide. Kisumi was no help,” she said as she saw him in the mirror.

              “Well, it sounds like you ambushed him,” he said with amusement then looked at both dresses. They were both nice, but one of them reminded him especially of a mermaid, and he pointed at it. “That one.”

               “Okay,” she said. She tossed the other one onto the couch unceremoniously and unzipped the mermaid dress. The top was the same color as her eyes and faded slowly into deep, deep blue with waving lines of small sequins. It made it look like scales until it finally made it down to the flared bottom. “Ikuya got me this one.”

               “Of course. I don’t think any of _us_ could have afforded that. How many yen was that?” Sousuke asked as he looked at it.

               Haru shrugged. She looked tense and her hands were actually shaking. Sousuke took the dress from her hands and set it aside.

               “Are you alright?” he asked her as she turned around to look at him. She shrugged again, although she definitely looked nervous. He leaned down and kissed her deep and slow. It didn’t look like whatever she had done to Kisumi had helped her nerves at all. So he gently guided her back onto the couch, pushing her to sit down, and slid down to his knees.

               “…we don’t have very much time,” Haru breathed out as he settled between her legs.

               “I know,” Sousuke said. He still took his time kissing up her beautiful leg, pale due to season, then kissed up the other. She let out soft sighs as he did so, fingers threading through his hair in a way he just loved. He mouthed over her mound through her panties, inhaling her scent, as she let out a soft keen, then tugged them down off her hips. They stayed at her ankles as she pushed them against his back, egging him closer.

               Finally Sousuke put his mouth to her, tasting her as she groaned. He took his time to lick his way inside her cunt, listening to all the sounds falling from her lips. She whimpered and moaned as he explored her with his tongue and lips, sucking gently on her clit, like he knew she loved.

               “Sousuke!” Haru gasped out, back arching. He pulled her hips off the couch so that he had a better hold of her and ate her out enthusiastically. The hold in his hair got harder and she tugged. “Wait. Waitwaitwait.”

               Sousuke pulled off her, eyebrows knit as he gazed at her.

               “Get inside me,” she breathed out.

               Sousuke glanced at the clock. They had fifteen minutes before the doors opened now. Grinning, he nodded and shifted her back fully onto the couch and undid his jeans. _He_ could be late to the opening – since he still needed to get dressed.

               Haru wiggled herself onto the couch and he joined her. She lifted her hips as he gripped his cock, easily hard from his tongue on her, and pressed in. They both moaned as he thrust into her. He loved how she felt around him, how she clenched as she breathed, how she moaned as he buried himself deep.

               It really didn’t take him long before he was spilling himself into her, rubbing her clit with his finger to push her over the edge as well. Then he leaned down and kissed her slowly and languidly.

               “You’re beautiful,” Sousuke murmured as he pulled out of her. He felt a little bad that she’d have to freshen up, but also not, because although it had been a quickly, it had still felt amazing. And Haru seemed much more relaxed too.

               “It’s five till five, guys, what are you doing?” Makoto’s voice reached them before the man appeared in the doorway. Then he froze as the two looked around, eyebrows raised. “…Really?”

               “She was stressed out!” Sousuke said.

               “Right, blame me,” Haru said as she got up and went to the bathroom to clean up and get new underwear. She came back out a minute later and slid into the dress with ease. Makoto walked across the room and zipped her up.

               “It is kind of your fault,” Sousuke said then disappeared to go change. He heard Makoto chuckling, and when he came back ten minutes later, hair once more tame after Haru’s fingers, the two had gone downstairs. He wasn’t dressed ridiculously nice, like Rin was, but he didn’t feel like going overboard and Haru had said that a vest and button down shirt would be perfectly fine. She had said he could have worn sweatpants for all she cared, but Makoto – standing behind her at the time – shook his head with an expression of panic and mouthed _it’s a trap!_ But Sousuke wouldn’t do something like that on such an important day for Haru.

               People had already started to come in when he finally made it downstairs. They were gazing around with wide eyes. Taking in the soft blues and greens, the swooping lines and classic paper lights lining the walls. He stopped off at the bar – a big swooping thing made of black marble – to say high to Ikuya and get a drink before joining the others.

               As he meandered over, he realized he could finally take in everyone’s outfits now that he wasn’t finishing things up for Haru. Or finishing up _in_ Haru. Rin and Makoto looked nice, classy. Ikuya always seemed to, their easy androgyny putting everyone to shame most often. Kisumi was the ridiculous one, if Sousuke was being honest. He easily stood out against all the darker colors in his white slacks, bright pink shoes, and _ridiculous_ strawberry printed blazer. Kisumi had told him he had made it himself.

               Sousuke sidled up to the group and eyes widened in surprise seeing who his group was talking to.

               “Thanks for coming,” Haru was saying to Gou, a quiet Haru-smile on her lips; she glanced at Sousuke. “You’ve probably met Kou before, haven’t you?”

               Sousuke grinned and nodded as he hugged the young woman. She was like his younger sister, and he hadn’t seen her in a long time.

               “This is her husband, Sei—” Rin started before the loud redhead cut him off.

               “Hey Sousuke! Long time no see!” Seijirou said as he clapped Sousuke on his uninjured shoulder. “Rin, I’ve known this guy for a long time!”

               “And you never told me?!” Rin asked, looking annoyed. Both of them laughed.

               “Neither of you invited me to the wedding? That’s cold, guys,” Sousuke said, scowling but wasn’t too terribly mad. “Good choice though.” He said this to Sei, grinning.

               “I know, right?” Sei said and Gou stepped on his foot with her heeled shoe, causing him to wince.

               “We sent you an invitation! You sent it back as declined!” Gou said, eyes widening.

               Sousuke blinked, a sinking feeling filling his stomach. J

               “Was this like…. Year and a half, two years ago?” he asked slowly. The redhead nodded, looking questionably at him. Rin’s eyes widened too as Sousuke’s face set.

               “What’s wrong?” she asked.

               “Sousuke’s crazy ex. She probably saw it first and sent it back,” Rin said, looking at his friend carefully.

               “Ah man, if I had known I would have given you a call,” Seijirou said, frowning. Sousuke shrugged.

               “You’re here now. Congratulations,” he said and forced a smile. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, one he wasn’t going to spend thinking of the monster in his closet. He gave them a brief wave and excused himself to go mingle with others he may know.

He was only mildly surprised to see his coworkers (sans Josh, he had, thankfully, gone back to America) here. Okumura was with  her parents, understandably, as well as a couple of her friends from school. She came over to Sousuke, eyes shining. The look of excitement on the teen’s face drew an actual smile from Sousuke and he let out some of the tension he was carrying.

               “This is amazing!” she said.          

               “Do you want to say hi to Haru?” he asked her and she nodded and a blush crept across her cheeks. He looked across the dining room – currently with tables organized around the edges – and caught Haru’s eye, then motioned for her. She walked away from the loud and enthusiastic group to join him.

               “You came,” Haru said, pleased, as she reached them. Okumura and her friends were goggling at Haru.

               “M-my parents always loved y-your food, so of course,” she stuttered out, twisting her hands together. Haru reached forward and hugged her briefly.

               “Thank you for coming. Help yourself to food,” she told her, tweaking her cheek teasingly. She gave a small bow to the girl’s parents, then drifted away, looking like she was following a current only she could feel.

               “My favorite high schooler came!” Kisumi said, appearing out of nowhere, causing Sousuke to jump as the pink-haired man showed up at his shoulder.

               Okumura flushed even brighter and her friends tittered behind her.

               “You look nice,” Kisumi said, leaning down to her eye level and giving her a bright smile.

               “Stop,” Sousuke said, elbowing him in the side and causing him to jolt.

               “Fine, fine,” Kisumi said. “Thanks for supporting our Haru!”

               Sousuke shook his head and made sure the pink-haired flirt had gone to bother someone else before saying goodbye to Okumura and her parents and friends. He paused, staring rather vacantly across the room; he could follow Kisumi to wherever he was going and get involved in whatever he got up to, he could rejoin Rin, Gou and Seijirou; he could find Makoto; he could get another drink – he was keeping an eye on himself and he was sure Ikuya was more than willing to cut him off at a certain point.

               Just as he was deciding to get another drink before mingling, his attention was drawn to the door, where a small scuffle seemed to be happening. Several of the guests Sousuke didn’t know were talking to someone who had just entered.

               Sousuke looked around just as a woman break free of those blocking her, and came walking across the room. Right at him. His whole body seemed to freeze, brain going absolutely blank. His glass slipped from his fingers and shattered across the dark tile.

               “The _woman_ you replaced me with isn’t even a woman?!” Himari cried as she stormed towards him, fists balled, her purse swinging dangerously.

               Sousuke felt dizzy. What was she doing here? Why was she here? How did she know he’d be here? He was only able to get out “H-how…” before his voice failed him completely.

              “You were in that _gross_ article, I saw your picture! I didn’t realize you were a _fag_!” she snarled.

               The energy in the room changed immediately. Really, it had changed the second Himari had opened her mouth, but with that, everything had changed further. Everyone had fallen silent. She had insulted at least half of the people who was here.

               And Sousuke just couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel his hands. His head spun and his stomach rolled. Himari was almost in front of him now, hand raising, obviously intent on slapping him. He flinched but was unable to raise a hand to stop her or to move out of the way.

Except it never hit, because Haru had walked straight up to her, passed Sousuke, and punched the woman hard in the face.

               There was a collective gasp as Himari fell to the floor, shocked, tears in her eyes as she held her quickly reddening cheek.

               “Get the _hell_ out of my restaurant,” Haru snarled. Her hand was still clenched and even in her beautiful dress and high heels, she looked utterly terrifying. She stepped closer to Himari, causing the other woman to recoil. “And if you _ever_ come near my boyfriend again, I will send you to the hospital! Don’t test me!”

               Himari, crying and terrified and screaming about calling the police, ran out of the restaurant, back to that disgusting man who had punched Sousuke. He looked like he wanted to come in and teach them a lesson, but Sousuke was pretty sure the entire café was looking at them.

               The restaurant was silent for another long moment as Haru shook out her hand, panting hard, but it was broken by Sousuke.

               “I think I love you,” he blurted out as Haru turned back to him. He could feel Makoto beside him – or at least he figured it was Makoto because there was a hand on his back.

               Kisumi sprayed his drink everywhere but Rin and Makoto started laughing. Rin was laughing way too hard for the scene, but it may have been partially nerves too. The silence was broken as people laughed and clapped.

               “Took you long enough to realize!” Rin said, hitting his shoulder lightly as he came over.

               “Yeah, we all knew,” Makoto added, smiling widely.

               “I didn’t!” Kisumi said as he tried to recover from choking on his wine. “Why didn’t I know?”

               “Because you’re oblivious,” Haru said then turned to Sousuke and smiled. She reached up and cupped his cheek, then drew him down for a deep kiss. Rin whistled, causing Sousuke to flip him off before he wrapped his arms tightly around the beautiful woman.

               Finally they broke apart.

               “I love you too,” she murmured, causing Sousuke to flush.

               “Get out of the way, babe, I need an emotional Sousuke kiss too,” Makoto said, nudging his girlfriend out of the way and before Sousuke knew what was going on he was being kissed hard by the other man, swept down into a dip that made him lightheaded. This time Rin went a step further and _wolf_ whistled, loudly, and several people laughed.

               Finally Sousuke was righted, swaying and in a daze as he looked between the two. He had never been kissed so passionately by two different people.

               “I’ll always protect you,” Haru said as she kissed him on the cheek and took his hand and kissed it gently.

               Makoto pressed his shoulder against his. “You don’t have be to be alone anymore.”

               And Sousuke found himself grinning, even though he felt like he needed to cry, and hugged both of them tightly, squashing Haru between him and Makoto.

 

               Everything was going to be alright. It really, really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of oral sex I guess. Sue me. I like writing going down on girls cause I like going down on girls. 
> 
>  
> 
> CONGRATS. YOU MADE IT TO THE END. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IF YOU'RE STILL HERE WITH ME.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/ottersfic).


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